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So, tomorrow is the 33rd anniversary of my mother's death.  If I remembered her more, I think I could grieve her loss more.  I think I grieve the loss of what I could have had more. Just my opinion. I don't get maudlin about her death.  It is what it is...

Speaking of family, I was able to speak to both my grandma and aunt today.  That is enough to make me smile any day.  I also wrote my grandma and a family friend.  Their mail is going out tomorrow in the post.  I paid most of my  current bills today.  It has been a busy "day off".  I don't have much of my stimulus check left now due to bills and paying my grandma back.  (And rent is not paid, or due, yet. I have that covered however.)  Such is life...haha.

I was able to join in on an art session via Creation Station.  Go art! :) 

Okay, I am out of here....without somewhat risque titles.  Your friendly neighborhood party, Robyn


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by vatten m

....bras, over the shoulder boulder holder, whatever you want to call them. They were most definitely created by men to serve as torture devices for women. Just saying...all of you do not have to agree with my opinion.  Haha.  I bet that subject line got all of your attention though.  ;)


So, what have I been up to lately?  Two days in a row this week, I was a complete and utter bum.  And it was glorious!  It is spring break for my teaching job so I have only had to work 1 job.  I needed the time off more than words can convey.  

I hired a neighbor boy to mow my yard this summer recently.  How do you know that you are a busy, if an unwilling adult?  You have a lawn boy...haha.  I simply do not have the time to keep up with it. I learned that last year.  It was wild and wooly!  


I was just "flirting" with a regular customer.  He has to be all of 2-3 years old and so very animated.  I love when he comes in with his family.  He has such a sunny disposition that makes anyone instantly happy.  Such a cute kid.


Okay, I am leaving now.  Have a great day.--Your neighborhood "flirt", Robyn 



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Hi all,

It's been close to 2 months since the last TOTW themes were posted. As Community Organizer, I've dropped the ball and I am so sorry! Now that I am back, Theme of the Week needs your help!

When I picked TOTW back up in September after a 7 year hiatus, I changed the format to 3 different themes to choose from weekly. I thought that by giving you more theme ideas would help inspire you to write more. It worked for a while but started to become tedious for me to come up with 3 theme topics weekly. Some of you have been very helpful with theme ideas and I am grateful for that and thank you for your help!

I've completely exhausted the suggestions submitted to this diary and I need your help to get TOTW running again. But, first, a bit of a poll:

Should we keep the 3 theme topics a week or go back to one topic a week?

How I have been formatting the 3 themes is: theme 1 is a submission from a blooper, theme 2 is an old theme posted previously, and theme 3 was a theme I chose myself. I've also exhausted all the good old themes as well.

So what I am asking from you guys is two things:

1. Theme idea submissions
2, Suggestions on format (what would make you more excited to visit TOTW and participate?)

Looking forward to your ideas and suggestions!

Beth, Community Organizer

» Submit a theme idea.
» Submit your entry to the TOTW circle.
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Back!!! ack!! ack!!
by ♥ Aime

So yeah, I'm back AGAIN. Made it all official and put my XTRA back on for another year. I've actually had Bloop for a few days, but I had grown my nails really long, and couldn't type - today I had them shortened when she painted them. So, this is really just a "check-in", but, I am!!!



1 like, 2 comments
The Dress
by raen

Well, I found my dress. I mean, I already had my eye on one from the stores instagram account, but I needed to be sure. I tried on five dresses before I tried on the one I had my eye on. I decided ballgowns were not for me. How the hell do women walk in those? They weigh a ton! Too much fabric! There was a nice pink one I was into. And it would have been my dress if the one I had my eye on didn't fit well or looked bad or cost too much. However! The one I was interested in checked all my boxes and I have bought myself a dress! I'm so pumped! 


Today (the 21st) we go back and start looking for bridesmaids dresses. Each of my bridesmaids have sent me ideas of what they would like, and luckily they're all the same fabric. Hurrah! No fights over fabric choices! Yesssss! I decided the MOH will have a different bouquet than the other two to differentiate them. Easy way to make note of her. 


It kind of looks like the wedding might be 1920s themed a little bit. My dress has that feel and Chris wants a suit inspired by the Peaky Blinders.

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Tomorrow I try on my first wedding dress ever. I'm both excited and not. I am because, wow, I'm getting married. And I'm not because I hate trying clothes on. And I have to do it with an audience to boot. Ugh. Oh well....I hope the dress I've had my eye on is in my budget. Luckily the store we're going to isn't crazy expensive. The highest price is $2500, which is above what I've allotted, but still pretty darn reasonable for a wedding dress.


