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SearchingHopeful's Diary
by SearchingHopeful

previous entry: Tired and accepting the inevitable

Good evening all

04/19/2019

This will be another interesting entry. Since its been 3 years, let me update you.

On February 28th, 2019 I married him. The BF from my last post.
The wedding was mediocre, I had been drinking all day. When the reception hit I got embarrissingly drunk. Well afterwords. At the time I was having a great time. I barely recall going to talk to individual family members to greet. Thought that was the proper thing to do?
During the wedding, I felt so amazing. I even fucked up and said "omg you said we werent doing the handwrriten kind!". I dont know how many heard. Wasnt doing the right thing though. Ignored my husband when he asked me to go to our room. (to consecrate the marriage). I was fucked up and wanted to keep having fun before ending the night. That was when I heard that I was about to have the shortest wedding ever because he was leaving. Found out he was about 15 min from the hotel.

WHAT THE FUCK. My wedding night I got informed that I had done something so wrong that 6 years was thrownaway. I still dont know what the right way to feel about it is. I know that I have few fond memories of my wedding day.

Even today, a little over 3 years later, I still have some of the same concerns that have always been there. For 9 years.

Today though marks 8 days since I have slept next to my husband.  told him I needed a break and ran to my moms house like the child I am.
 

I am way too tired at 11pm. I can bearly focus on the page. I do not belive my husband has any respect or .I'm supposed to star doing things appropriately.

 

Fuck. Login was not too difficult but I'll be back tomorrow with more stories of my relationship and hopes of it not falling apart

previous entry: Tired and accepting the inevitable

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