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Gay Marriage Opponents Now Want Legal Definition
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15 May 2009, 06:00
Lady Sheri
Post Count: 71
Heh, posting this just cause I feel like being sassy! I
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15 May 2009, 06:01
Lady Sheri
Post Count: 71
oh noez! it didn't post it! Here it is frealz now! (maybe...?)

Gay Marriage Opponents Now Want Legal Definition
By: Ryan Garns


Opponents of gay marriage who believe marriage should only apply to heterosexuals now wish to restrict access to another sacred institution: Christmas.

"Much like traditional marriage, the traditions of Christmas have been under assault for many years now," says Brent Slabroller, leader of The Defense of Traditions Coalition. "In order to preserve those traditions, we're calling for a constitutional amendment that defines Christmas as only for Christians."

For years non-Christians have adopted the Christmas holiday as though it were their own. They decorate trees, exchange gifts, take paid time off from work -- but none of them pay any tribute to Jesus Christ. Some of them don't even go to church. Even more shocking, some of them are gay.

"Let's be honest: these non-Christians don't give a hoot about the true meaning of Christmas," says Slabroller. "They just want to exploit it for the fringe benefits."

Slabroller denied the charge that his organization is motivated by bigotry rather than the betterment of society.

"We're not saying non-Christians can't have a celebration of their own," said Slabroller. "We're just saying don't call it Christmas. Call it 'Pagan Day'. Call it 'Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Celebrate-Christmas-But-Instead-I'm-A-Godless-Heathen' Day. Instead of singing carols, you can go door-to-door reading Charles Darwin to each other. Or the Qur'an or Harry Potter or whatever else non-Christians like to read. I wouldn't know."

In other related news: a gay rights group is calling for a legal definition of Broadway musicals in order to keep out heterosexuals. More on this as it develops.
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15 May 2009, 08:34
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Amusing considering you can drive around and see loads of christian churches celebrating halloween!
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15 May 2009, 14:27
Krisstah
Post Count: 127
.... oh my...
Someone stuffed the bible a bit too far up their ass that day.
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16 May 2009, 01:29
T.A.I
Post Count: 269
Not really. Christians have a phobia of things up their asses, that's why they're so anti-gay, remember?
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16 May 2009, 02:01
Krisstah
Post Count: 127
ah yes... =/ hmmm..
Maybe they have a second hole they dont want anyone to know about, located somewhere near the asshole..
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15 May 2009, 16:16
sumamen
Post Count: 180
"We're not saying non-Christians can't have a celebration of their own," said Slabroller. "We're just saying don't call it Christmas. Call it 'Pagan Day'. Call it 'Gee-I-Wish-I-Could-Celebrate-Christmas-But-Instead-I'm-A-Godless-Heathen' Day. Instead of singing carols, you can go door-to-door reading Charles Darwin to each other. Or the Qur'an or Harry Potter or whatever else non-Christians like to read. I wouldn't know."

That is funny to me! Nobody else see the humor in it?
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15 May 2009, 23:25
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
Err.. I'm a Christian.. and I read Harry Potter! OH NOEZ!!
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16 May 2009, 05:17
BROTHERJIM_4_JC
Post Count: 76
Harry Potter....you are gonna burn for that
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15 May 2009, 16:32
BROTHERJIM_4_JC
Post Count: 76
Christmas is not a Christian holiday it is pagan and was adopted into Christianity because we wanted to bring people into the church by being more inclusive. Big mistake as the true meaning of Christmas is lost in the commercialism and not the reason which the Birth of the Savior. Personally I can care less what people do with Christmas. Real believers should celebrate that daily not on one so called Holy Day.
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15 May 2009, 16:55
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
Christmas is for any1 personally its a time of the year when stores gets profits its insane

I am a catholic and I do what's tradionally people forget holidays such as christmas is the day when we remeber what jesus did for us like 1 of the girls said "we should celebrate jesus everyday"

Gay people can do what they want but they really should stop blaming christains, any reglious people just because they follow the bible and go to church regulary and do their own tradions it isn't all our fault for them not having the "same rights" certain people are open and some aren't. It is getting old when I hear topics like this I roll my eyes all I see is finger pointings they do they don't we do we don't
Its gonna go on for many more years till something new or "new" comes along people want to point fingers at
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15 May 2009, 17:55
Transit
Post Count: 1096
pst its fake! Not only that, even if it were real you obviously chose not to read the article as it was about Christians pointing the finger, not gay people!
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15 May 2009, 19:33
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Face.
















Palm.
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15 May 2009, 07:49
Eat Yellow Snow
Post Count: 216
*spark spark* :D :D :D
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15 May 2009, 20:53
sumamen
Post Count: 180
I love that picture! It's beautiful! lol
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16 May 2009, 02:22
Eat Yellow Snow
Post Count: 216
picture? :-/ :-)
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15 May 2009, 08:28
& icons.
Post Count: 15
are you fucking serious?
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15 May 2009, 10:43
Miss
Post Count: 239
how dumb! i'm a Christian, but i don't think that the holiday actually belongs to us, you know? i believe that Jesus was born one night, but i don't really think that the date is accurate. Christians should celebrate the birth of Jesus every day, not just that one day. I think everyone has a right to celebrate Christmas, because the holiday has a great spirit about it and brings families together whether you're Christian or not.
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15 May 2009, 14:44
Aspiring Boxer
Post Count: 169
Wow this is absurd!
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15 May 2009, 14:49
panda bear.
Post Count: 150
this is the dumbest thing I've ever heard.
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15 May 2009, 15:04
~Just the 3 of Us~
Post Count: 98
Hilarious! That's about what it's coming to! hehehe
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15 May 2009, 15:05
Riot
Post Count: 31
omg y'all are so gullible.

Ryan Garns writes satire. He also has an article that says "Perez Hilton to Vet Supreme Court Pick" (here) that says Perez Hilton is considered for the new spot.

My, my. For people who always try to sound so smart, I'm surprised nobody found this out. Or at least said anything, if they knew.
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15 May 2009, 15:33
Lady Sheri
Post Count: 71
Thanks for posting the link! For some strange reason, the link didn't post when I did this last night! But I was literally falling asleep and figured I'd just post it today!

and here is the link if anyone wants it http://www.ryangarns.com/archives/article_102508.php
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15 May 2009, 15:14
Chris
Post Count: 1938
How badly has Brother Jim gotten to you guys? Haha, satire people.
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15 May 2009, 15:34
Lady Sheri
Post Count: 71
HAHA! Exactly! Fight nonsensical with nonsensical :)
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