You speak of awe, and take every word from me.

03/04/2010

In response to Mandy's list of habits, here are all my little quirks. okay, 10 percent.

I'm too lazy to pull apart my Oreo's. But I draw the line at not dunking them in milk.

I don't care what you think. If I have to fart, I'm just gonna fart, and then laugh about it. And if any attractive girls are around, I'm gonna blame it on someone else. Every time. Even if its obvious that it was me.

I get bored with any and all sports. I do not care how the Cowboys are doing this year, and I will tune you out the second you mention a team or athlete.

I do not yell. I do not scream. But I will sarcasm you to fucking death.

I don't put the toilet seat back down after I pee. And if you fall in and come bitch at me, I'm just gonna laugh really hard about it, no matter how pissed you are.

I smoke...

I drink.

I cuss. All the time. Even when it isn't necessary.

I refuse to make my bed. I'm just going to sleep in it again.

I have no idea what I want.

"I make state moves like regular days".

I'm nuttier than squirrel shit.

I've been preparing for the zombie apocalypse since the first Resident Evil game came out on Playstation. (I also have the umbrella logo tattooed on the back of my neck.)

I have a fucking slew of tattoos, and almost all of them are from movies.

I will NOT poop anywhere but my bathroom. Fuck you. It is non-negotiable.

At least 65 percent of my day is spent playing guitar, during which I will most definitely tune you out.

I will eat the last oatmeal cream pie or drink the last of the tea, and put the empty containers back where I got them to buy myself time before someone notices.

I scratch my genitals whenever they itch, unless there are children nearby.