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It's been a long time!
by ~Just the 3 of Us~

previous entry: I am so overwhelmed

next entry: I am at my wits end

I don't even know where to begin



I really don't even know where to begin. I will try to keep this entry in some semblance of order but I have so many things just running crazy through my head that this might be hard to follow. I apologize in advance! Our trip to NH was a bust thanks to J's ex-wife (his divorce was final on November 16th - YAY!!!). A few weeks ago, his ex-wife sent me a message through facebook. I was floored on several levels because I did not know that she knew who I was and I was surprised that she even had the balls to send me the type of message that she did. It's always great when your boyfriend's ex sends a message that starts out with "I hope you're having fun with my husband". Ugh!! The basic gist of the message was a J bashing session and I knew right away that it was all lies and that she was expressing her hurt and anger at being "dumped" basically by trying to sabotage our relationship. It wasn't going to happen but I have to admit that it gave me a moment's pause/hesitation about what she was saying. I just needed to walk away from the message and rationalize the situation and put myself in her shoes to realize that she's still hurt and angry that J had filed for divorce and that it was about to become final. J and I talked about it right away and he knew that I had a moment's doubt but we worked through it just fine. Unfortunately, she was not only "harassing" me, she's also been harassing which J's dad, which really pisses me off. His dad is sick (some kind of cancer, I can't remember specifically what it is) and he is undergoing chemotherapy treatments and trying to work through all that (mostly alone). J's ex has been hounding him about J and his dad got upset with him because he does not feel that J handled the situation in the best way possible. And maybe J didn't, but his ex has no right to involve his dad in any of this...but she's young and immature so I guess it's not that unusual! But she began "stalking" his dad's house by driving by daily on her way to and from work (which is apparently out of her way) and therefore his dad suggested that we not come out for the holiday. To be honest, that really pissed me off because as most of you know I am much too old to play petty, stupid games and I do not like immature bullshit, which is what I felt this was in a nutshell! lol Instead, we used the money we would have spent on the trip to go to the Wisconsin Dells and stay at my favorite resort which has 4 indoor water parks (only 3 were open) and for the most part it was a good time! Henry was a bit difficult to handle at times but he had a good time. We went up on Monday night and came back on Thanksgiving day.

Unfortunately, there was a major blowup with my mother before we left. :( For whatever reason, J's credit card would not work with the resort...he worked with his cc company and they could not determine any reason why it would not work. So, I came up with a solution. If J would make my car payment, I would pay for the remaining resort charges after the deposit (it worked out evenly). J made the payment on 11/15 (it was due on 11/18) and he received confirmation that the payment was submitted as an overnight ACH on 11/16. On Monday afternoon, I received a call at work from my mother. She was her usual bitchy self and didn't even bother to say hi. The first words out of her mouth were "I see you didn't make the car payment". I should note here quickly that the loan is in her name as she could get a much better rate than I ever could and I have been making the payments all along. I of course told her that the payment was made on 11/15. She screamed at me "no you didn't!" and I said "yes I did". You can see where this is going. I finally told her that I was not getting into this with her while I was at work (I was pretty much screaming at her myself at this point because there is nothing that I hate more than being accused of "lying" which I was not!!). Let me also say that unlike other members of my family, I refuse to let her walk all over me and will often end conversations with her when she is being completely unreasonable (which seems to be often these days! :(). Plus, I was being completely unprofessional at work which was pissing me off even more. I immediately called J and got his VM and left a less than nice message that said simply "you need to call me now!". I then get a call from my sister-in-law because, of course, my mother called her after I hung up on her. I explained to my SIL that the payment was made on the 15th and I was working on getting the details about the payment itself. After that, my mother started blowing up my phone, calling me every 10 fucking minutes!! I refused to take any of her calls because I was not going to get into another pissing contest until I had more information regarding the payment. Mind you, I needed to rush home from work, pack up the car and pick up Henry from school so that we could get on the road to the Dells. My phone transcribes VM's into text messages so I was able to "read" every message my mother left and let me tell you they were less than cordial. She was demanding that I bring the payment to her that night and started making threats about repossessing the car. I had no intention of going to her house and giving her anything as the payment had already been MADE and I did not have the funds at the point to make another payment! When I got home, J had printed off the "proof of payment" which I took over to my SIL house so that she could give my mother any information necessary to get this resolved (plus my brother has power of attorney at my mom's bank). I then turned off my phone and went on vacation. I am thankful that my SIL was trying to play Switzerland in this whole thing and told me to just go on vacation and have a good time!

