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ා Journal of a Dreamer ා
by Miss Dreamer

previous entry: Dentist Day

next entry: Inner Turmoil

Rambles

06/02/2014

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Rambles
MONDAY
2nd June 2014, 4.48 PM.

Hello, reader.

You know that feeling after having an examination and the term break comes? That "I have no life" feeling? The time when one spends one's time in front of rthe computer or lazing about endlessly with no real purpose? I think I may be going through that as I always do after every examination, unfortunately. The feeling to do a little studying nags at me sometimes but I brush it off with a tinge of guilt. (It doesn't help that my supposed study table is clattered up with stuff again.) I can't really think of an idea for a fanfic to write on FFN and I'm still too chicken to get back to my role plays at DCF. I accidentally slept the entire morning away and woke up feeling upset with myself for wasting all that precious time (which I would have used up with the computer, anyway).

I just read a book, though. It's Anything But Typical by Nora Raleigh Baskin. It's a really good, insightful story about an autistic boy going through his life, trying to understand us neurotypicals. It was really refreshing and also in first-person, which made me admire the way he thought - so simple, so true. What is it like to be autistic? I wonder myself. Yes, one with autism would probably struggle with social life but the way autism makes one think...I think it's beautiful. However, to be painfully honest, I'm not sure if I can stand autism since I love to talk and people with autism don't seem to talk much. Then again, their way of understanding is unique, unlike most.

Sometimes, I wonder if life is just a dream, especially now. Is this real? Why does time go by so fast? Why am I who I am? Ugh, it's hard to portray thoughts and questions. Sometimes, I wish life could be like, I don't know, maybe Fairytail or MLP:Fim or TF2...or maybe just remain the way it is. Despite the fun we may experience if we were to be in those...dimensions, there are downsides too. If we were in Fairytail, we'd probably have to worry about Team Natsu landing us in trouble all the time. If we were in MLP:Fim...I can't think of many downsides, unless you're one of those people who hate pastel-coloured ponies singing songs out of the blue all the time. If we were in TF2, then obviously we'd have to worry about getting blown up, shot at, and set on fire. And being around a bunch of killing psychopaths who deep down probably have good hearts. If we were in Mobius, we'd have to worry about the same old cycle: Eggman approaches Sonic, evil plan initiates, Sonic beats up Eggman and saves the day. Repeat.

Fortunately and unfortunately, we do not live in such worlds. Those worlds were created from imagination (though I can't help but wonder if BLU team or the Mane Six or Team Natsu are truly out there. A kid can have dreams, you know!) which resides in our brain which was given by God so technically He created them through us, really.

[Don't get off-track...] ((I thought I already was?))

I say fortunately because of the downsides I stated three paragraphs ago. I also say unfortunately because the real world can be harsh. All kinds of people live in it - greedy people, angry people, and perhaps even evil people. Then again, there are good people - generous people, kind people, honest people. Loyal people? I'd say that's in a grey area. Loyal people could be assistants to power-hungry (and secretly evil) governments (just an example here) or it could also mean people who are committed to a good cause. Yeah, it actually has two meanings if you think about it.

[Wait, why are you even rambling about this kind of stuff?]

I just want to write something! Create something! I can't draw or animate and I can just do some basic programming on Scratch! I can't just pick up a pencil and paper and draw something awesome on the spot like my brother!

[Why not, exactly?]

I can't draw for cake. Duh.

[Don't you mean toffee?]

Yeah, yeah, whatever...

[Besides, it's your own fault for lazing around.]

Hey, I didn't laze around 24/7! Can I help it if my study table is full of junk?

[...]

[...]

Okay, that was a dumb question...

Thanks for reading!
"Lazybug is a horrible disease. Don't ever catch it." - Admiral Squirrel
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This is my Journal, where I will pour out my views, opinions, and thoughts. If you don't agree with any of those, well, I cannot tell you what to do but I ask you to please be polite when commenting. Thank you and have a nice day. :3

previous entry: Dentist Day

next entry: Inner Turmoil

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Everyone on the autism spectrum is different - some of us talk way too much!

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