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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Wait for marriage?
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19 Jan 2009, 22:41
-Bella-
Post Count: 2
We've been together for nearly year and lately things have started getting heated.
I always thought I wanted to save it for marriage, but now I'm not so sure I can wait. Can someone give me guidance?
Shall I wait, or go for it?
Did you wait for marriage?
If not, how long did you wait before sleeping with your first partner, and your current partner?
If you waited for marriage, how long was your courtship before you got engaged, then married?
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19 Jan 2009, 23:55
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
Hmm -- well alot of ppl save em fo rma rriage even if they were together for years... if u wanna wait till marriage wait till marriage -- dont give in because he wants it if it gets too heated maybe u should talk to him and try to see if he can settle down till later? your beliefts, and feelings ARE important

i did not wait i was 16 yrs old yes i regreted it it took me TWO years to get over it... because i wanted 2 wait till marriage and i thought like those girls "if i did it i could keep him" boy mom was right!! but then i started dating and i onli slept with a few guys and it became "causual" but i knew between if he would just want some and leave or stick around...

dont give in when he starts to pressure u... u dont wanna feel FORCED but if u felt this is the right time right moment go for it -- but like i said ur feelings ARE important those should be number one for u -- if he cant respect that then give him the boot if he loves u enough he can wait

it just depended on the guy i got older.. then i dated a bunch of guys and onli went into a relationship with a fewer guys...

i am engaged now -- i gotten engaged within a year... (i expected 2) and we have a long engagement im getitngmarried in august -- so that would be a year and half engagement hope this helps!
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20 Jan 2009, 14:47
Giggle
Post Count: 279
I'm in favor of waiting till marriage. It gives it much more meaning! You know like the only one lucky enough to have sex with you is the one you're gonna spend the rest of your life with ;)
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20 Jan 2009, 15:04
minor_catastrophe
Post Count: 123
I always said I was going to wait til marriage... That went down the drain when I was 15. I've waited different times with each partner. My recent, I believe it happened the first or second time I went to his house after we started dating, but I've known him for aalmost 6 years now.

If you're gonna do it, make sure it's for the right reasons, and that your heart and head are in it 100%, like i`m his lil bearrr. said. I didn't do it for the right reasons and I still regret it. That was almost three years ago. And if you want to wait, make it clear to him. Don't let him convince you otherwise.
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21 Jan 2009, 16:39
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
I didn't wait for marriage. I was 13. I would say that I regret it, but if I hadn't had sex with him, I may never have had sex so soon, and then I wouldn't have my daughter. There are a lot of emotional things that come with having sex. It can, and often times, does change a relationship. I don't know how old you are, but I would suggest waiting. If you are questioning it, you probably aren't ready for it. :)
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21 Jan 2009, 17:15
*amour de bebe*
Post Count: 235
I didnt wait for marriage... (obviously, lol) I'm not sure i'll ever get married. I don't know to me it's just a peice of paper (MY OPINION!), but who knows what the future holds....
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21 Jan 2009, 19:36
Mojo Jojo
Post Count: 278
I didn't and don't regret it
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22 Jan 2009, 03:48
vatten mö
Post Count: 43
I agree with everyone who says it is up to you...and that you shouldn't let someone else force you into it.

I am a 26 year old virgin...and darn proud of it. I am saving myself for marriage...if I ever get married. I'd be lying if I said I agreed with pre-marital sex but I will not try to dictate your life to you. My beliefs are my beliefs and that is all there is to it.
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19 Jan 2009, 22:49
xanderthebuttmonkey
Post Count: 43
I did not wait for marriage, and don't regret it. With my first partner I waited about 3 months, 2nd partner only took one date, 3rd partner was a few weeks and I'm marrying her so should be the last one, unforseen circumstances aside.

As for you, you pretty much have to decide if it's important to you. I decided it wasn't, well my body did most of the deciding but yea. In my opinion, you want to be pretty sure you'll at least be with the person a long time, so as to keep the number of partners as low as possible. I do kind of regret my 2nd partner, as I wasn't with her very long. But yea, that's me, you need to do what you feel is right for you.
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19 Jan 2009, 22:57
jodi
Post Count: 300
it's all up to you.
just make sure you're in the right place in your life.

i didn't wait for marriage. i waited different times with each partner. when my current boyfriend and i got together we had sex the first time i went to his house. errr. we knew each other two months before that though. :] we were building ourselves up for a relationship. it all depends on how you feel about the other person. we're still together, 10 months later. :]
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19 Jan 2009, 23:13
i`m his lil bearrr.
Post Count: 41
it really depends on what feels right with you.

with my first, it was a year + into our relationship. with my current bf, it didn't take NEARLY that long (we'd known each other for 10 years though before), lol. and we've been together for almost 3 years now. i don't regret my first, it made me more comfortable with myself and with sex, making me happier and more relaxed in my next relationship.

