May the 4th......

I said i was going to come here and write about my thoughts and all the shit i have going on in my life and then I just sat and stared at this screen for 3 days. Its already May 4th and i cant for the life of me figure out where the time went this year. I'm currently eyeballs deep in bullshit and how to fix it all, i'm not sure. I have a child who is hell bent on joining the military. Why, because its their call for civil duty? No, because they plan to go to college  " a lot" and want the military to pay for that. What comes along with that though is benefits for other people involved, like a spouse. I got a bomb dropped on me that my 18 y/o plans to marry their SO this summer so that they can share the money from the military and the SO can get health care and benefits and a place to live (mind you, all of these things are already had) while they go off to....Iran? presumably? So my 18 y/o who cant remember a schedual, still has screaming crying crash outs, cant remember jack nor shit, has never had a moment of aloneness to figure themselves out in this world..... is getting MARRIED over the summer...... are you insane? an 18 y/o and a 19 y/o playing house, with grown up shit........

This is on top of my mom. She suffered a stroke back at the end of march and her care is running out. Once they kick her out of the now 3rd place shes been in come wednesday, i have no idea what to do. Looking at other long term rehabs, which no one will listen to me on the best one. She could go home but she wont get the rehab she needs at home.... she has a good chunk of money from retirement and she doesnt qualify for medicade because of that..... i have no idea what to do about any of this. I want to run away and never come back. Being forced into relationships with people that i hate because of this.... i just want to change my number and run away

 

yay for rambles, i'm sorry. Hope everyone is having a good monday..... is that a thing?