Also, I have some monster cramps happening right now. When booking my appointment, I didn't take into account I would be on my period. C'est la vie!  Chris is letting me use his credit card so that he can get a ton of points. Lol what a guy. I'll transfer the amount to him after the fact. 


My god these cramps are awful. I just want to sleep, but I'm waiting for Chris to get home before I crash. 


Sunday is the bridesmaid dress appointment at the same location. Fingers crossed they find something as well. I'm really into that part of the dress shopping weekend.

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  • got unemployment sorted i hope
  • following week n half later she had her heart stint surgery
  • had a birthday..:(
  • sis and i purged one room of mom’s house  turned it into my Avon office.
  • got a job interview Friday
  • working on achieving Avon Hawaii trip, but sales are so/so right now… i need to sell 15K to achieve and im only at 1k ish in sales… but all the small sells add up so… keep plugging away.
  • working on getting tax stuff so i can drop off to file


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entry 10
by eyeore's twin

7 years

So I have been in the group home 3 weeks now don't have much access to the internet right now but things are going pretty well there but like usual when you have 4 women in a house together it's pretty crazy at times especially 4 women with different mental illnesses. Brenda and I are doing well. Jo is getting married so we went dress shopping with her on saturday we had fun. but since then Jo is pulling her usual crap like making plans and then blowing them off. Today is my 7 year sobriety date and she was supposed to hang out with Bren and I and just like on my birthday something came up but its ok My casemanager took me out for an apple fritter then dropped me off at our favorite coffee shop so bren and I could have coffee I'm typing this while Bren is running an errand downtown. I'm supposed to start school on Monday but I'll have to push that back again My stepdads cousin but I consider him my cousin too and everyone calls him "cousin dave" they thought he had a stroke three weeks ago and then they said it was nothing he's fine it turns out he has a noncurable but manageable type of leukema but it caused some kidney issues and he went from totally mentally there one day to really bad dementia the next they said it could take up to two rounds of chemo for him to get his faculties back so he is sedated and restrained because he tried to rip his IV out.

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Not Good Eough...
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

I am in Florida with Lanette...I love this place for sure. I am in alot of pain and its been hard trying to get it under control. We went riding and bathed 2 out of the 4 horses today. Seemed to bond with the one, Magnum. I am having a really hard time with a few things. It is very hard to be myself in this situation. I feel this every time I am at someone elses house, its like a being dependant on them, in a way even if you have your own money. I absolutely adore Lanette I feel like shes a mother figure to me and a friend, and thats how I have viewed her for a very long time. 

I am however having a hard time with a few things, and its hard for me to even type about them but here we go. 1. I feel like I have to overcompensate for my lack of ability to work as hard as her. Its actually really draining me, on the inside because I find myself in the moment alright, but its every moment wondering if I spilt something, if I left something out, if I dirtied somethig up with my big fat disgusting sef. Right? And the more I am around her the more I care about her, but the more I feel like shes disappointed in me and does not love me like she did before I came here. That might all be in my head but I d k. I just wanna be me. Im silly, and make stupid mistakes and i am clumsy because of my brain damage, and I trip over things, and I have to hold onto things to hold myelf up and I drop shit all of the freaking time. Its like...NO ONE IS THAT PERFECT. And it scares me because if somethign were to happen and she decides that I am too lazy, or idiotic, or not worth keeping around, I have no way home. I have been treated like shit my whole life, and I really want this to work out so that things are okay. I dont wanna cause problems for anyone but I feel so inadequete for the work that needs to be done here, because she does NOT realize how sick and hte amount of pain I am in. I hide htings. I have mentioned this a few times but i dont wanna make a big deal outta things but I also dont wanna bottle things up. Im sitting here in tears typing this. I have alot more that is in and on my heart. but I cant do it right now. <3

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So theres been a pandemic right? And there is an evicition moratorium. If you cannot pay your rent in my state they do not kick you out. It doesn't apply to us at all because my husband has a job he loves and we have been lucky and been able to pay our rent this whole time. Unfortunately we got a knock on the door 2 days ago. It was our landlord. She knocked and then reached for the handle and TRIED TO JUST WALK IN OUR HOME. I die at that part. No one said come in. She just tried to push in. Weird. Anyway we have to move! They are selling the house!  Only problem is because there is an eviction moratorium there are no open homes for us to rent. People who didn't pay rent can just stay and we're about to not have a place to live. I know life is not fair but man is this not fair. Trying to just marvel at the absurdity of the unfairness instead of do the thing I wanted to do which is cry.  This place is already incredibly short on places to rent at normal times. So now we're figuring out what to do and it is incredibly stressful. 

