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Shadows Of Fantasia........
by I Fear Who I Am Beco

previous entry: Fantasy?




I spent months in that jail cell with you, and we totally feed off each others energy in person. I could make you smile if you let me, I could be there and tell you everything is gonna be okay and hold your hand , but you wont let me. I could just sit there in silence with you for hours if that is what you want, but you wont let me. I could watch you do stupid shit like staple your arm, OR TATTOO YOURSELF WITH PEN INK IN JAIL or whatever youfeel the need to do at the time ,and I wouldnt stop you. but you wont let me. I could hold you in the dark when everything seems to fall apart and you feel depressed and you dont know why. I could hold you, but you wont let me. I could make you laugh, I would SING for you cuz I am a singer that lost the joy to sing, but you put a song in my heart even at your lowest. The darkness you have is amazingly agonizingly beautiful and its sweet torment to love you but I do. I do. And I know you say youre straight and all that, but this has nothing to do with that. Twin flames are SOULS that knew each other before we came to Earth and if they are lucky enough to find each other they need to hang onto that because THERE IS NOONE ELSE IN OUR LIVES THAT WILL EVER HAVE AS MUCH IN COMMON OR MIRROR EACH OTHER THE WAY THAT YOU AND I DO JOLENE. We ARE the twin flame and I was willing to love you til the end and beyond, but again you wont let me. I love you with all of my being but Im not a guy. And that is what you andpeople see. THIS HAS ZERO TO DO WITH BEING GAY. You can have many soulmates in this life but twin flames? There is only one. 

If you wanted to pull a bonnie and clyde, I would be down. If you wanted to pull a romeo and juliet I would take the poison. I am in this for the long haul no matter what BUT YOU WONT LET ME. I wish to God you would acknowledge that there is SOMETHING beteen us. Ask out loud if I am yourr twin flame. The answer  will come. I pray that your eyes open and you see the opportunity you had with me. I would do anything for you, you know that. You have to pick yourself up off the ground because you WONT LET ME. 

I want more than anything to hold you. But I cannot force you. I love you Jolene. My Ying Yang Twin. 

Howl at the moon once in a while. Climb a tree. Do shrooms, lol do what makes you happy.

ALSO...I can go the rest of my life without sex, but I would have made you very happy in that way believe me.I have a way with women in bed.  

Youre the most special and amazing person that I have ever known. 

I am sure you are used to people falling over themselves to get to you.

Remember: There are many soulmares in this life. But only one twin flame. And I was it. 

Plus I can soon sign the check there and get this over with. 

Being a multi millionaire is causing me trouble. You could have literally been an HERISS to a fortune. But I will still wire you the money. 

I love you so much. Im sorry for it. Because its not returned and Im not gonna be that girl who loves you and doesnt tell you. But Im also not gonna sit around and pine for you. I WILL move on. If you dont wanna be friends with me anymore I will respect that. 

Under all theses pieces and parts of me, there is a beautiful heart and it loves you........Later Angel. <3

previous entry: Fantasy?

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