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Emotional Tautology
by Chapter Finished

previous entry: Blessings, Boasts and Thoughts (January 5th, 2009)

next entry: Blessings, Boasts and Thoughts (January 6th, 2009)

Morning Thoughts (January 6th, 2009)

01/06/2009

1. The things you’re grateful to have
A home. Good friends who talk to me, and love me. Nikki. Ari. School in zomgah three and a half hours. Access to a car. Someone who badly wanted to give me a job. A bathtub. Running water. Food. Internet.

2. The things you’re grateful NOT to have
My own car. Work until Thursday. To walk to school. Bitchy doctors.

3. What you don’t like about yourself
I underestimate myself.

4. How you can change what you don’t like about yourself
Well, doing things like this is a pretty good way to get a neutral opinion of myself, because I don't want to have an overinflated idea of who I am either. The conversations I'm having with people recently are really helping, both the positive and negative ones. Keep battling the eternal war of self-talk, I suppose. I don't really know. Any suggestions?

5. Your greatest qualities
Apparently, I've managed to become important to some very special people, so I must be doing something right. I'm willing and capable of taking negative feedback and acting on it, even if my emotional control isn't as good as it once was. I'm accepting. I'm loving. I'm stubborn. I'm always seeking to learn. I'm always learning to seek.

6. Your life goals
I want to be fluent in ASL. I want to know the culture, the grammar, the evolution, everything. I want a sanctuary. One I share with everyone, and one I only share with family. I want to be happy, inside. I want to be as much a role model to others, as my role models are to me. I want a family. I want to raise loved, secure, independent children.

7. How yesterday’s problems are today’s motivation
I borrowed against today's spoons yesterday. But I can still accomplish things, if slower. It's good that I'm capable of being alone, and it's good that I can roll with being abandoned, and I should still learn how to be not-alone, and not provoke abandonment. *quirk*

8. What you want to do today
I need to go to school. I need to get my meds. It'd be nice if I could go to the bank. Otherwise, I kinda just want to take it easy today.

9. How you can make someone else’s day a little brighter
I'm going to try and find someone at class who's even more shy and scared than me, and help them out.

10. You only have one life
Let's go!!

previous entry: Blessings, Boasts and Thoughts (January 5th, 2009)

next entry: Blessings, Boasts and Thoughts (January 6th, 2009)

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