If we can't figure out how to stay here we're going to go back to the city which is scary because J really loves his job. And the timing is just bad. I am trying to look on the bright side because wow I hate this house anyway but we had just been talking about going back to the city and we decided the best timeline was more like a year out. This house was so small that we couldnt have our bed in the room and have access to both the door and the closet and so we were about to swap rooms with E anyway to give him the big room because the little room had the closet and door on the same side of the room. Trying to remind myself I already didn't like this house. 

Since we have been talking about moving anyway J's grandmother has been of course talking about moving here. At one point she talks about a huge house with 7 bedrooms where everyone could have their own privacy. There would be no way we would live with them so I have to assume she has other family members she is intending to live with.   J tried to tell her she you know could obviously move down to the coast if she wanted but that we were not planning to stay more than a year or two. She then tells us that it would be awful to raise our kids in a city and tries to talk us out of it. I don't know she doesn't even live here and honestly I am not over her hand in J's mother flipping out on J last year instead of you know, apoligizing for her treatment of her son. She seems to think we're cool but I don't feel that way and I also don't know any normal way to be like "I'm still pissed off about what you did last year even though its been over a year and a half since we have actually had to be around each other."  I don't want to pretend things are ok but she just exhausts me.   I am dreading having to be in the same room as her eventually and I just can't imagine any future ever where we spend more than a few days in a row together. 

Anyway we're moving and its really shitty timing and I am kind of just circling about it.  Joping next week to get some boxes and start packing up I guess. To maybe go no where. 

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So me and David have now been separated for 4 months now.  I'm glad.  We're finally able to have a civil conversation.  *Most of the time*.  I told him I might let Waylon stay the night with him sometime soon but I'm still not sure.  I guess we'll have to see how everything goes.  I'm still talking to Jacob.  He's very sweet.  In other news I think I've gained like 30 pounds since being seperated from David.  I think part of it is depression even tho I'm taking meds for it.  I just feel like....I dunno.  Like I'm just too exhausted to get up.  I have no clue what the fuck is wrong with me or why I feel the way I do.  Half the time I don't even know what I feel.  Aggravated?  Angry?  Sad?  I dunno.  I'm just exhausted on feeling anything if I'm being honest.  I like the way I feel numb sometimes.  I dunno, probably sounds stupid I know.  Sometimes I just dont wanna talk about what I'm feeling.  I don't want to feel anything.  Fuck I dunno.  I'm confused as fuck anymore, along with exhaustion.  I just sleep most of the time.  Can't bring myself to get up and move.  Or care to move.  Like, I know I'm gaining weight but I don't have the motivation to get off my ass and do something about it.  I've turned into a lazy fuck who doesn't care about anything I think.  I never thought separation would have me feeling...this strange.  I dunno.

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72 hrs
by valencia
So scratch what I said in the last 3 entries because so much happened in the last 72 hours. Holy crap. I don't even know where to begin but I am at work. I will write soon.
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by ohwow

Still not got much to say 😂

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Meagan's New Toy Gets Its First Workout
by "Love is like war: Easy to begin bu

Standing up, I carefully step out onto wet tiling, the plug still firmly buried in my ass.  My pussy is aching for attention.  Quickly toweling myself dry, I walk into the bedroom.  Opening the drawer of the nightstand, I take out my little silver friend, my vibrator, and set it down on the bed.  Walking over to the dresser, I grab my cell phone before walking back and climbing onto the bed.

I find Kyle’s name in my contact list and press dial.  The phone rings for several seconds.

“This is Kyle.  What is it Meg, it’s almost 11:30.”

“I know honey, but I want you to just listen. OK?”

“Listen to what?”

“Just listen.  I’ll tell you after it is all over.”

I climb up in the doggy position and reaching for my vibrator, position it against my clit and turn it on.  Simultaneously, I reach back with the other hand begin manipulating the plug that is stretching and filling my ass.  Within moments my moans fill the bedroom, drowning out David’s music.  Higher and higher I’m taken as the sexual desires, the sexual energy within me builds quickly.

Vaguely, through my increasing moaning and groaning, I hear Kyle’s voice.

“What’s happening?  What in the hell are you doing Meg?”

