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Loving my life as a mommy & wife
by Darenda

previous entry: .x. Anxiety is a Bitch

next entry: .x. Ah Hell

.x. More details


le strike

So, last entry I was aggravated and didn't want to go into detail much about everything.  So here is my more detailed entry.


Me & David We struggle with our addictions.  Sometimes we just want to get high or need to get high.  It's hard ya'll.  I've tried it all.  Honestly, on stressful days I'd kill for a couple of percs or oxys and just chill.  Smoke.  Drink even.  Plus we are stressed.  We got 9 days to get a $316 house payment in and can't.  No fucking idea how to get it.  Which is fucking great...cause ya know...its our home and we have no where else to live.  But at least I have a nice view while I'm writing this entry.  

I am so just....over the bullshit with Charity man.  There's the issue with her weight.  No I'm not skinny.  Hell since I got off drugs I've done nothing but GAINED weight, but don't have the want-to to actually do something about it.  Charity is 10....11 in November and weighs 218.  She should not weigh that much at that age and I don't know how to get her to stop.  She eats CONSTANTLY.  We tell her no.  But then she sneaks food.  Eats it wherever.  The other day I found 6 old ass rotten apple cores in a drawer in her bedroom.  Brownie crums in the bathroom.  Like, NO!  That's fucking nasty.  Pudding cups thrown behind Waylons bed.  She also steals.  Like, I found 11 lipglosses that come from the dollar store which are $2 each.  That is $22 god damn dollars worth of lipgloss that she now has to hand out as gifts for Christmas.  She had $60 something dollars a few weeks ago that she hid at my house.  She's stealing out of dads wallet, moms purse, and their college funds!  Charity fund started when she was born, she should easily have had over $2000 in it.  Now, maybe she has $20.  I'm literally so on edge with this little girl that I am so fucking mad that I can't even talk, I just fuss!

Ezra is just....ugh he has great grades in school.  But his behavior fucking sucks.  Coming home with yellows, reds, and blacks.  Like, when the fuck did they even ADD black to the color chart!  

Mainly my issues are with Charity right now.  I don't know how to fix this shit....and she won't stop.  All she does is lie and cry and steal.  I'm losing my shit with her ya'll.


previous entry: .x. Anxiety is a Bitch

next entry: .x. Ah Hell

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I have an addictive personality too. I know if I ever tried any highs, it would be over for me. so, alcohol and caffeine are my boys!
Hope you find the house money soon! X [The RyanStar] [reply]