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Caffeine Addicted Nerd
by nerdy_bree

previous entry: Seriously Need a Break

next entry: Hippie Soul

Just One Of Those Days


Well, probably more like one of those fucking months o_0. Work has been the biggest source of just killing my desire to really do anything. It's weird though, because while I'm at work I'm set to get home and work on my "book", craft something (resin or crochet), or work out. However, as soon as I get home I'm so fucking drained that I end up watching stupid TikToks or watching Grey's Anatomy. Not exactly how I want to be spending my time away from work, but I know I've been emotionally and physically exhausted. 


Had another interaction with my coworker, Amina, and I finally had enough......again. I ended up emailing my direct manager and my store manager. I basically said that at this point I feel like I've exhausted all ways that I can resolve this without them getting involved. That the way she speaks to me, about me, to my associates, how she behaves when asked for assistance by me for a customers or because I'm self aware enough to realize she may know how to do something I don't, is extremely unacceptable and starting to create a hostile work environment. I've started to dread going to work again because I know I have to either work with her for part of my shift or my entire shift and I never know if I'm going to get the professional and nice Amina or the snippy, condescending, blank stare Amina. It took almost a week to finally have a sit down with Mario (direct manager) and Kyle (store manager) but that was partly to do with one of my associates not reporting a walkout that happened with one of her customers, Kyle was on vacation for a couple days this week, and days off for myself and Mario. We finally had a minute to sit down yesterday and talk about it. I let Kyle know that I'm not looking for her and I to become friends again, I'm looking to have a professional and respectful work relationship. If it's something that I have done, let me know and I will own it and ensure I don't do it anymore going forward; if it's her simply unable to leave her outside issues at the door and is basically taking it out on me (as well as a few other associates but I didn't mention them as they want to talk to Kyle on their own) then I will start making sure I remind myself of that and don't take it personal; if she's unaware she's coming off as a condescending smart ass, ok, I can work with that too because now I've created the chance for her to get checked by someone higher up than me and I can't be labeled a bully for standing up for myself. The fucking twilight zone entered our store after this 0_o; Amina has been friendly and professional with me since yesterday and no, they have not talked to her yet. She was even joking with me today and it was very weird but I tried to just enjoy it and follow her lead, I've found that's usually the best course of action when she's having a good day. But holy shit has it been a weird fucking 24hrs.


My Dad is starting to do better. They found out three weeks ago that he has Gillian-Barré Syndrome, it's a disorder where his immune system starts attacking his peripheral nerves. It's doesn't have a cure in the sense of "Here's this prescription and this will go away in X days" but it's considered a medium-term condition that resolves within months. From what I've read, it can take about 6 months to resolve but it didn't state if it was from the start of symptoms or from the start of taking the meds prescribed to help your body fight it. He was in the hospital for a week starting the Monday he was asked to go to the ER by his doctor to have the tests run so they wouldn't have to wait, and then he did two weeks in rehab to help with his legs since he had the neuropathy and weakness in his hands. He has like twelve weeks of occupational therapy to continue his healing, so we're headed in the right direction. It's a little tough because there isn't a set finish line because it's not a curable condition with medication, so I know that adds some extra stress to my mom. I got her a little spa kit for Mother's Day, so she can try and have some moments at home to relax but I know she needs like a real spa day at a spa and just get away for a few hours. Dad's been a good patient for his doctors and for Mom. He is probably feeling guilty that Mom has had to take on taking care of him as she continues to work but he also knows that Mom wouldn't be any other way. He even apologized to me for "having to see me like this" when I went to hang out with him so Mom felt comfortable to leave and so I could have some time with him. I almost started crying because it just really brought it home that he wasn't his usual strong, sure personality. I managed to keep myself from doing that and told him the truth, that he has absolutely nothing to apologize for. I feel bad that I haven't had a chance to get back out there but I check in with them a lot more regularly than I use to and I'm hoping to go out there this week to see them. 


Hubby and I celebrated our 5 year wedding (and 11 years together) anniversary a couple weeks ago. We got tattoos and then ended up going to Reno. His Aunt isn't doing well, she has cancer and she got covid a few months back, which just really did a number on her health. She's maybe a buck five soaking wet now. Plus Nick's(hubby) grandma is like 83 or something, so she's not exactly going to be around for long. Kind of messed up to say, but a reality we are having to face. We did manage to carve out time for just us while we were there. We spent two nights at the Peppermill Resort and just gambled and relaxed. We went to the steak house in the resort for our anniversary Friday night and had a delicious meal. Saturday we had breakfast with his grandma and then went back to the resort for a nap. We got some hot tub time in and then gambled some more. It was very low key and simple, just the way we like it. 


Well, that's all that I can focus enough to put down and deal with. I have the anniversary of Papa's passing and his first heavenly birthday coming up, so I've been trying to get myself emotionally ready for that. Thank God I have Nick to help me through it. Have a good one, y'all. I also put a few pictures from our trip.

previous entry: Seriously Need a Break

next entry: Hippie Soul

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