I don’t answer, but continue to twist and turn the butt plug while pressing the vibrator hard against my clit before sliding into my pussy and thrusting it back-and-forth.  After a few minutes, I set the tip back against my swollen clit.  The tension within me in building and I fight the urge to release. 

I want to be taken as high as I can.  I want to treasure every moment of the pleasure I’m giving myself. 

Soon I’m screaming “Yes… Yes… Oh YES… YYEESS…”

I can hardly stand it now and my moans, groans and screams get louder and louder.

Finally, I can no longer hold back the pressure.  The dam breaks and my pussy begins flooding the bed with my juices as my body convulses and shakes violently as another orgasm rips through me.

I scream out in one long, continuous stream of “YYYYYEEEEESSSS’s” as yet the climax overwhelms me.   In the midst of my orgasm, I think I can hear Kyle’s own release through my phone.

“Fuck YES, Shit, Fuck YES… YES… YYYYEEEESSSS…” I hear from my phone as Kyle, obviously masturbating himself, shoots his load who knows where.

For several minutes, there is only the sound of heavy breathing coming from me and my phone.  After our breathing and our heartrates return to normal, I hear Kyle.

“Meg, that was wonderful and I certainly needed that, but couldn’t it of waited?”

“No!” I reply emphatically.  “I wanted you to hear your girlfriend’s first orgasm with a butt-plug in her ass.”

“A BUTT-PLUG?” Kyle asks, with obvious enthusiasm.  “What prompted that?  What’s going on with you Meg?”

“I want you to fuck me in the ass Kyle.  You hear me, I want you fuck your girlfriend in the ass.”

“Are you sure babe?  You’ve been fighting me about this for what seems like forever.”

“After tonight, yes I’m sure.  I want to feel your cock in my ass!”

“Well, I think I can manage that.  How about I pick you up from work tomorrow.  We can have a nice dinner and go back to your place afterwards.”

“How about you get your ass over here tonight?  Give me a chance to show you my new toy collection.”

With a palatable sigh in his voice, Kyle said “Meagan, you don’t have to ask me twice!”

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Summer Interns
by "Love is like war: Easy to begin bu

That Saturday Paul arrived at Darina’s apartment in the Inwood section of Manhattan. First, they met at a Chinese restaurant to pick up the food.

After they ate in the dining room, they sat on the sofa in the living room. Darina was the one to initiate some romantic action. She cuddled up next to him and they started a make-out session. Paul was not that surprised about it; he expected it in fact because she had invited him to be alone with her. He restrained himself somewhat in that he did not attempt to touch her on intimate parts of her body.

He did fantasize about what kind of panties she was wearing under her skirt. Maybe she's not wearing them at all. He decided, based on what he knew about Darina, that she wouldn’t do that.

After a few minutes, she said, “I’ve got something to show you. It’s right here.” She reached into a drawer of a side table and took out her pink vibrator.

“Do you know what this is?”

“I’m not really sure.”

Paul was pretty sure he did know, but he decided to be cautious and not insult her in the unlikely case he was wrong.

She giggled, “Silly, it’s a vibrator. You know what those are, right?”

“Of course.” He had never seen one except those that were sometimes displayed in store windows. Those didn’t look anything like this one.

She leaned into him and said softly, “I’m going to show you how it works, right here, with myself as the subject.” He was so amazed and delighted that be couldn't think of an answer. She continued, “After I get myself off with this, I’ll do something to get you off too.”

“Really? Like what?”

“It will be a surprise. You’ll find out.”

Darina went through her usual vibrator routine as he watched. First, she lifted her skirt and took off her panties. As she spread herself, Paul realized that he had never seen a woman's genitals except in magazines. He remembered masturbating frequently while looking at the usual Playboy and Penthouse magazines. He was impressed by her thick brown bush. Yet he stayed in place and made no attempt to touch her down there.

Darina said, “There is a sort of, ah, set of procedures I usually follow that I know will work.” She lifted her blouse and undid her bra. “I often play with my nipples because that feels good too.” Out of caution she rarely did that at the office. Then she remembered Paul playing with Judy's exposed breasts in the supply room.

Paul of course already had a big erection from looking at her body. She said, “Heres how it's done.” She rubbed the vibrator along the outside of her vulva. Then, she used the two prongs as needed, the big one for her vagina and the smaller on her clitoris.

Unlike the office restroom, she made no attempt to lower her voice. She moaned and grunted with pleasure as much as she wanted. This thing is great; I’m going to climax in less than ten minutes. When her orgasm arrived, she didn't say anything particularly original; she merely chanted, “Oh my God, oh my God, I'm coming.”

