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Discussion Forums » Thread Graveyard
More to love!?
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13 Jun 2009, 17:18
Pamela
Post Count: 24

I'm fucking pissed off. I am BEYOND pissed off. I am BEYOND fuming.

There is a "More to Love" thread on another website I go to. What does "More to Love" mean to you? It means someone who is carrying a little (or a lot) of extra weight, correct? Hense the "More to Love" fucking thread title.

I go onto the picture board and ohmyfuckinggod, what do i see? TWO, yes TWO regular users of that damn fucking thread, with full length pictures of themselves, and they have FUCK ALL ON THEM. They're like fucking TOOTH PICKS. And people expect people like ME who ARE obese, who ARE fat, to fucking support people like that?

Get the fuck over yourself.

I am SO angry over this. I am FUMING. Infact, i fought FUCKING HARD for a sub-forum for people who are obese/overweight who suffer with COED/BED, and having thought on it - fuck no do i support it. No way should a sub-forum be made if it attracts those sort of people. No fucking way would i ever, EVER, talk beside these sort of people.

Do you know a size 10/12/14 is regarded as overweight/obese on that thread? Sick or what?

They don't have to fucking worry about having to cover up upper arms, they don't have to worry about sitting in chairs with arms in fear of either a) breaking it or b) it digging immensly into your hips, they don't have to worry about fearing leaving the fucking house because there's so many judgemental bullying people in the world who will take advantage of your vulnerability and use it to there advantage, they don't have to fucking stop doing things because of there size, things they once LOVED doing. They don't have to worry about misfitting clothing and not being able to walk into normal high street shops because they don't stock your fucking size. They have no limitations on fucking clothes.

Fuck them. I don't give a shit who i offend. You have no fucking idea what it is to actually BE BIG, i'm not talking a "little extra baggage" (which is seemingly invisable on 90% of the people who post on the fucking board), i'm talking REALLY overweight/obese/morbidly obese. Do you fucking know how it feels to be told a size 12 (regardless of fucking height - fuck BMI - they're a load of BOLLOCKS) is considered overweight? Just saying that brought bile to my throat. It actually makes me want to stick my fingers down my throat and bring up every morsel of food i have just eaten because i feel like a fat disgusting ugly cow.

Do you remember when you were at school, the skinny girls would go "Omgz, im so fats, look at this! *grabs invisable fat*"? Do you remember how fucking annoying it was when you actually DID have fat on you to hear someone say that? Do you know how fucking demeaning that is? You haven't a fucking clue what it's like to be obese so don't you dare sit and say you know what it's like or pretend you are. Don't use your fucked up mindset about your figure fuck other people up, that's WRONG, fucking wrong.

FUCK i would never get to a size 12 regardless of how hard i tried! My build and height wouldn't ALLOW me to be that size, and it wouldn't be HEALTHY for me to be that size. And i'm sat here listening to peoples shit on RYL saying they're fat at a size 12? Go fuck yourself is all i say.

I am so pissed off at the images i have just seen you have no idea, no fucking idea. I don't give two hoots who i've offended, i don't give two shits if this entry is broadcasted all over the internet, think what ever the fuck you want of me but that's my views and i will stand by them. The average UK size is a 16/18 regardless of height, women are BORN to have curves, women are BORN to have fat on them, we aren't BORN to be skin and bone.

It makes me sick that people post on that site how overweight/obese they are, then go on to post a full length photograph of themselves where there legs don't even touch at the thighs. Yehhh you're fucking huge, my fucking ass.

Eurgh. It makes me sick. It's making me more and more determined to wean myself off that website because of the behaviour of some members. That site isn't a fucking support site, it makes you WORSE. It shatters any self esteem/confidence you ever had left, it fucks with your already mentally fucked up mind. It's a fucking big bomb about to explode. Too many morons on there to bother with. Too many bullies i can't be arsed to contend with. People reel you in pretending to be your friend, only to backstab you and agree with the person who is bullying you on the fucking thread. Yeh. Cheers for having my back mate.
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13 Jun 2009, 17:26
[danielle electra.]
Post Count: 62
I know EXACTLY what you mean. In middle school/beginning of high school, I was made fun of ALL the time for my weight [I used to be a size 16 or 18] & it irritated me to no end when a toothpick bitch would say she was fat. My friend who I've known for a while, she's wayy skinnier than me & always has been [I'm a size 7 now] & EVERYTIME I'm near her, she talks about how fat she is -- she's never been as fat as me/used to be & she's always been relatively skinny. Because of her obliviousness to what she's actually saying, I don't really like being around her anymore. It just makes me so pissed.
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13 Jun 2009, 17:27
[danielle electra.]
Post Count: 62
& definitely go tell those other people in that website to FUCK OFF & go crazy on them!
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13 Jun 2009, 18:43
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Just because our average size is that, it doesn't mean that is the size we should be! Apart from extremely tall women 16/18 is over weight not obese unless you are very short, you don't see naturally over weight wild animals, it is purely indulgence in humans that causes us to be over weight. Just as in dogs the rule is, you shouldn't be able to see the ribs, but you should be able to feel them, it applies to us when checking for a healthy weight.