I called my brother on Thursday morning to find out what the plan was for the day, especially since my mother was to be there as well. I was informed that she insisted she would be on her best behavior but I still was not looking forward to the dinner. She was fine I guess - she just ignored both me and J. Right before we decided to head back across the street to our house, I asked my mother what time I needed to pick her up on Saturday to take her to the Naval Base to get her pills. She very snidely "informed" me that I was to be at her house the next morning at 8:30 am to take her to the bank. If I never mentioned it before, I also despise being commanded to do something. Especially when it is done so rudely. I informed her that I was not able to make it right at 8:30 as I would still have Henry until later in the morning. She told me to bring him along and basically said "if you know what's good for you, you'll be there at 8:30". I told her "good luck with that" and left. The next morning, my phone was completely dead. J put it on the charger and I turned it on shortly after 10am. Surprisingly, I only had 2 messages from her. We got to her house about 10:30 or so and then it really got ugly. We were loudly "discussing" the situation and Henry came in and put his little hands up to each of our faces and said we needed to stop yelling. My mother actually told my 4.5 year old to go in the other room and "shut up". I told her that we don't use those words and to stop being nasty to Henry, he didn't do anything. What I really wanted to say was "don't tell my kid to shut up you fucking bitch!!!!!". We finally got to the bank about 11:30 or 11:45 and spent over an hour there and got NOTHING resolved, which is exactly what I knew would happen. I did of course get the loan officer to tell my mother REPEATEDLY that there is a 10 day grace period and that she has NEVER been charged a late fee, which she is always lying to me about (out of 2 years of payments, ONE payment was a single day late and she has never been charged any late fees but she insists that she's been charged, even when the payment was made early). On the drive home, it got even uglier in the car. She started to make snide, vicious comments about J (who she's never even TALKED to) and going on and on about shit she knows nothing about and I finally snapped. I basically called her a stuck-up, psychotic bitch and that she just needed to shut the fuck up because I was DONE listening to the fucking bullshit. Let's just say that I really want nothing more to do with my mother ever again and she can basically jump off a fucking cliff and die. Will I get over this? Maybe. Will I forget? Never. So, J is now waiting for his cc company to resolve the issue with the "missing" payment and reimburse his payment. When that happens, we can then repay my mother for the payment she was "forced" to make to keep the loan current (because I overpay every month, she only had to make a 1/2 payment to keep it current so we really don't owe her very much).

On the job front, I had 2 interviews a few weeks ago and made it all the way to the final round on one of the jobs but I was not selected. I believe it was because the company/CFO felt that I would be "bored" with the job as the accounting done at that particular mortgage company was not very involved. I hate it when companies try to impose something like that on me but I also understand that they are afraid of bringing me in to only have me leave a short time later if I am not challenged. The week before Thanksgiving, I had two phone interviews with another company (manufacturing, which I have some experience in) that led to an in-person interview on the Thursday before Thanksgiving. I am supposed to hear back about that position sometime next week. During all of this, my boss has been very accommodating, allowing me to leave early or to leave and then come back to work to attend these interviews. I also found out that I no longer have to worry about giving an extended notice because they are not going to worry about hiring anyone right away and the princess who thinks she knows everything will handle it until someone is brought it. That way she can train them however the hell she wants and "mold" them into the perfect employee instead of butting heads with me. So, once I get an offer, I can go ahead and simply give a two week notice and be done! I'll just need to finish the "projects" I'm working on and tie up any loose ends. J is continuing to send out several applications weekly. I hope that he can find something soon so that he can find some purpose to his life instead of just sitting here looking at the same four walls. I know he's bored and it will be good for him to find something else to fill some of his time.