Just after it happened, she looked down to see if she had squirted on her parents' couch. She hadn’t, which was a relief. Then she enjoyed the afterglow by stroking herself with her hand. She remembered Judy's exposed breasts and she played a bit with her own nipples.

Paul hoped hed be invited to join in the breast and genital rubbing, but he kept his patience. She said she’d do something for me; I just have to wait for it.

After Darina had caught her breath, she was very blunt, “Have you ever had a blowjob?”

“Oh yeah, of course I have.” He didn't mention Judy, which didn’t surprise her.

Actually, Paul was hoping he’d be allowed to penetrate her well-lubricated pussy. He didn’t know if Darina was a virgin or not, but he knew about his own lack of experience. Getting his cherry busted with this pretty girl tonight would be ideal. He had masturbated thinking about her at times; sometimes he imagined fucking her on the floor of the supply room.

Then he thought, Well, maybe we'll do it later on or maybe on some other night. In any case, he figured that an actual fuck with her was practically guaranteed, eventually.

Darina was very direct. She said, “Stand up, right in front of me.” When he was in position she undid his pants. Unlike the session with Judy, she lowered his trousers and underwear; his erect cock jutted out.

“Give me a second.” She used Judy’s ploy of freshening her lipstick. In a moment her mouth was bright red.

Okay, now what do I do? Fortunately, she had seen Judy's technique from start to finish, so she copied that. She was sitting while he was standing. She held his hips and pulled him forward. I wonder what it tastes like? Well, there’s only one way to find out. Like Judy had done, she started by kissing and sucking on the tip of his cock. A small bit of fluid came out which she licked up. Pre-cum; this guy is ready to go, so it shouldn't take too long.

She moved on to licking and kissing the shaft. She put her lips around it to get some lipstick on it. Now it was Paul's turn to moan and groan. He held her hair and repeatedly said her name.

Then it was time to hold the base and suck on the outer half of the shaft. The taste seemed okay; Paul had taken a shower that afternoon. But what impressed Darina was the sexual power she was exerting over him. He was completely in the moment as her mouth worked on his penis. He reached down to touch her bared breasts and he managed to massage her nipples.

Darina could feel the pressure building up inside his cock. This isn’t going to take long. She reached out to cup his balls, and then she started to massage his buttocks.

He became more rhythmic in his forward thrusts, and louder in the noises he was making. She didn't mind the brevity of the act; the length of time for the sucking was more than adequate. She briefly wondered what it would be like if he went down on her; she had never experienced that with a man. Should I have him do that to me when the present act is over?

She could feel his cock stiffen even more as he rocked back and forth. Then she wondered what she would do when he came. Taking his entire load and trying to swallow it seemed daunting. She considered pulling him out at the last moment and aim him so that he shot went, well, where? If it was aimed over her shoulder then surely a lot would land on the couch, which would probably be difficult to clean properly.

She wished she had asked for a handkerchief at the beginning, and then he could ejaculate into that. She came up with a compromise. At the last moment, she would pull him out and stroke him with her hand. She would try to aim it so that most was launched into her open mouth. That seemed better than gaging on the entire load as it poured into her throat.

It worked pretty well that way. As he cried out in pleasure, their aim was pretty good. Some of it got onto parts of her face, but that wasn’t too bad. She contemplated the taste of the stuff actually in her mouth. It seemed a bit salty but bland; she thought of New England-style clam chowder. She never considered using her mouth, as Judy had done, to remove the remaining cum from his cock and also to show additional affection.

He collapsed so that he was leaning over the back of the sofa. Darina kept her wits and made a simple request, “I could use a handkerchief now if you've got one.

She used it to clean her face. She was a bit perturbed that some had gotten on her but, thankfully, none on the sofa. This couch is rather expensive.

They both seemed at a loss as to what to do next. Paul stood there, stunned perhaps, until he pulled his pants up and sat down. He could see that Darina wasn’t even looking at him. She felt disappointed; this all had all been so abrupt with little romantic build-up. It was just a series of physical acts.

He tried; he put an arm around her shoulders. He hoped that she might kiss him, but she made no attempt to do that or even to nuzzle him. She looked straight ahead at the opposite wall.

Darina, for her part, having completed the session, was now thinking of a way to get him out. He obviously is fond of Judy; maybe he is even in love with her. She couldn’t figure out what was so appealing about Judy’s swelling behind and frizzy hair. The fact that she was also smart and funny didn't figure in the other woman's calculations. She thought that she herself possessed those qualities.

