Hello again Diary,
Anyone who knows me personally knows that I do NOT care for the Orange Man. I do not care for his character. I do not care for the way he speaks about others. I do not care for the narcissism. This man, in my opinion does not have a redeeming quality about himself. That being said, I am a blue dot in a red sea. My husband, most of my husband's family, and most of my family are Trump supporters. I do not let different political opinions affect my personal relationships, AS LONG as there is mutual respect for each other's choices. I understand that both sides can and do have compelling reasons why they think the way they do, human nature is to have free will and free thinking. I can have a conversation all day with someone who doesn't agree with me politically if they stay level headed, factual, and respectful. I try to keep the information I share factual, or at the very least if they *are* just opinions, I keep them respectful enough not to criticize anyone I know personally. I will share all day long how he's an asshole narcissist, that's fair game. What I won't share is anything calling his supporters stupid, things of that sort. (What I actually think in my own brain is between me and myself though...) I share things all over my social media all the time. Sharing on a public platform to be viewed by anyone who has access to my page is an invitation to engage on said post. That's why it was shared publicly. Comment away. What it IS NOT an invitation to do is message me personally with some bullshit.
Let me explain further.
The other day, I get a private message out of the blue from my mother. It's a video, so I watch it. It opens with a dude saying how he was asked if he supported the protests happening in LA. Goes on to explain how he does support them. He supports them because the more "they riot, break shit, and destroy their own city" is just "birthing more red voters." Okay, okay. You still have my attention. "Yall motherfuckers out there in Los Angeles are throwing a full blown motherfuckin tantrum" he says. Eh... getting alittle harsh, but I'm still engaging. Maybe there's a point to this I just haven't gotten to yet. Goes on to make jokes. Whatever. BUT THEN the video tapers down with "I'm not mad you're passionate. I'm mad you're dumb." Okaaaayyyy.
So, I responded after a couple minutes.
me: so we gotta smash the capitol's windows and chant death threats while carrying a gallows in the crowd for this to be supported by yall? You don't want to start this with me. I don't even know why you would send this to me.
mom: i thought it was funny...
me: of course you did. and you knew what you were doing sending it to me. Well, sit there and be even more disappointed in me not being a republican, because guess who is also going to be out on Saturday at a protest?
*this is where I started to really think about the video, rewatched it, thought about whether I should let it go. Then doubled down on her knowing exactly what her intentions were sending me this, knowing I do not align with her politically.*
me again: I have respected opinions within the personal sphere. Sure, I share my opinions on fb because I am allowed to, and anyone has the right to engage or not. But to send this video right to me privately for a direct response? Here it is, the direct response you want. I no longer respect your opinion. I am disappointed that you support him. I am disappointed that the woman who raised me supports someone who is EVERYTHING I was taught not to be. But, in hindsight, I guess that's to be expected when you share common ground with him and some of the distateful characteristics that cause me to be against him in the first place.
*finally, after an hour, she reads it and responds*
her: I taught you to stand up for what is right. You act like your side is taking the moral high ground when in reality they are just as bad. but you know the only people who actually believe in this country and what it stands for are the ones to get demonized
(WHATTTTTTTT TF... to be fair, I can definitely agree that both sides have bad apples. Both sides are imperfect. But to say that last part in a response to ME reacting to a video YOU sent essentially calling me and my beliefs dumb is a WILD TAKE. who is demonzing who???" anyway...
me: "you act like your side is taking the moral high ground." as you send me that video... idgaf, you lit the match, let this burn. that whole message right there is so fucking hipocritical it's astounding. Sending me that video knowing we dont agree politically isnt demonzing me??
her: yup, shut down the conversation because we dont want to hear the other side. come on, let me have it.
me: I didnt invite a conversation about it so I do not care to have one.
her: this is the whole point to open a conversation
me: no, YOU came at ME with it. I didnt invite this.
her: you did by posting the stuff you have. I just choose not to engage on facebook
me: wanna take to my public posts? want me to elaborate on these things you have in common with him? on my public posts? me posting publicly DOES NOT equate to me wanting forced into a private conversation over our differences, but force does seem to be the trend lately. so, let's go public.
her: * no answer*
*at this point, I am full steam ahead and way past irritated*
me: personally sending me a video calling this and that stupid and dumb is ENTIRELY different than me posting my opinions on my platform that don't personally attack anyone I know or call them schoolyard names. So yes, I shut this down, not because I don't want to have the conversation, but because you OPENED it with disrespect. So I do not care to have it with you. Idgaf who you are.
her: wow...
me: I purposefully try to keep my posts respectful and not resort to name calling and schoolyard attitudes when I share them. But you sending me that video just showed me all I wanted to know.
her: what... that I have a sense of humor? you are the one who blew this up and threatened to air dirty laundry that was tol to you as a mother and daughter being open with each other, got it. I have never spoken down to you for having a different opinion, I have never threatened to publicly air stuff and things you have told me, but okay. (the "dirty laundry" will not be detailed on here, but you can speculate for fun if you'd like from the context. Also, note here, that although I didnt touch on it, just last Easter she sat on the front porch and DID speak down about me with her Trump loyalist brother in front of everyone while I was easter egg hunting with the kids, she just didn't know I could hear her)
me: nah, nah, you dont get to act like I came out of nowhere with this. You thinking that video "was funny" and sending it to me privately knowing good and well I am on the side of those he is calling names is, in fact, speaking down on me. Have I ever sent anything to you up until now that was disrespectul towards your political beliefs? That wasnt having a sense of humor. That was voicing your true opinion of me and my choices under the shroud of a "BUT IT WAS FUNNY!" excuse so you can dismiss your intentions when you didnt get the response you thought you were going to get. Will I actually air the dirty laundry publicly? Probably not. But for you to spout at me "yall act like you have the moral high ground" is RICH coming from someone who *insert dirty laundry*
I never got a response after that.
So, listen. I am not a "respect your elders" type of person. I am a "respect is earned" type of person. You don't get to come at me any which way you want then try to condemn me for my responses if you don't like them. "But she's your mom! She's family!" Okay? Did that seem to matter to her at that moment? I am still confused exactly what she expected to come out of that... or even why she did it. To give her credit, most of the time she IS a peacekeeper. She does not usually escalate confict. So I'm not sure what was going through her brain to send me that, knowing I am not afraid to stand up for myself, regardless of who you are.
But that's it. The first time for me that things got volatile over politics. With my own mother, no less... *shrugs* Now that it has been a couple days and I have calmed down from the heat of the moment.... Should I have taken that low blow? Probably not. And I might apologize for it eventually. Do I regret my other responses? NOT ONE TEENY BIT.
Until next time...
xoxo, J.