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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: Rose.

next entry: Goodbye...



I have had such a growing longing for you that it is threatening to consume me like a volcano which cannot hold all of the lava inside of it anymore. I cant do anything about it so I will do what I do know how to do and that is to write, and hope this memory will hold us both over for now. 

I remember the first time with you. When we had danced around the subject, making jokes, making smiles, laughing, then both glancing at each other when we thought the other wasnt looking to see the reaction on our faces. We always WERE looking though. 

Finally I had given up and I didnt think it was funny anymore, so I turned away from you and you grabbed my hand and said wait wait, Trish. You pulled me towards you and I actually heard your breath intake sharply like you couldnt catch your breath for a split second. Then you cupped my jaw with both your hands and quickly moved in to finally give me the kiss I had been so aching for. Our lips met in a kind of symbiotic push and pull, give and take, and I sucked your bottom lip into my mouth, as my tongue ran along your top lip a second later. 

You are different than anyone else I have ever been with, in every single way but even down to your kisses because you LOOKED AT ME the entire time, and it was not even weird. With eyes like yours I could get lost forever in the ocean of you. And I have, beloved. I have become so lost in your sea. The depths have no end and I could spend the rest of my life getting to know you and it would never uncover the vast treasures you have inside your heart. So for tonight, I will settle for opening one treasure chest and diving into just one of your many bodies of water. I love you. 

I took you into my arms, and kissed you again, harder this time, more urgent, and your hands ran down my back, and pulled my shirt over my head before I could even think straight. It was no doubt who was in charge, even from the beginning. Even as much as I wanted to fight against it, it was impossible. I was totally and completely, without reservation...Yours...And I was just aching for you to d, take me and make me yours for real. And that is exactly what you did. From head to toe you let me know just how much you wanted me too, your walls came down, and even as I wrapped my legs around you and felt you thrust into me hard as you possibly could, I knew something had changed in you too. You finally were willing to expose all of your darkness to me, even in the form of intense anger in the form of sexual gratification. And I was totally fine with you taking out the horror of your life on me, to use me to get yourself off, thats what I thought you were going to do. And you did. BUT, all of a sudden even with the violence of your kisses and the sweet torment of your thrusts, your touch on me and in me was so tender, it shocked me to my very core. You are the perfect balance of hate and love, and you know exactly how to use each to both give and recieve the love you shared with me that night. I could go on and detail every moment of wildness from that night but I just want to remember the fact that by the time we were finished, both were exhausted and yet never wanted to untwine from each other. 

You are my forever and happily ever after and I will stop at nothing to keep it that way. I adore you my ocean eyes. And I will do whatever it takes to finally make you mine. To be yours. Forever. Just like it was ordained before we ever came here. 

previous entry: Rose.

next entry: Goodbye...

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