She needed time to think; she said, “I’m going to the kitchen for some seltzer.” She didn’t offer any to him.

Once in there, she assessed her situation. He obviously likes having two chicks at once; maybe there are even more I don’t know about. She had to work in the office, but the idea of him being around during her sophomore year at City College seemed intolerable.

She came back with the best excuse she could think of. She indicated her belly and said, “I’m not feeling very well. I don't think that Chinese food agrees with me.”

“I’m really sorry to hear that.” What am I supposed to do about it? He had been fantasizing about copulating with her on the couch after that well-executed blowjob. She's not wearing panties now and her bra is open; she’s already primed to go.

Instead, he heard, “Maybe it would be best if you go. I need to lie down for a while.” I feel like I just got here; lie down with me. But he knew he was being dismissed. In a few minutes, he was catching the A train at 207th Street.

As per Duke Ellington, the A train was the fastest way to Sugar Hill in Harlem. But Paul was going to change there for the D up to The Bronx.

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entry 09
by eyeore's twin


So of course when I need to be getting ready for my move I either got residual weakness from the Covid or a Fibro Flare up any way I was in bed yesterday until church our church meets at night because we share the building with another church church was awesome like usual it was nice seeing everyone again after being gone for so long. My Pastor told me she's so proud of me for dealing with everything happening at once and my attitude towards it I've been up since 3 which is why I don't like taking my meds before 11 and I taking my day meds around 11 which Bren doesn't get. I have a lot I have to do in the next few days I can't afford to get sick or to go manic on the other side of it well I'm going to try and take a nap now

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Imagine my future
by valencia
When I look into the future like 5,10,15 years from now I imagine it with Ryan. It is so weird that is how I know I am over Eman. Like when I used to imagine the future with Eman I was happy with it but in the four years that I been away from Eman I have really evolved and changed. Back then I did not really care about politics. I was just a liberal that voted. Did not care to change things and was content with the way things were and just stayed out of it. I was ambitious and cared about having a career and getting wealthy. Now I don't care about any of that stuff. I care about politics more than ever but in the lefty side, I care about traveling and creating relationships and bonding experiences but most of all Ryan challenges me in ways I have never been challenge before intellectually and he makes me want to be a better person. I no longer care for capitalism and getting wealthy, I care about humans and suffering and their pain. I would love to run for office someday even if it's just local. But most of all when I imagine my future it is with Ryan by myside. He has saved me from myself more times I can admit. He helped me get over Eman. It is weird how people evolve with time in such a short amount of time I have definitely change for the good though. I am currently in therapy trying to navigate all these new changes and I really want to be happy because I deserve it. I have so much of the past that I need to work through but I know with Ryan by my side I can get through everything. I just thought I would write out all this because it is so weird how humans evolve and change and depending on the surroundings their needs change. Sometimes for the better. I will always be grateful for Bernie Sanders he has changed my life but most of all because of him i met Ryan. How weird a politician would bring me my person.
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eventfull week...
by The Avon Lady

so my mom had her first supper low blood sugar ever.. i heard her hollaring for me, and found her out of her chair nose in her needle box, on her side. wish i had taken a picture.  ended up calling 911... ems took her sugar 13!!! she has never been that low ever! so she was taken by ambulance to the hospital where they found out she had fluid in chest cavity and double up on meds.. so all in all a blessing in disguse she got home yesterday... still on for her heart stint on the 4th tho...  My avon customers know my moms having a procedure and to order online if possible. 


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entry 08
by eyeore's twin


So I met with my mentor this morning her and I are doing a mentor\mentee bible study but its really cool each week is a scripture and then there are 6 journal prompts and I was telling her how i'm at peace with everything that happened including going back to the group home and I wish that Bren would get that all that went down i'm at peace with and that i was never angry with her and that none of this is her fault so she needs to not blame herself the other night my blood sugar was dropping but wasn't low yet and i tried to go get a protein bar and I kept falling down it was several times between my bedroom and the kitchen well Bren told the casemanager in charge of the group home I was going to tell her when I saw her anyway well they have a plan for when I need food but can't get it because i'm dizzy they'll have a emergency kit for me and that the other residences will know to bring that to me Brens room will be next to mine and she is really good at dealing with my lows i now had to push my school start date back again because I had covid the week I was supposed to start my stepdad still isn't happy with me going to a Christian College and I know he thinks that because of my mental impairments that I don't know how to pick a school i let him and my mom pick where I went to college after highschool and that was a disaster and I eventually had to drop out well happy saturday everyone

