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I am so sorry that you were made to do that. I can understand how difficult it has been to come to terms with it and to forgive youself. I hope you soon find the ablity to give yourself that forgiveness.
I am sad that you are leaving. I will miss you and the friendship that was blossoming. I hope you find some way to stay in touch. You have my email address and know where I am here and on Opendiary.
~ Great big hugs ~
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[just del]
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the thought is healing in itself. I feel emptied of it today.
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[ursamajor]
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its such a moving and sad event , that i have just got to come to terms with here. I appreciate your support and understanding. not many can do that.
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[ursamajor]
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Hugs i wish i had words that would help
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[Shar]
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*hugs* It's not easy being placed in that situation, I know from experience as you already know. But to be put into it twice must have been hell. You aren't a murderer honey. You were very young and had very little choices.
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[Greta Garbage ]
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Life gets so fucking complicated at times. I am sometimes tempted to just cut and run but even that is noy as straight forward as it seems. I think when I retire the temptation will be even stronger and I might succumb.
I hope you soon find a place where you can be more at peace with your situation.
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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I doubt if you will be sending this one! Why do relationships have to be so bloody complicated.
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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Will you send this, or something like it, to her?
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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Somehow I missed this entry. I have no trouble dealing with it. Physical age tends to be a fairly meaningless thing to me. Except that my body does not work quite as well as it once did.
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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I guess it shows that intelligence and morals are not related
~ hugs ~
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[just del]
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Wow! Well done for being daring.
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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I have become disillusioned with church over the last few years and haven't been forover a year. My beliefs have changed a lot too, having become majorly less fundamental. Whether this is to accommodate my behaviour or due to examination of what I believe and why, I'm not sure.
I have added you as a friend on Opendiary.
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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del, i am starting to think im selfish. but on the other hand...
and i dont like hurting people either. but some are hurting me...
do you have a young soul then, del ? I do. maybe too young. Mr James says I am like a child. I feel like it inside, funny.
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[ursamajor]
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There are many times when I wished I just lived alone and f everyone else. Maybe a selfish feeling like maybe yours is. However it is our inherent lack of selfish ness that mabe keeps us where we are. I know that sometimes being more selfish would be good for me but I don't like hurting people.
It's funny how some people's souls age at a different rate than there bodies. Some people seem to have old souls at a young age whereas other people's souls stay young. I hope mine stays, as Bob Dylan says, forever young.
~ Hugs ~
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[just del]
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I love all you medical people that give of your time and resources to help those who would not otherwise get help. You have pricked my conscience to help more than I do, even if it is only to give more generously.
~ Thankyou hugs~
ps. If you want to delve deeper into the enigma that is Derek, I have a diary on OpenDiary called 'just d' that goes back 9 years. If you do happen to go there, let me know your name there so I can add you to my friends list so that you can read all my entries. But be beware as a lot of my early entires are adult stories and cybersex transcripts as I was going through a particular phase in my life.
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[just del]
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yes !
I think she is a bit of both. and an age difference brings a set of problems of its own that I have not been able to talk about here yet, but its coming.
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[ursamajor]
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Bums around on the beach and goes to full moon parties and paints.
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[just del]
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My brother spends most of his time in Thailand
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[just del]
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