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I'mStillTatartot's Diary
by I'mStillTatartot

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My Mom Wont Respect My Parenting.


I just recently moved back into my mom's house with my 2 year old daughter. (temporarily, I hope.) Ever since, I have had issues with her not respecting my parenting requests. For some examples, I ask her not to pick Lily up every time Lily cries, yet she does. I ask her not to give Lily candy/sugar/bottles of milk before bedtime, yet she does. I ask her not to give in to Lily's crying at bedtime because she doesnt want to go to bed, yet she does. Why cant she just respect that I dont have the same parenting style that she had? I try not to spoil my daughter, (to extremes, anyway) but my mother does. Why? I've tried to ask her before to respect what I ask and she constantly ignores it. It's getting on my last nerve, and one of these times Im just going to blow my top. Every time I try to address it, she just gets mad. Im fed up. "That's what grandmas are for." "You cant just let her cry, thats mean." "She cant go to sleep without a bottle." WELL NO SHIT SHE CANT. Because you dont give her a chance to adapt to it. She gives her EVERYTHING SHE WANTS AND I CANT STAND IT. Just earlier at 8, which is about Lily's bedtime, she gave her a powdered donut! RIGHT BEFORE BED. But guess who has to stay up with her until midnight because she's hopped up on sugar? ME. Does anyone else have this issue? Any advice?

previous entry: My Life Right Now in One Word.

next entry: Do You Shop at Kmart?

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Every time. I use to pay rent at my parents and it's what happens to everyone when they move back home. As much as I addressed it, it didn't stop until I moved out.

[septemberocioStar|0 likes] [|reply]

We discovered early on that my mom didn't respect our parenting decisions, either, and now, thirteen years later, she has never babysat since. We will not allow it.
Would a simple, "It isn't your decision, Mom. I am her mother," said in a kind but firm tone work with her? It doesn't sound like it, but it may be worth a try. That said, I really don't see much changing until you get out of her house. Then you can impose consequenses such as, "Okay, you're not respecting my authority over my child. It's time to go home now." It won't take many of those visits cut short before she gets the picture.

[ Avonlea@ITW|0 likes] [|reply]

If you're close enough with your Mom for a heart to heart, that might help. Otherwise, you gotta pick your battles. You're living with her - for whatever your circumstances are - and you want to make the best of it while you can. You don't want to spend the entire time fighting, or worse, having her ask you to leave if you need to stay there. On the flip side, my daughter and I lived with my Mom for several years and while my Mom and I butted heads A LOT - she and my daughter are STILL very close. My daughter is 14 now and my Mom is literally a second Mom to her, not just a Grandma figure. It's truly a blessing to have that kind of a relationship with your Grandparents. So, while I know it's annoying to feel as if your parenting is disrespected, it sounds like she's just being a Grandma. Truthfully, if you're still new "room mates" she is probably just loving every second of time with her grand baby. I bet, with some time, the newness will wear off and she's going to stop spoiling her rotten every second she can.

[Lovin'MyLittlesStar|0 likes] [|reply]

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