So me and David have now been separated for 4 months now. I'm glad. We're finally able to have a civil conversation. *Most of the time*. I told him I might let Waylon stay the night with him sometime soon but I'm still not sure. I guess we'll have to see how everything goes. I'm still talking to Jacob. He's very sweet. In other news I think I've gained like 30 pounds since being seperated from David. I think part of it is depression even tho I'm taking meds for it. I just feel like....I dunno. Like I'm just too exhausted to get up. I have no clue what the fuck is wrong with me or why I feel the way I do. Half the time I don't even know what I feel. Aggravated? Angry? Sad? I dunno. I'm just exhausted on feeling anything if I'm being honest. I like the way I feel numb sometimes. I dunno, probably sounds stupid I know. Sometimes I just dont wanna talk about what I'm feeling. I don't want to feel anything. Fuck I dunno. I'm confused as fuck anymore, along with exhaustion. I just sleep most of the time. Can't bring myself to get up and move. Or care to move. Like, I know I'm gaining weight but I don't have the motivation to get off my ass and do something about it. I've turned into a lazy fuck who doesn't care about anything I think. I never thought separation would have me feeling...this strange. I dunno.