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In The Shadows
by Concrete Rose

previous entry: This Silence is Deafening

next entry: Has it really been 4 years?

But I Do

07/07/2013

The last time I wanted to write about this something else got in the way...

July 12th I'm going to see Jeff Dunham with Melissa! I found the tickets on StubHub and I paid $150 for each, but it's going to be worth it! The seats are even 2nd row! We're not in the middle section, but the section we're in should still be good seats. I can't wait!

Then at the end of the month Mom, Melissa, Cameron, Aaron and I are going to the Crayola Factory and then over to Hershey for a few days! I think it'll be fun and it'll be nice to get away! We went to Hershey when I was about 3-4, so I don't really remember it. I think it'll be fun for Cameron.

A few days after we started planning this trip back in May Sheila, Kim and I went to see The Hangover 3. Well during the beginning credits MMMBop plays. When I got home I went to Hanson's Facebook page to see if anything was mentioned about it. I ended up seeing that they were going to be in Hershey and I was like, "No shit! We're going to Hershey..." So I looked at the dates and it's the same time we'll be there!

So I couldn't contain my excitement and I bought tickets for Melissa and me. I'm paying for them because I want to go and obviously don't want to go alone! It's the Mixtape Festival and we will also see One Republic, Gavin DeGraw and a few others. These tickets are in row 28 maybe, but it'll be a hell of a lot closer then when I saw them when I was 14!

So far my Summer has been ok. I'm working a lot because people are taking vacations and it was just the 4th. The paychecks are nice, though! I've gone a seen a few movies. Mom and I saw The Heat and I saw Monsters U by myself. There's a few coming out soon that I want to see. I have the little pool set up so I'm trying to get in it as much as possible.

We have some new neighbors next door. The guy has been living there for almost 2 months and his wife and son finally got there a week ago. I have yet to meet them but today he was mowing without his shirt on. Haha! He actually grew up in a town 20 minutes away and I know his Grandpa, but she's from the Philly area and this seems like a huge adjustment to her. Dad has talked to both of them and shares the details.

----------

So... I know this should be a happy entry, but it's my damn diary and I also need to vent!

I haven't heard from Mark since that bullshit back in May. Once again I'm trying to move on, and during the night he txted me. Thank God I was exhausted and didn't hear it because I would've been pissed. Here's today's conversation and how I felt after each thing (--).

Mark: Still miss me?

--I noticed this txt around 7:00AM when I woke up and looked to see what time it was. It was kind of shocking, but luckily I was still tired and fell back to sleep.--

Me: Yes...........

--I debated what to say to him and even if I should txt him back. I never responded until noonish. The sad thing? It's the truth.--

Mark: Sorry
Mark: I do miss you too

--I got these 2 txts at work a few hours later. I didn't know what to think. I wanted to be happy knowing that he misses me.--

Me: Then why did you go MIA?

--OF COURSE I was going to ask this! But I was scared of the answer...--

Mark: Girl

--Ok... Does this mean you HAD a girlfriend and stopped talking to me, or does this mean you HAVE a girlfriend and you're confusing me?--

Me: And now what?

--I want to know what's going on between us now.--

Mark: Miss you.

--What the fuck? Like always he doesn't answer the question.--

Me: Do you still have a gf?

--Apparently I have to be blunt because he isn't going to be clear about it. I'm dreading the answer--

Mark: Yes

--My heart shattered. I always told myself that I wish he would've just told me if he had a girlfriend instead of going MIA, but now that I know the truth it still hurts. I honestly think it hurts more.--

Me: Ok.

--What else was I supposed to say?--

----------

Part of me wishes he would've never txted me again, that I never found out he has a girlfriend. But then again, why is he txting me and saying that he misses me? Why did he all of a sudden come back after months, especially when he STILL has a girlfriend. What does he want from me that he isn't getting from her? I have no idea how long he's been with her, but he still shouldn't be doing it. I'm surprised he STILL has me in his phone, and he must STILL be thinking about me. I hope she never looks at his phone and finds that, but if she does that's his problem. I think back to May and what he said to me then, and I feel like that could be a form of cheating. Asking if I'm horny, calling me his slave, calling me on the phone... Hmmm.


I shouldn't care, but I do. I shouldn't want him, but I do. I shouldn't think, but I do.






 

previous entry: This Silence is Deafening

next entry: Has it really been 4 years?

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RYC: she just used more diapers

[Mommy2Aiden|0 likes] [|reply]

I really think he is an idiot.

[~Kimberly~|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC: yes it is citris lane

[Mommy2Aiden|0 likes] [|reply]

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