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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: Finally Going To Write It...

We Are Alive...


I have been away...Doing some real life soul searching. And frankly I am going back and forth from anger to despair and in between I found hope. It is hard to see, its a streak of light through a thick blackness, but it is there. And it is alive and well regardless of how I feel. We all go by feelings. If we feel terrible, its easier to speak out of anguish and desperation rather than optimism, and hope of the future. First of all, I have made many many many mistakes in my lifetime, and I am the first in line to admit this. But to those of you who have tried to bully and intimidate me? Shame on you.  I have never tried to do anything on here except help people, by telling them that I believe them, they arent nuts, and there is hope!!! Yes I failed in so many ways, but the thing is, most of my mistakes are because of blood and brain, njuries, yep I said that. I have zero malicious intent towards anyone on here, and God knows that, and my soul does know it as well too. I am surprised that I have been able to be as intact and levelheaded as I have been, considering. And if you want loyalty and respect, you have to be loyal and respectful. If you want people to tell you the truth, you need to be truthful, yourself. If you want absolute truth, you must have clean hands and truthful lips, without deciet. I have made transgressions, and repented with bitter tears before God.  The wrong kind of fear of God is afraid that God will hurt us; the right kind is afraid that we will hurt God. And shame on those who present God as a sledgehammer to crush the already broken. Its a shame. Deep crisis. In need of the REAL God's deliverance. Great stress, great pressure. Pressing out the bad oil. Squeezing out the bad from the bones. Those who have ears to hear.......Make the TREE GOOD, and there will be good fruit. We need to not spend so much time on regretting the past, ( bad fruit ) A GOOD TREE CANNOT PRODUCE BAD FRUIT. That doesnt mean we are throwaways because we have some bad fruit. We just need pruining, not destruction. Stop scaring the little leaves. We are important too. A HYPOCRITE IS NOT SOMEONE WHO HAS A STANDARD AND FAILS TO MEET IT, LIKE ME. A hypocrite is a play ACTOR, who puts huge burdens and expectations on others, and would never in a million aeons lift a little finger to do what they are telling others to do. That is not me. I am trying with all my heart to do the right things, and their decaying, moth eaten rottenness is not going to stop me from doing what it is right. It is about time, that I do. “I have no dependence but God; I trust him alone. Should he even destroy my life by this affliction, yet will I hope that when he has tried me, I shall come forth as gold. '''  Also? The friends of Job are everywhere.  HUGGLES. <3

previous entry: Finally Going To Write It...

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