If I was a UK 12 I would be fat, I'm five foot.

Weight gain is a very recent thing, 50 years ago when people had limited food, but were the most healthy in recent history the average weight was a good 9stone 10lbs, now we are at our unhealthiest and the average weight for a woman is 10 stone 3lbs. Our waist size has gone from 27 to 34.
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13 Jun 2009, 21:36
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
It's not purely over indulgence. Yes, plenty of obese people most probably do lead unhealthy lifestyles, but it has been proven time and time again that a lot of it is down to genes, or other problems such as PCOS, which I have. If I hadn't been diagnosed with it so young and been placed on medication, I think it's pretty safe to say I would have been quite fat by now.

The official statistic is 10% of women suffer from PCOS but there are theories that many more have it, which is fueling the obesity epidemic.
I'm not making excuses for them, but you can't place everyone in the same group.

You also seem to be saying that in the past there were no overweight people. Um... ok. If that's what you believe. You obviously haven't studied much history.

I know girls who are 5 foot and size 12. They are not fat. You wouldn't look at them and go OH MY GOSH YOU FAT FUCKER! Sure their (flawed) BMI might be a bit higher than normal, but they're not 'fat'.
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13 Jun 2009, 21:41
Transit
Post Count: 1096
I've seen my sister (sorry sis!) as a size ten and yes I would look at them and be able to see that they are fat. I also haven't said that in the past there were no obese people, so I'm not sure why you are saying that. If people with PCOS eat a correct diet and ensure they undertake a normal amount of physical activity, they do not have weight problems. All weight is calories in v calories out.
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14 Jun 2009, 04:08
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
I have PCOS and whilst it does contribute to my weight and an inability to EASILY maintain it, it is certainly able to be managed and can be kept down. It is harder, but it is do-able.
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13 Jun 2009, 22:26
Doll Face
Post Count: 33
Actually, being obese or overweight goes back several centuries.
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13 Jun 2009, 22:29
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Which has nothing to do with my post.
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13 Jun 2009, 19:13
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Just because they're less fat than YOU doesn't mean they shouldn't care about what they look like. They didn't do it to make YOU feel bad, they did it because they have a low self-esteem and/or want to look better.

Overweight does not mean "healthy" - that's why it's called OVERweight. You can call yourself healthy and overweight at the same time, but don't think they're the same thing.
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13 Jun 2009, 21:11
« Krisstah »
Post Count: 127
Well... being considered obese myself.. part of me feels i should be agreeing with this.. and i kind of do.. however, i also know a great deal of girls who were very large, lost it all but never lost that big girl mentality, and when they look in the mirror.. maybe there isnt any fat that they should be concerned about but they see it.

I technically would say that them posting those pictures would be accurate too if they think they should be even skinnier then they are, that would lead to anorexia, and that would cause problems, so support for them might actually help their self image.
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13 Jun 2009, 22:08
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
I have to agree with Transit, at least in part. BMI is based on height and weight... so if you're short and a size 12 you could be overweight. However, I don't see why any size 10 girl (I'm a size 10) would consider herself overweight or obese.

Still, I don't see why it bothers you so much that slim girls want to watch their weight too. I'm a size 10 but lately I've noticed some extra weight on my face and stomach (and my jeans are getting quite tight!), so I'm eating more carefully so as to get back to my usual weight. My usual weight gives me a perfectly healthy BMI of 21-22. It is not unhealthy, or disgusting, or unnatural. That's just my shape (plus I don't want to develop the health problems associated with obesity, like diabetes, which I'm already at higher risk of because of the fact my extra weight goes onto my stomach). I don't see why it should bother someone else so much.

The average UK dress size is a 16. This is unsurprising because in the UK at present we have a huge obesity problem. The fact that it is average does not mean that being a size 16 is healthy. Being obese has many many associated health problems. Women are meant to have curves, yes, but we are not meant to be overweight. If we were, then our bodies wouldn't be suffering as a result.

