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What's your secret?
by BloopSecrets

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How Can I Be Okay With This?


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I had an abortion, something in which I never thought I could do until I walked in those shoes, where I had to make a choice. I hate that I am so okay with it but then I am thankful I am okay with it! I just don't know...


I submitted a secret called "How can I be okay with this?" published on 08/04/2015. Recently I have been thinking about the child I did not have and wondering if I would ever have the chance to be a mom again. Been wondering the 'What If's' lately and out of some random act, I decided to come back to Bloop and check out my old diary...

I am thankful I did because I am thankful for the comments that were left. I still struggle and I always will. I knew in due time I may not hurt as much but it's coming up on a year and with all my friends having babies right now, my heart is pretty broken. I cry in silence but I continue to hold my head up and look at the little boy I do have. I know my choice was right for me, but nonetheless, still a very hard and painful one. I will honor him or her every year, for as long as i can.

This was a lesson that I was pretty aware of but never experienced. You can always say you would never do such a thing, but you really don't know until you walk in those shoes. I never thought in a million years i'd have an abortion. I am pro-choice, but for me, I just didn't think I could. Then, I cried for a week. I looked at the son I already had and thought how in the world can I care for these two.. I know there were other choices, but i knew this was the right one for me. I hope one day I can find peace with my choice and the tears will stop falling.. but for now, my heart aches and I will cry my waterfalls and pick up the pieces.

Bless you all and I hope everything you do is the right choice for you! You all are amazing and do not let anyone tell you different!

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It's normal to feel conflicted about a life-changing decision. I believe that being okay with it means that it was the right decision for you. Use this experience to make the best of the opportunity you have now to do amazing things in your life.
[JessicaStar] [reply]

If you did it (especially since you thought it was something you'd never do) you obviously had a good reason and you shouldn't feel guilty for making the choice that was right for you! [Poetic Justice] [reply]

everything is going to be alright, everything happens for a reason. this happened to my mom recently she was heart broken but she had to do it. everybody has their reasons in doing things. life moves on you gotta go with the flow. I hope your feeling better. my best to you - TRIPPYHIPPIE [psychedelic_mess] [reply]

every event in life is a lesson learned.... [Ethan JamesStar] [reply]

I am definitely praying for you during this time. I know how difficult this decision can be. [*All by Love*] [reply]

It's a choice that wasn't made lightly, and there's nothing wrong with being okay with it. It makes it easier to move forward with life in the best way for you. There are going to be some days where the okay-ness is less or greater than other days, but don't ever let those not-so-okay days hinder your spirit and your opportunity to be amazing. [ ✌-mel-☮Star] [reply]

This is never a choice that someone makes without it being preceded with intense thought and weighing options. You did what you knew was right for you, and clearly you still know that it was right for you, and there is no reason you should feel badly. Having an abortion is something that you'll never forget, but that doesn't have to be a bad thing. I'm glad you had the presence of mind to know that you have every right to control your body and what it goes through. Solidarity, sister, anyone who makes you feel like you shouldn't be okay with this or that you're less of a person for having done it is flat out wrong, there's just no other way to say it. [unusual_gem_appeared] [reply]

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