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Crixus's Diary
by Crixus

previous entry: Threesome

next entry: The way of the wing man.

Dealing with the Alpha Male Of the Group


The other night. Smiles and I were out at a social gathering at an open beer garden.

We approached a group of 2 guys and 2 women. A “mixed” set. Any group of people that you approach, is called a set.

1 woman – single set
2 women – 2 set
women and men - mixed set

So we approached the mixed set. Simple opener and probably the best pick up line ever invented.

“Hey guys”

Group welcomes us in, we positioned. Central, where the group can see us and hear us.
I introduce myself and Smiles as my girlfriend.

Usually what happens is, when you enter a mixed set as a single man. You HAVE to befriend the male first.  Otherwise, competition arises and he will automatically want you out.

The male of the group will either (depending on their confidence) cower away and leave the set, not say anything, or Alpha you. The community calls it to AMOG (Alpha Male Of the Group).

If you bring in a female to the group however. The tension eases, it’s a trade-off. Especially if she is an attractive SINGLE female. If you are interested in his females, and the female you are with is just a “friend” then it’s all good.

In this occasion however.

Both the males decided it would be fun to poke at my Frame (my confidence), One with a black leather Jacket and an English man in their mid 30s. When I said my real name (which is foreign) they both automatically assumed I was from a certain country.
Which I politely corrected. Though this is when they started “Amoging” (yes it turns into a word). 

They began to make some… racial jokes, mainly regarding the country they thought I was from. Pretty timid ones which were still “friendly” and they thought it was quite funny.

Amogs purpose is to make you look bad or make you react in a negative way in front of other women to sustain their position as Alpha in the group.

It didn’t phase me. I’ve dealt with these types of attacks before.

I ignored the English guy.

From both body languages of these men I could tell that the English man was simply testing the waters, not really a threat. So I ignored him. The attacks were coming from the man in the leather Jacket.

Males that attack or act tough first up are usually the biggest threat, because they are insecure.
I played along with his comments, corrected him and changed the subject.

When he brought up the attacks again I simply ignored him. Though he himself made the conversation uncomfortable and the mood changed. He isolated himself and the group split up into couples and began talking amongst themselves. I took it as an opportunity to go to the bar for a drink with my date.

Jacket guy, now alone, came to talk to us again. His body language still slightly aggressive towards me. (Puffing chest out, hands on his waist, pointing or holding his hands towards me). What a dick.

This guy was not very socialised.

What I also noticed was he was having a go with Smiles. Fair enough, she’s a beautiful girl.

I am happy to see Smiles enjoy a conversation or flirt with other men. Though, seen as we are not interested in other men. I have to keep my guard up if I see him touching her in a way that would make her feel uncomfortable or put her in a position where she would have to be stern. That’s where I would have to come in.

Though, because he knew she was my girlfriend it was also an attack towards me. Keeping your cool, keeping calm is the key to being a power player. I listened and watched him carefully.

His body language was all wrong, showing way too much interest (leaning in, holding his drink in front of him). Smiles showed no interest and he soon figured out he had no chance. It’s not about fearing that he would steal Smiles off me. It’s about him making me look bad in front of her. As a man, if I can’t take shit from other men, how can I protect her. That’s the psychological theory to it.

There are a million ways to negate an AMOG. Easiest way is to ignore him or attack back in a funnier and wittier way. Sometimes both. Or destroy them completely. Destroying an AMOG simply means, making him leave (Which is mostly done when you are talking to a new girl and a random guy comes in to compete for her) by making him look bad in return. Another way to show that you are AMOGing him is to touch him, put his hand on his shoulder or arm around him. That sort of body language shows that “you OWN him”.

Smiles was caught up talking to two other men, who we’re also showing ridiculous amount of interest.

I sparked conversation with Jacket guy. A psychiatrist believe it or not. I tried to dig information out of him about socialising but he didn’t respond. I got him talking about his entire life and by the end I was his best buddy. In the mean time he knew nothing about me. I figured out he was an insecure lonely guy with little social skills that keep a woman interested. He also does drugs and isn’t happy with his job among other things.

I was weary at first I thought perhaps he was doing the same thing to me, being a psychiatrist.
Nope… he ate chips off the table and chewed while talking. He was a Beta male.

You have to be careful though. There are men out there who simply cannot handle being “destroyed” and will simply get physically aggressive. In the social world, reacting physically is a sign of weakness not strength. A gentleman never gets physically aggressive unless it’s a last life threatening resort. A real man, wins with his mind.

Any man that disagrees with that notion, in my book, is obviously weak minded.

While I think a lot of PUA stuff on you-tube is stupid. I watched this one today while I was doing some research. It’s pretty lame and they would only work on specific situations. Being walked up to like that rarely ever happens. I was more interested in the body language.

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previous entry: Threesome

next entry: The way of the wing man.

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