Thursday I didn't cry once over Mark That doesn't mean I didn't think about him all the time, it's just that for whatever reason, I didn't cry.
I made up for it on Friday (and today, so far).
During the night I woke up around 3 AM. My first thought went to Mark. I had a silly thought that maybe he txted me and I should check my phone. But I didn't, because I knew he didn't.
Then I woke up from a dream about helping someone put a puzzle together. I remember helping them take pieces from a table over to the puzzle. There must've been a giraffe in it, because I found a bunch and put them in for the person. I looked up these symbols.
After that I played. I was surprised that I wanted to. I hadn't since Sunday. As soon as I stopped having an orgasm, I cried.
My dog frustrated me before work, so on the way to work, I cried. I wasn't just crying because of my dog, I know I was also crying because I missed Mark.
After lunch, on the way back to work, Sirius informed me that a favorite artist was on air. It was Hanson. The song was Mmmbop. I could barely listen to the first verse, I switched the song, and I cried.
A client called because he missed his appointment Monday. Long story short, he told me his wife takes his phone and sometimes has it for a week. I thought, boy, this sounds like Mark's situation. Do you know how bad I wanted to tell this client he better get a new phone and phone number? I told Mark, but it didn't seem to matter.
I cried again last night thinking of him.
I fell asleep on the couch, like it seems like I've done every night for the last 3 weeks. I woke up around 1:30 AM and my first thought was, "What is Mark doing? It's 10:30 for him."
During the night I had a dream. Mark and I were at a fair. We were holding hands. I remember seeing bumper cars and a ferris wheel. I looked up these symbols.
Afterwards I played. Again, I was surprised that I wanted to. I thought of us at an amusement park, getting on one of those huge ferris wheel's. I wish I could tell Mark what I thought about. After my orgasm, I cried.
And I'm crying again as I type this.