Graduation is right around the corner. Kind of scary really. I only have 2 assignments left to hand in for class. The first, my research paper, is due on 12/6. I'm not anywhere near being done with this assignment and will have to do some serious work over the next two weeks to make the deadline. The final assignment is a "portfolio" of work over the course of the semester. This is technically due on 12/13. However, since grades are due on 12/14 and this class will make or break the "magna cum laud" standing I am shooting for, I have promised my teacher that I would turn it in as early as possible so that she has time to grade the final assignment. It has taken her up to 3 weeks to grade stuff over the term so I have tried to impress upon her that I need my grade submitted immediately after the final class. Additionally, I have mandatory graduation rehearsal ON the final night of class! I am trying to work something out so that I don't "dinged" for missing class that night. It's going to be tough! On the 14th, there is a ceremony called step-singing that I am participating in as well as the Baccalaureate Mass. Then on the 15th is the big day. I asked for nine tickets and found out last week that we are allowed 7 tickets and possibly an additional ticket to those who pick them up early enough. They are available starting on Monday but only between the hours of 7am and 4:30 pm (which I am at work). Since my counterpart is out on Monday, I will not be able to get to campus until Tuesday on my lunch break. Hopefully, that's still soon enough to get the additional ticket. It probably won't matter because at this point, I don't have want my mother to attend. I don't want to see her for quite some time. I don't know if I'll use all 8 tickets. If I don't need them, I will offer them up to someone else.

This next section will be TMI, so please feel free to gloss over it if you choose. I am not kidding when I say that I have had more sex in the last 2.5 months than I had with my ex-husband in 10+ years together. That is just so wrong (the fact that I had such a dysfunctional sex life with the ex, not the current sex life!). But last night, the weirdest thing happened. I noticed, after giving birth to Henry, that sometimes while pleasing myself, I found out that I can sometimes "squirt" which was a surprise to me. Sex with J is always amazing but lately, he's been taking an extra amount of time "teasing" me before "allowing" me to orgasm which makes the end result much more intense. Well, last night was very nice...and while nothing felt "different", I noticed that I felt an extra amount of wetness but I wasn't sure. When I moved, sure enough, I noticed on the sheets that my feeling was correct. I said to J "holy crap, did I just squirt during intercourse??" Apparently, I did. Hmmm...that could certainly get messy if this continues and I'm not a fan of messy! LMAO On a side note, my last period I had (the second while on the mirena IUD) was extraordinarily heavy! :( I had a follow-up appointment to confirm that the insertion was done well on the 12th, but on the 11th, I was in an incredible amount of pain and passing HUGE blood clots. I was really concerned and so was J. At one point, he wanted to take me to the ER but I refused, only because I had the appointment the following day. But the next day, the bleeding was minimal and the day after that I was done completely. The nurse practitioner that did the exam said that everything looked good with the IUD itself and said that the odd bleeding the day before could be due to fibroids (which I never had a problem with before) or it could be that the IUD settled into its final position. I don't see how the latter would have caused the bleeding I encountered but OK. We're going to see how my next period goes and make a decision at that point as to whether or not the IUD should be removed. End of TMI!

Well, my dear friends, if you've made it through this entire entry, then I truly applaud you! I know that I have not been updating as regularly as you or I would like, but life has been a bit busy and stressful. I hope to have good news on the job front soon and I really need to buckle down and get my final two assignments completed so that I can breathe a little easier. Somehow, I still have a solid A going in this class, so it looks like magna is still within reach. If it doesn't happen, I am truly ok with this. I just realized that I have not updated on some serious issues Henry has been having with K4 so I will have to do that another day. I promise that I will do a 100% Henry update in the next week.


Daisypath Graduation tickers


previous entry: I am so overwhelmed

next entry: I am at my wits end

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now...WOW!! so much going on with you!!
I hate that you and your mom have had such an ugly time of all this. What is going on in her life that is making her so hateful?
and J's ex.... insecure, hurt, vengeful... immature, yes. I'm glad you see it for what it is.
yaay on the graduation!! I know you are ready!
Relax...finish up...things will all fall into place!

[*Stealth Bombshell*|0 likes] [|reply]

wow, that is one heck of an entry, lol. Yay for lots of good sex, lol!
The ex- that would give me pause, as well.
The cc/car payment- what a drama! So annoying. When will the car be officially yours? Sooner the better says me!
Employment- good luck, I'm sure the right role will present itself

[mrs mandy mooStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Hope your mum gets happy soon...

[BritishPoptart|0 likes] [|reply]

I can understand your pause. There is something to be said about what exes say. Not much but a little something. I'm so sorry you are going through this with your mom, I hope J can get his credit issues solved. That will help. Has he found a job? That will help too with a lot of this. Love you.

[~Kimberly~|0 likes] [|reply]

The black and white one is Moo. I can't sit on the couch without her cuddled up next to me.

All paracord bracelets are $10. I'll need to know how big his wrist is (in inches) and depending on the size, I may be able to lower the price.


[Love, RebekahStar|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: I am so overwhelmed

next entry: I am at my wits end

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