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What Dreams May Come
by Utter Silence

previous entry: PROM DRESS

next entry: Snow in Spring and random ramblings

Oh woe is me

01/24/2009

icon quote
WhEn PuSh CoMeS tO sHoVe

All right this is an update. Well a little update - I think. So I had told my friends (Natalie and Brittany) that I would ask Brian by the end of the week (Friday). And I kept putting it off and putting it off, and I was going to do it at lunch but, like, I did not want to put him on the spot or anything with everyone looking at him.

My timing was still crap, but I had no choice because it was the end of the week. Well needless to say, he had said "I'm not sure I'm going." Don't get me wrong, that is not the answer I wanted to hear. Was it surprising? No. I just have this itchy feeling that one of my friends will talk to him and get him to go with me, and that is not what I want. I don't want to be a pity date. And if he really does not want to go with me, or just doesn't want to go at all it is fine with me. It really is.

The only problem is that I have two warring sides now. My rational side, and my angsty (oh woe is me) side. My rational side is basically saying the above. It is all right. Don't worry about, don't obsess over it. You planned on going with or without a date to prom. You can always ask Cort - as just friends, of course. It's no big deal. So what? Who the freak cares? At least I asked, and gave it a try.

Now my angsty side... well that is not a pretty picture. Oh no, way. It is saying, I knew this was going to happen. Can I blame him for not wanting to go, especially with me? I've never had a guy ask me out before, and what do I do? I ask a guy out, and what happens? Well, what do you think you idiot! You get rejected, why would he want to go with you anyway? I'm not good enough, and there are so many other people prettier than I am. I mean really, he would have to be blind to go with me. And yes, my dress was a size 8 (see prev. entry) but that doesn't mean anything, I'm still ugly as ever. Why did I even try when I knew what the answer was going to be.

You get the picture. But I am trying. I am trying to listen to the rational side. But it is hard when all I really want to do is wallow and cry and just take self-pity on myself. But, I just can't. That isn't going to get me anywhere and it is no use. But I still want to.

(Psstt... thanks for all of the compliments on the dress, if only that were me in it. ^_^) Also, my friend, Natalie, well she was a size 10 in her dress and to my above statement that I am not that pretty. So she is bigger than I am, but she is so pretty. It is almost not even fair. And just my food for thought on how size doesn't matter. Please don't take that the wrong way, because I am not meaning that she is fat, just bigger than me - bigger hips and stuff. But so, so, so very pretty. I wish I could look half as good as she does.



- this layout was made by simple layouts.

previous entry: PROM DRESS

next entry: Snow in Spring and random ramblings

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You had the guts to ask him, that's all that matters. And that's awesome. Most people would kill to have that kind of courage, and I'm sure it will pay off one day soon. It's his loss, and I'm sure you'll look great in that dress! It's really pretty!

[Poetic JusticeStar|0 likes] [|reply]

Sweetie, don't be down on yourself. You're beautiful inside and out. It's been a while since I've seen a picture of you, but you are beautiful, Rachee! Whether you choose to believe it or not.

Looks are a very little part of a person, anyways. What makes up a person is 90% personality&heart and 10% looks. Because you can be the most beautiful person in the world but if you're ugly on the inside, no one wants you. They just want to kill you. Looks will only do so much for you.

As for Brian.. At least you had courage. You put yourself out there. I have trouble putting myself out there. You tried.. and that's what matters!

[~shinelikestars.|0 likes] [|reply]

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