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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Sex & kids.
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18 Jul 2009, 18:36
brooke !
Post Count: 100
This kind of stemmed from the "How many is too many?" thread. If your children asked you how many sexual partners you have had, would you tell them the truth? Would you lie? Would you tell them it's none of their business? Explain.
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18 Jul 2009, 19:09
Eat Yellow Snow
Post Count: 216
I would tell the truth, absolutely.. WHEN THE TIME IS RIGHT, meaning: when I know that they are mature enough to understand what I am saying to them. I LOVE the new show "Sex With Mom & Dad", hosted by Dr. Drew (MTV). I think it is a good way to help parents and kids understand that it is perfectly NORMAL to talk about sex & how to go about addressing the really uncomfortable subjects like oral sex & "how many partners have you had, who were they, where did it happen, & why did you have sex with so many people/ at such a young age if you didn't love them?". AWESOMESAUCE!!! :D :D :D KNOWLEDGE IS POWER!!! :D :D :D
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19 Jul 2009, 13:33
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I'd tell them when they reached the right age. Why not? My mom told me what age she was when she lost her virginity, and we have a great relationship. I hope I can be as close with my kids as me and my mom are.
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19 Jul 2009, 16:36
Endless Love
Post Count: 102
Of course I'd be honest with them. Both my parents were honest with me when it came to that question
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20 Jul 2009, 19:58
Mojo Jojo
Post Count: 278
My mum wont tell me... I know its a lot though
I would, but not til they were well into adulthood
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18 Jul 2009, 18:49
Leona Wren
Post Count: 425
First off I firmly believe that you should begin discussing body parts, kissing, and minor things at around the age of 5/6. In this society sex is such a common thing and I DO NOT want my children learning from MTV, the streets, or even there school.

I would be honest with my daughter when the time is right, and tell her my past. I will also tell her that while she is such a blessing, I firmly regret not waiting until marriage to have sex. It would have been more beautiful and more honorable to my husband.
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18 Jul 2009, 18:52
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Unless you encourage your children to lie, you shouldn't lie to your children it is dishonest and childish.
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18 Jul 2009, 18:58
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I wouldn't give her an exact number, because I don't feel like it's any of her business. But I will talk to her about what age I lost my virginity, how long I waited with someone, if I regreted it, etc. But a particular number doesn't really matter in my opinion. But if she is anything like I was with my mother, she will not want to know anything about my sexual history. *fingers crossed*

But like Megan said I will talk to her about sex at an early age, just not about my sex. lol..unless she asks.
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19 Jul 2009, 01:40
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
So if it's none of her business how many partners you've had, you're equally giving her the opportunity to sleep with as many men as she wants and it not be YOUR business later in life, correct?
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19 Jul 2009, 03:30
Makayla
Post Count: 751
No absolutely not. As a parent your job is to try and raise your children up to be the best people you can. If I had it my way my daughter would save sex for her husband, but I can't make that decision for her. I can just talk to her about an try to protect her. As in making sure I know who she hangs out with at all times, where she is at, coming home at a decent hour, etc. I can also make sure that she has a good head on her shoulders by educating her of the benefits of waiting, and the consequences of not waiting. I would say do as I say NOT as I do (or did).
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19 Jul 2009, 04:22
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
"Do as I say not as I do/did" only works when they are young (IF then). Once they become more independent, it's about example, NOT what you say. If a parent has had many partners, and they want their child to not be so promiscuous, the best example to give them would be to explain to them how it affected you and why you don't want that for them. If a parent has NOT had many partners, that in itself is the best example to their child. But either way, "Do as I say, not as I do/did" is only going to backfire on you unless you can give them an example they can grasp.
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19 Jul 2009, 04:29
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I plan on explaining to my daughter that I regret not waiting. I can't go back in time to change what I did BEFORE I had my child, I can just try my best to give her an example to live by in my present and future. Hopefully, she will have a mind of her own, and it will not matter to her that her mom had sex before marriage and make the best choice for herself.
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20 Jul 2009, 19:54
brooke !
Post Count: 100
I don't *think* it's a kid's business what their parents have necessarily done, but if they outright come and ask me, I'd let them know. Just because someone doesn't want to give an exact number, doesn't mean they don't care about their children's sexual well being. I hope my daughter only has one partner, but I can't control her life. How many people she sleeps with is not my business, unless she wants to come to me and tell me and discuss it with me.
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18 Jul 2009, 19:04
brooke !
Post Count: 100
to reply to my own thread, lol. i would be honest with my child if she asked. there's no reason to lie, but there isn't a reason to bring it up if she has no interest in talking about it. i haven't talked to my daughter about sex (she'll be 7 in september), but she's asked about kissing, and i give her a simple answer and she's satisfied.
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18 Jul 2009, 19:29
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
I don't see the problem with letting my child be informed. For one, this isn't a school book lesson. This is your mother being honest with you and teaching you from experience.

