So, as my days wear on and my life continues, it has become very apparent that it is a life in which most would not be able to handle if they were themselves and not me. Maybe this is why I deal with things differently then other people, for example; I know that I have someone who loves me for who I am and doesn't ask much out of me. She is amazing and I love everything about her. To the average person observing this, seems like a done deal, a perfect relationship. In my eyes however I see all the little things that could make it not work and I weigh my descions on that. I love her, but I am young. I am still young enough that I know that there's a lot more out there then a steady longterm relationship. Yes I get lonely, yes I miss the companionship, but in the end I have to do what I think is right. Its not the easiest thing for either of us, jealously of other cause many an argument. But there in lies probably one majoy issues that needs to be addressed. Its confusing and long and I don't feel like touching on it, just know its not easier; think a Catch 22.
Anyway on to other things, I get paid today and tomorrow, oh how I love money, it gets me taco bell and Buffalo Wild Wings. I am sitting here after a quiz and what a perfect time to update everyone on my exciting life! Yah!!...and moving on, excitement over.. So even though it is payday, the two jobs is wearing me down hardcore, long days and not enough sleep have me stumbling. Plus I don't have enough time to play my xbox, which that fact in and of itself is very depressing. All in all, thoughts continue, drama ensues and life continues to fling me around like a ragdoll. But always remember..