Well, despite how mad I am at Doug right now for the bullshit he pulled yesterday, I decided to send him a message on Facebook expressing some of my frustrations toward him. I'm hoping that after he reads it, he will realize what a complete dick he was and make more of an effort to be a proper father to Trystan.
Here's the message I sent. It's long, so bear with me. For anyone reading this who doesn't know the situation, check a few entries back to get the scoop.
Hi....so I have a few things to say to you, and I really don't care how you take it. But it needs to be said.
First of all, I am sick and tired of constantly asking you to help out when it comes to Trystan and having you say the same thing to me that you always do. "Well, I can't help you."
You are never able to help me. You never have any money. And when you do, you NEVER think to ask me if Trystan needs anything. Even if it's your last 20 bucks, you'd rather use it for whatever you choose, instead of thinking about buying Trystan some diapers, or wipes or anything else he might need. I have been SO lenient in letting you see Trystan whenever you want. It doesn't matter what I've got going on, I make time to let you see him. I've asked you on numerous occasions if you want to do something and go out for a day with me and him...and you always give me the same answer. "Maybe. We'll see what I'm doing."
You can make plans to hang out with your friends, or the girls you talk to, but you can't make plans to spend a day with your son? Give me a break. It's almost like you really don't want to spend that time with him. I know that's not the case, but a lot of the time that's how it feels. I have tried over and over and over again to include you in things that have to do with Trystan, but you hardly ever make that effort. I understand you have school. That's just fine. I'm glad you're doing something with yourself instead of sitting at home like a bum. But you could still make an effort.
As for child support...well, we know where I stand on that. Eventually, it's going to come down to me taking you to court to have a judge tell you that you need to give me that money. You're afraid to get a job because you KNOW the government will take a part of your cheque for child support. I don't see why that would be an issue, considering it's for YOUR son. And again, it's just another excuse.
It seems you're full of those.
And another thing. Your extra curricular activities that include girls you meet on Facebook or wherever? I don't care what you do with your personal life. But I DO care when you push Trystan aside and put them before him. You can sit and deny that you do until you're blue in the face. I know otherwise. Because I'm the one who's left telling Trystan that daddy is too busy to see him because some girl is more important. THIS is what I am really mad at you about. You never seem to realize what you're doing when you do those things. And the sad part of it all, is that you DON'T care. You're right...it is none of my business why you for some reason felt it was necessary to bring your friend home yesterday. Which you didn't even end up doing. But, aside from that, I don't think it was an absolutely important thing to do. She is a big girl I'm sure. If she can make it to your place all by herself, she could have made it home just the same without you there to hold her hand. You had a prior engagement with your son, which was much more important. But again, you didn't see it that way. Do you ever think from a parent's perspective when I get mad at you for these things? If I were to do what you do, and put a guy before Trystan, don't you think you'd be a little bit mad at me for it? Yes, you would. In fact, I know you'd be furious. You tell me to grow up and act like an adult. But the fact of the matter is, that I seem to be the ONLY one acting like that. Your own mother said to me that I have every right to be as mad as I am at you. Because what you pulled, was an ass move. And then when I stop talking to you, and keep you from seeing Trystan for a period of time, you don't even give 2 shits. You continue on with your life as if nothing has happened. What kind of father would do that? I know that most father's would at least make the effort to fix their mistakes. Or apologize for being such a douchebag. But not you...oh no, that would mean admitting you were wrong. Grow a pair, Doug. Really.
What you pulled yesterday made me extremely mad. Are you aware that after getting off the phone with you, I cried for an hour straight because I had no idea what I was going to do for food for Trystan and diapers for the week? Trystan is currently wearing girls pullups that are a size too small for him because I had to ask a friend if I could borrow some until I get my child tax. My grandfather had to come out here in the RAIN on his scooter just to bring us his last 20 bucks so we could get bread and milk for the week. All because taking your "friend" home was more important to you. Now tell me, how does that make you feel as a father? Is it getting through your head now why I say the things I do to you? You made me so mad that I literally contemplated whether or not I should continue letting you see Trystan...because it's not like you help me with him. You'll sit and preach to me about what I should and shouldn't be doing with him, but yet, you won't even contribute a single red cent toward supporting him.
Anyway, I don't know what else to say to you right now. I am still extremely pissed off at you, and probably will be for a while. What you pulled was inexcusable. I just needed to get this out instead of letting it continue to build. I have a lot of frustration when it comes to you...but not enough time to express it all here. Maybe one day you'll know. Until then, this will have to do.
Have a good one.
Opinions? I could really use some.
Anyway, gotta get Trystan ready for bed soon.