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i should warn you, things you're feeling, aren't normal now.
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I understand your feeling. Last Oct. I was hurt pretty bad by a guy I thought would work out for me. All I wanted was him & I couldn't have him. I would txt and try to stay in contact but it just slowly started going away, and he would never just end it. I was his back up or something Idk. But then thankfully Jan. 25th 2011 I hung out with a co-worker I had been crushing on a we began dating, and were still together today. This coming Jan. will be a year for us. I truly believe he is my soul mate and that we both took these paths so that we could find one another. I am now somewhat friends with the other guy. My current bf at first had a problem with but he has met him and such now and I guess seems ok by it. Knows there is nothing there and that my love for him is strong. Good Luck to you hun.
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[FairyTale86]
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you are what you leave.
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Secrets and lies are very strange things. People lie, sometimes for no reason in the person's eyes that they lie to.... But in their eyes, they are not lying. Keeping the truth away from people is much the same, and many do not understand that. It creates so many questions and doubts in the minds of the people being lied to that it can literally tear people apart. Some people hold honesty at the very top of their priorities in life, as others see it as just something they give to certain people. It's sad, but it's true. Unfortunately, it is easier to lie to most. In my opinion, lying is harder. Once you lie, you have to continue to lie and remember the original lie in order to compound the lie and eventually live it. It makes no sense when you could just tell the truth and be done with it. I've been living my life in an honest, even brutally honest.... way. It may make people mad, but if the truth hurts.... it's working, right?
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[One sky, one destiny]
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i feel like i'm falling in love alone.
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I totally understand how you are feeling, my boyfriend left me nearly 7 weeks ago after 6,5 years together and i wish i had an off switch to stop the pain. I wanted to spend my life with him but he was too scared to commit to me and have a baby but he still loves me and contacts me sometimes and it gives you hope, they like to mess with us 
I hope it gets easier for you and me xx
Random noter.
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[lilmissmup]
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it's like a let down, so much for good times.
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 I think you're right. If you can't find a "partner" inside you, then you're twice as much disappointed when you're screwed over by someone. If you have yourself as a hideaway, a hideaway that you like because you're always welcome there, then you're going to be okay. You'll be able to forgive people and not be hurt too much. If you don't hate yourself, you'll never be alone.
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[Focalizer ]
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it's like a let down, so much for good times.
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you can't have this outlook on life because then you are not allowing yourself to be happy. others may fuck you over every now and then but you can't let those kinds of people do that to you. your life is in your own hands.. sometimes it feels like all you have is yourself (trust me, i would know).
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[Lady B]
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and it starts to show on my face.
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I hope you fall for someone good.
fall hard and fast,
and think it wont ever possibly work out
and have it happen.
I hope you experience
awe in just a smile,
just a glance or touch.
I hope it makes you soar
and crash and combust
so violently it shakes you.
I hope you find that one person
you can't live without,
that changes all outlooks
to life in all aspects
you may or may not have considered.
I hope you find it, and find it fullfilling .
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[Jess ica Murphy ]
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and it starts to show on my face.
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I enjoyed reading this.
I relate to a degree.
I'm tired though, so I must try and rest.
Read some of my older entries.
Sorta poetry ish.
I'll add you to my faves.
Read more in the morning.
Cheer up dear.
it gets better with time.
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[Jess ica Murphy ]
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i need to kiss a set of new lips.
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you need to forget what other people think, or what you think they think, etc.
i lost my virginity to a boy i hardly knew, and certainly wasn't in love with. i wanted to hook up with him again, but in no way did i expect him to be my boyfriend or anything that goes along with "traditional" relationship sex. i was fine with what it was, and so was he, and that's all that mattered.
i'm not someone who has all sorts of meaningless sex. any other time i've done it, i wanted the guy to call me again, we had a relationship, whatever. but sometimes you just know what you want, and have to go with it, regardless of social norms.
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[girlsetsfire ]
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