Suicidal dream...

The depression has been bad lately. Crying quite frequently. Can't seem to figure out a way to make myself feel better. Tired of always feeling alone even in a room full of people. And now.. the dream. Or maybe it was more of a sick fantasy..
Last night while laying in bed I dreamed or imagined.. (I can't really tell you which).. going to my so-called best friend's apartment and hanging myself from her banisters. That wasn't even the twisted part. I wrote her a note. I told her that this suicide she could have prevented if only she had cared. Told her that I am done feeling worthless... and that I blame her for it. It was bad. Well anyhow.. maybe some how I can start feeling better, but currently I only see darkness.