To be cliche, I'd rather be safe than sorry. Tell all, develop a good means of communication, and be willing to not squirm uncomfortably at whatever questions she/he has. ;D
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18 Jul 2009, 19:39
My Kids' Dad
Post Count: 24
First of all, I believe lying is wrong. Especially to your own children. If they can't trust YOU, who can they trust?

Secondly, I think there's a VERY good moral lesson to teach your children here. If you've had sex with more than one partner, you need to explain that to your children honestly, and tell them why it's wrong. It's important that children these days be taught that sex was meant to be a bond between a Husband and Wife (ONLY!!!!!!!!). It was meant as both a physical, and spiritual bond so that a man and woman can "become one flesh" as scripture tells us.

It's important to be honest with your children, so they can learn from YOUR mistakes, and not be forced to learn from their own (and regret them forever).

God be Praised!
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18 Jul 2009, 23:37
Leona Wren
Post Count: 425
I agree 100% completely with what you said!
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19 Jul 2009, 03:02
Fiat
Post Count: 288
I agree too!
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19 Jul 2009, 10:36
brooke !
Post Count: 100
"Secondly, I think there's a VERY good moral lesson to teach your children here. If you've had sex with more than one partner, you need to explain that to your children honestly, and tell them why it's wrong."

I respect your opinion, but not everyone thinks that it's wrong to have sex with more than one person. When and if my daughter asks, I'll tell her that her biological father and I were together when we made her, but now we're not. And that my current hubby and I are together, not me and her father. I will explain that times change and people change, and that some things don't always work out the way we wanted them to.

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19 Jul 2009, 10:36
brooke !
Post Count: 100
"Secondly, I think there's a VERY good moral lesson to teach your children here. If you've had sex with more than one partner, you need to explain that to your children honestly, and tell them why it's wrong."

I respect your opinion, but not everyone thinks that it's wrong to have sex with more than one person. When and if my daughter asks, I'll tell her that her biological father and I were together when we made her, but now we're not. And that my current hubby and I are together, not me and her father. I will explain that times change and people change, and that some things don't always work out the way we wanted them to.

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19 Jul 2009, 13:36
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
So you're saying it's wrong to have sex with more than one person? Gosh, nice.

I think you have to be careful with forbidding kids to do things. The second I was told I wasn't allowed to do something, that it was wrong... off I went and did it!
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19 Jul 2009, 16:21
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
lol,

you do lie to your children. unwillingly sure. but you do lie to them.

You tell them jesus was a real person that walked the earth. That is a lie.
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19 Jul 2009, 18:01
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
It's not a lie. Even if you don't believe in God yourself, his telling his kids that Jesus existed is not a lie. It is a belief. It can only be a lie if there is clear evidence that it is untrue. You do not have such evidence, therefore, believe in God, or don't, it's still just a BELIEF. No-one knows with 100% certainty that Jesus did or did not exist. It is not a lie just because you don't believe in it personally.
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19 Jul 2009, 18:58
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
I'm not talking about a belief in a god.
I know what a jesus is, it's an experience.
I know who the man, the normal man, named Jesus was, he was an Essene healer known as the "Teacher of Righteousness". Crucified in 88 BCE (source the dead sea scrolls)
I know where the confusion came. and why.
I know why the forgeries of Josephus and the others were made.
I know for a fact what today's Christians think a jesus is, is not true at all, not even close.
It's not a "belief" I have, it's knowing what is historical, and what isn't.
The person I replied to, I said he "unwillingly" lies. He believes it to be true.
But anyone that bothers to do the research knows it's not true at all.
Not that Hellenistic twisted belief that denies it's own origins and calls it's own tail "satanic"
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18 Jul 2009, 20:20
The Ryan
Post Count: 414
Oh Gosh, yo! I'd lie. There's no need for them to know this specific information, so you could have fun with it! ;D I'd do the same if my parents asked.
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