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entry 08
by eyeore's twin

6 Days

So 6 days until i move bren came by for 15 minutes to pick up some of her stuff so that i don't have to pack up her stuff my case manager is bringing me boxes on monday and is going to help me pack on tuesday but i might need him to take me to the storage place so i can rent a storage unit and to walmart so i can get bedding because i don't still have the bedding i still had last time i was there i am slowly getting then ready

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I forgot how much I hate looking for a new job. I hate interviewing. I hate even more that I have to do it over Zoom. I guess I can wear comfy pants while having the interview. That's a bonus. But the stress gives me hives. Literally. Probably the stress is a combination of the nonsense that is happening at my current employment and my body is just freaking out over it. That's not really a surprise. I'm less stressed about the interview process than the current status of my job. I actually dread going to work everyday. My alarm goes off and I want to just crawl deeper into bed than I already am. I just can't bring myself to enjoy it right now. 


That said, I have an interview tomorrow morning for a job that will involve me working from home. Hopefully I get it. Maybe I'll hate it. Who knows. Wish me luck. I have a headache right now. Blah.

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Ex Eman
by valencia
My ex Eman who I have written about here many times has Colon Cancer. I am like stunned and shock. He reached out to me like in October but I barely saw the message via fb messenger. And we talked yesterday he wants to meet up and make amends and apologize for the way he treated me. I appreciate it as it is now easier for me because I have zero feelings for him. But I have to tell Ryan. Eman does know I am in a relationship, I told him I can offer him friendship that is the best I can do. Our relationship was very weird and kind of one sided. I think he wants closure which is fine because we both deserve it. But I do feel bad that he has nobody to take care of him and he still has to work. I mean it is the human in me. Honestly I don't know wtf to do.
The weird thing is I had a dream about him a couple of weeks ago where he was lying next to me and he died. Fuck my life. I do not want to speak this into existence but he did confess to me today that he could end up like Chadwick Boseman. I mean I never want to wish death on anyone. Life as we are grownups can be so damn complicated. Ughhh!
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entry 06
by eyeore's twin

7 days

so 7 days until I move into the group home theres so much to do but with negative temperatures it's a little hard but i did spend time with my case manager today and he is going to take me to my group home appointments on my move day bren is out of the hospital i saw my dr today he said that it looks like i recovered well from the covid my blood sugars are all over the place and he wanted to change to a newer more potent insulin but my insurance wouldn't cover it so now i'm on the highest dose of that brand of insulin that my dr has ever seen i see my dr again in a couple of weeks hopefully we'll figure some thing out by then

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Theme 437
by Theme Of The Week
theme 437 option 1

Submitted by Greta Garbage.

What are you looking forward to the most when we are finally safe enough to go back to our lives? What will you miss about lockdown?

theme 437 option 2

Submitted by Ashalicious.

Who would you most like, and least like, to be stuck in an elevator with?

theme 437 option 3

Submitted by TOTW

What would constitute a "perfect" day for you?

» Submit a theme idea.
» Submit your entry to the TOTW circle.
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entry 04
by eyeore's twin


so bren and i found an apartment got everything done at the meantime i got super sick and bren decides that she doesn't want to move in that afternoon my phone was dead and i had gotten so sick that i couldnt take care of roxy and brens cause manager showed up to check on me so that was a disaster and that night i ended up in the ER with Covid that was a disaster and any way my case manager took roxy back to the pound but it was for her best and yesterday i finally got the clear from the state to get off quartentine and it looks like i'm going back into the group home because even with hud housing i can't afford anything in town without her but truthfully there are some things that going back to the group home might help with bren is in the psych unit again well i'm going to go back to bed cause i have a housing inspection tuesday and i need to clean the house for then

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On becoming human again
by Malkavian Kitten

I didn't realize just how much of myself I had set aside to make my relationship work.  And even looking back on it, I'd do it over again to keep him in my life and stay in the relationship longer.  I lost a lot of my self, but it wasn't healthy stuff in and of itself, anyway.  

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by The Avon Lady

so i finally got a call back from the unemployment office, they had recieved my reupp for unemployment but their still processing it, and i have a follow up call for the 26th of feb at7:30am to get an update..... seriosuly what am i supposed to do? my bills are all fucked up now,  my mom and my bf are covering everything for me i feel like shit. my mom has to have a special hear cath procedure on the 4th of march for her 100% blockage... I WANT A FREAKING JOB.  Avon helps it does... but when car payment, student loans,  cancer insurance... phone bill... im just so over this covid thing. i dont hear back from my applications... im jsut over this stuff... 


