The homework my therapist gave me was to be present in situations. No positive or negative judgement on any situation, just pure logic. This is very difficult, because this goes against how I approach situations by default. "Emotion" isn't the right word, but definitely through the lens of whether something is right or wrong, smart of stupid, cool or lame, etc. I need to drop all of that, and just see the situation as... just happening. This is meant to reduce the amount of pressure I put on myself to "react" to situations emotionally, and manage my stress levels.
I had to leave work yesterday, and my remote session with her was her in her office, up and ready to work, juxtaposed with me in bed, under my covers, on camera, looking at her sideways. I actually got a kick out of how I approached that therapy session.
And I guess I have to keep journaling. Well, I don't "have" to, I did this on my own, which is nice. I do feel that I have to manually bring myself to interact with others here. I promise I'm not ignoring comments or anything like that, I just don't have the mental bandwidth to do anything other than post and disappear, but I read and appreciate everyone engaging with me and commenting. I promise I will return the favor and begin engaging with the community a little bit more when I have the mental space to do so. |
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