I do also have to wonder, if you got this angry and aggressive on the thread... if that is the reason people were 'bullying' you. Why don't you try and calm down and go back another time, and try and explain to people, gently, why it is that you're feeling hurt? Because at the moment it sounds like you hate anyone who's less than a size 14, and that's not really fair (but then maybe that's not what you meant to imply).
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14 Jun 2009, 04:12
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
I think your issues stem a lot further than a website. You seem angry at people who aren't as big as you.
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22 Jun 2009, 03:29
Bic please!
Post Count: 1
I know exactly how you feel! Thanks for having the guts to say it!
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13 Jun 2009, 17:41
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
I think that there are a lot of judgmental people out there, and yes, it's annoying when sticks come along trying to find sympathy. And yet sometimes you have to recognize that these girls are being pressured by the media to be thinner. Just like the big girls. I find it sad that thinner people think they need to lose more. That size 12 is considered plus-size. Does that little morsel make me want to purge myself of MY delicious food because of someone elses' opinion? No.

What you need to realize personally is that you should be above the media, and that's hard. Don't feel you need to change yourself based off of someone's mindset that knows NOTHING about you. Is it tough to be big? Sure, I will agree that it is. Frankly, it's tough to EXIST under the media's stipulations of what is PERFECT though. Nobody is perfect. Breathe. Whatever you do, do for you. You've stated that it won't be healthy for you to be a size 12 because of your body type; then DON'T be a size 12. Be what is healthy for YOU and don't care what they say. Hell, a size 6 isn't what it used to be anymore.

Totally agree with the chair arm though. Fucking HATE chairs with arms.
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13 Jun 2009, 17:44
.youll.carry.me.
Post Count: 53
Couldnt have said it better myself!
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13 Jun 2009, 17:53
-kay
Post Count: 268
AGREED!
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13 Jun 2009, 18:07
LittleUn
Post Count: 22
Aw yes! Because YOU are the leading authority on what constitutes as obese and what doesn't!

Can someone only feel fat if YOU tell them they are so?
Seriously! Who are YOU to tell people what they should feel about their weight? If we are talking American sizes then a size 14 is not small! A size 14 should feel free to post on a "more to love" thread if they choose. I am a size 14 and I feel there is plenty of me to love. How dare you make me feel like a jerk for saying so.

I'm sorry that you feel anyone under a size 20 should be banned from a forum that on the surface aims to preach love and acceptence. 'Let's gang up on everyone under a size 20!' NOT cool.

And the irony here is, there seems less brain cells to love.
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13 Jun 2009, 18:33
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I'm pretty sure she's talking about UK sizes: 'The average UK size is a 16/18'.

So a UK 12 is a US 8, UK 14 is a US 10 etc.

You're being rather fucking harsh anyway. She has posted a good thread, over issues I am sure a lot of people have had to deal with. Don't insult her thread just because you don't agree.

She's not ganging up on them, she's talking about girls who are a UK size 10 (US 6) saying they are fat. That is a joke and those people should be vilified for it.
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13 Jun 2009, 21:17
« Krisstah »
Post Count: 127
My mother is a size 10 and shes got plenty of body fat on her body that she could lose, she wears big baggy sweaters to hide her stomach and love handles, so i wouldn't really say size 6 is a joke, im sure they have some body fat too. i mean, its only 2 sizes smaller.
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13 Jun 2009, 21:23
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
UK size 10 or US size 10? UK is smaller. When I mentioned size 6, I was saying it's the same size; a UK size 10 is size 6 in the US.
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13 Jun 2009, 21:24
« Krisstah »
Post Count: 127
my mother is a US size 10. -- so i was basically comparing her to the US size 6.
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14 Jun 2009, 06:51
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
How can you say she is being harsh? Seriously? Did you not read the attitude of the O.P? I think this Amber person got the nail on the head.
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14 Jun 2009, 17:33
j'dore hailey&ryan
Post Count: 70
i agree with you amber!

I'm a size 14 and I'm disgusted with myself.. MY ideal size is a size 7... but just b.c someone is smaller then you doesn't make it right to get all pissed b.c they aren't as big as you... sounds like need to get over yourself!!
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13 Jun 2009, 18:30
.love.struck.
Post Count: 492
The media and hollywood is what causes people to get these false misconceptions on what overweight is. I do think it's sad that women who are a size 12 are considered fat. If we could afford personal trainers and nutrionist then of course we would all we in pretty good shape, but that is not the case. To me "more to love" is bigger than a size 12-14-16. People are crazy. That is like me saying I am fat because I wear a 7 or 9 in jeans. Yep, I'm soooooooo fat because I can grab some skin on my side.
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