Shop online at

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We Are Alive...
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

I have been away...Doing some real life soul searching. And frankly I am going back and forth from anger to despair and in between I found hope. It is hard to see, its a streak of light through a thick blackness, but it is there. And it is alive and well regardless of how I feel. We all go by feelings. If we feel terrible, its easier to speak out of anguish and desperation rather than optimism, and hope of the future. First of all, I have made many many many mistakes in my lifetime, and I am the first in line to admit this. But to those of you who have tried to bully and intimidate me? Shame on you.  I have never tried to do anything on here except help people, by telling them that I believe them, they arent nuts, and there is hope!!! Yes I failed in so many ways, but the thing is, most of my mistakes are because of blood and brain, njuries, yep I said that. I have zero malicious intent towards anyone on here, and God knows that, and my soul does know it as well too. I am surprised that I have been able to be as intact and levelheaded as I have been, considering. And if you want loyalty and respect, you have to be loyal and respectful. If you want people to tell you the truth, you need to be truthful, yourself. If you want absolute truth, you must have clean hands and truthful lips, without deciet. I have made transgressions, and repented with bitter tears before God.  The wrong kind of fear of God is afraid that God will hurt us; the right kind is afraid that we will hurt God. And shame on those who present God as a sledgehammer to crush the already broken. Its a shame. Deep crisis. In need of the REAL God's deliverance. Great stress, great pressure. Pressing out the bad oil. Squeezing out the bad from the bones. Those who have ears to hear.......Make the TREE GOOD, and there will be good fruit. We need to not spend so much time on regretting the past, ( bad fruit ) A GOOD TREE CANNOT PRODUCE BAD FRUIT. That doesnt mean we are throwaways because we have some bad fruit. We just need pruining, not destruction. Stop scaring the little leaves. We are important too. A HYPOCRITE IS NOT SOMEONE WHO HAS A STANDARD AND FAILS TO MEET IT, LIKE ME. A hypocrite is a play ACTOR, who puts huge burdens and expectations on others, and would never in a million aeons lift a little finger to do what they are telling others to do. That is not me. I am trying with all my heart to do the right things, and their decaying, moth eaten rottenness is not going to stop me from doing what it is right. It is about time, that I do. “I have no dependence but God; I trust him alone. Should he even destroy my life by this affliction, yet will I hope that when he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold. '''  Also? The friends of Job are everywhere.  HUGGLES. <3

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Life lately
by valencia
So life has been better this year already. I am so in love with Ryan. He treats me fucking amazing. He is the best. Our relationship is so pure and perfect. He accepts me for all my flaws. I started therapy and it has been good for my soul. I love to improve myself. I always feel like a person can always improve one's self. I been getting involved with mutual aid projects in my city and I am loving it. I recently joined DSA and have met so many cool people that are heavily involved in politics and the local community. It is a amazing. All of them acknowledge their privilege and I love that about this community.

I have outgrown so many people that were really negative in my life and have realize that not everyone grows with you however sad that is. I am not perfect for sure but I am the type of person where I have to grow and for the past five years I have had so many growing pains in different ways. Many people stay stagnant because they are scared of growing. It is sad really. We have to evolve as human beings if not we stay stuck. Some people will resort to immature levels but we must not step down to their level. My therapist is amazing she told me I should be more kind to myself and I must admit I need to be. People will try to drag you down sadly but we must not let them. Others have issues within themselves they are projecting on to you.

Oh did I tell you my bf is fucking amazing. Lol I am really just rambling. Oh yeah I got on the waiting list for COVID-19 vaccine. Can't wait to get it.

That is it for now!
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My region is under lockdown too. It's mad. Luckily for me I have my family and friends nearby me.
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Only two submissions but that's okay! Thanks for playing! Fam!lyTimes6 wins! I'll message you!
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Terminator Mark to the rescue!
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Hey guys,

Yes you have read that right. We have brought back the chat room.

It's still a work in progress at the moment, styles and features will be added and changed of course.

This is the best time for you to give suggestions and feedback for it. Features you think should be added? What did you like the most about the previous chatroom?

Current commands
!changecol - this adjusts your name color to another random color
!trivia - this asks a random trivia question (this is very early at the moment, and definitely not complete)
!chatters - this shows who is currently in the chatroom at the moment.
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What a beautiful picture
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