just make sure that your heart and your head are in it 100%. that's the best way to go about it. =)
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20 Jan 2009, 00:47
Greta Garbage
Bloop Community Organizer
Post Count: 302
This is not our decision to make for you. It comes down to personal choice. I didn't wait for marriage but that was just me. It has to feel right for you like I'm his lil bearrrr said. The best advice I can give is to make sure you want to do it because you love him and not because you just can't wait anymore.
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20 Jan 2009, 04:10
Jenna bean....
Post Count: 40
I did not wait for marriage........ but I think that sex makes things more complicated. even if things are complicated, they will be.... but if you feel like you want to do it, make sure you use all the protection you can...... birth control and condoms. i would need prob 3 people using their fingers and toes along with mine, of friends who have kids...... i just found out last week, my best friend is preg with her 2nd. be careful!!!!
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20 Jan 2009, 04:22
valerieeeee
Post Count: 274
i didn't wait. and i do regret it.
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20 Jan 2009, 04:23
valerieeeee
Post Count: 274
oops. i had more to say.....

if you are questioning yourself, you shouldn't do it. if you need to think about it a whole lot, i would say you aren't ready. if you need to ask a community of strangers, i think that maybe you should wait. i don't know; that's what i think.
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20 Jan 2009, 10:28
Ash77
Post Count: 59
I agree, if you are unsure then you're probably not ready. Wait till it feels right.
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20 Jan 2009, 10:01
.love.struck.
Post Count: 492
When my husband and I first starting dating, we waited a month and a half. I don't regret it at all. I was ready and didn't feel that pressure. I always knew I would have sex before I got married though. My only rule was to wait for the right guy. I found a keeper and married him. Just don't feel like you have to have sex with him.
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20 Jan 2009, 13:49
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
With my current boyfriend, we waited 4 months. Before him, I had a tendency to jump into bed straight away. But I'm glad I waited. But really, this is up to you. If you feel you will be ok with it afterwards, then go for it!
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20 Jan 2009, 14:01
Oprah Noodlemantra
Post Count: 300
I waited until my 20th year was almost over. No, I wasn't in a relationship with the guy, but I'd known him almost half my life, and I trusted him. Did I regret it? Not at all. There were a few moments of doubt, but that happens. It was an experience, and I wouldn't change anything.
I'll say to you what my friend's mother told her: "It's like buying a car. You want to test drive the car before you buy it to make sure you enjoy the ride."
As much as I agree wholeheartedly with that statement, it's also a very personal decision that shouldn't be swayed by what we all think. In the end, it's up to you. Go with what you feel.
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20 Jan 2009, 15:10
Me, I'm Not
Post Count: 93
I'm like my sister, I waited until I was 20 until I had sex. My boyfriend and I waited a month, I knew he was the one I wanted to "lose" my virginity to. I mean, yeah, two months later I was pregnant, but shit happens. I don't regret my decision, and I'm still with him and I'm still very happy. I think if you are second guessing yourself, it's better to wait to know if you're absolutely positive. It might just be better to wait until marriage.
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20 Jan 2009, 16:58
Blank.Page
Post Count: 29
i was 16 when i lost my virginity. it was never important for me to wait until marriage, but it was important for me to wait for the right one. i don't regret my decision at all, he was the perfect guy for my first time to be with.
i think if you're having doubts you really need to think about how you'll feel if you do have sex with him, and then you guys break up. will you look back on it and think "wow, i should've waited" or will you think "i was really in love with him, that was the right decision"
i knew the guy i fist had sex with wsn't going to be the guy i would marry, or even date for years and years. he was 2 years older, a senior in highschool, and i was a sophmore. i knew he was going way to college, and i was very realistic about it. but that doesn't mean i didn't love him.
no one else can tell you what to do b/c your situation is unique. you just have to know your elf well enough to know whether or not it will be a decision you'll regret. if you can't answer that, then it's prob better to wit.
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20 Jan 2009, 18:25
I Am I'm Me
Post Count: 5
i have a question i think it depends on how old you are too if your underage then i would deffo wait. since i can't vist your diary then nobody knows how old you are.
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21 Jan 2009, 14:36
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
i see no question.
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21 Jan 2009, 18:39
I Am I'm Me
Post Count: 5
thats because your a moron and decide to ignore the intent of one when i said depends on how old you are.
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21 Jan 2009, 21:12
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
you're calling me the moron when your sentence contained no question what so ever.

you said you had a question, and then said it depends on how old you are and that you couldn't see the op's diary. where exactly is there a question there at all? oh look, i just asked one! see how it had a little "?" mark in there, indicating a fucking question?

so yeah, who's the fucking moron exactly? i think it's you, you fucking retard.
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