i've found skeletons grow stronger when kept from the light. | 06/23/2010 |
Currently: [Tick Tock:] 235am
[Ends In Y:] Wednesday
[Munching:] Nothing
[Slurping:] Nothing
[Not Naked:] The Academy Is... shirt & AE jogging pants
[Air Pollution:] Nothing
[Chit-Chatting:] Away Message Says... !
Scream Me A Love Song. He's the one that never goes away. He's that nuisance you can't escape from. The car accident you can't look away from. He's the one that got away. No matter what happens or who comes into my life, it always comes back to him. Comes back to the never-was, but the maybe-could-have-been. The only boy to ever give me butterflies. He's not the one I thought I could marry or the one I wanted to marry, he's just the one who never goes away. The one who's always somewhere, some place. In my head, or maybe my heart. The mistake that didn't happen, but should've. The mistake that might not have been a mistake. He's the one I didn't think I was good enough for. He was the one I let my "friend" convince me that I wasn't good enough for. He's the one whose bed I miss sleeping in. No matter how much time passes or what happens during that time, it always ends up being about him. That's where my thoughts go. That's who they want to think about. Who they miss. He's my train wreck. He's the one I want to see, but I won't see. I make up excuses and call them reasons. He doesn't miss me. He never tried. I'd just end up looking like a fool. I'm being an idiot.. Excuses. Our story can't be over. If it was, it wouldn't keep coming back to him. He'd join the completed stories of my life, and get dusty along with them. He wouldn't keep being pulled off the shelf and reread. Maybe this story isn't supposed to be finished. Maybe I'm supposed to pull it off the shelf and burn it. Just erase it from existence. If only I could. If only I wanted to.
Shannon
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