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That's as impossible as nailing jello to a tree <3
by Shar

previous entry: Things...and more things

next entry: Awake again....night 2

I should be asleep

04/09/2011


black.rainbow.lyts











I hate being sick


So I really should be asleep since I'm pretty freaking tired. But I really can't sleep yet since my mind is racing with all kinds of things. Plus I'm horny, I need a hug and just don't like to be alone at night cause its scary, shut up I know, I'm an adult. Things have been really rough lately. I'm failing english and I highly doubt I'm going to pass Organizational Behavior but I am passing business law and accounting II. Now why am I failing? Because of my job. I've cut down to 30 hours a week, I have classes monday and wednesday in the morning. He always works me the night before class and the night of class, so when Austin started swimming lessons on Wednesdays I just told him I couldn't work wednesday at all. So he freaking has me coming in at 7am on thursday. My schedule is all the hell, I've been trying to read 8 chapters a week and do the homework but there are days I get off after 11pm, almost midnight and have to be back at work at either 9am or 11am. When am I supposed to study much less take care of my kid. And so much for dropping down to 30 hours, they call me when I'm not working, to come into work cause someone else didn't show. Wow, I wish I didn't have to show up for work, that I had the luxury not to need this freaking job. So these people aren't showing up, he's not firing them and he's not hiring new people. WTF? Does that not seem stupid to anyone else? There are so many people who are looking for jobs, he's just so freaking picky that he only picks certain people and they're all shitty workers. Does he not see the fucking pattern? He hasn't made a good decision on hiring anyone in months except the biscuit maker. He's been hiring pretty teenage girls and gay guys. I don't have anything against gay people, a lot of my friends are either gay or bisexual. I'm just stating a fact, the last 5 guys he's hired have all been gay and the last 8 girls he's hired were teenagers with no freaking sense. So what do we have? Not a damn thing. Not a good apple in the bunch, so I'm failing. And I'm failing because I don't have the time to do the homework, since I don't get a real freaking day off. When I tell them I can't come in when they call me, I hear a bunch of shit the next time I work about how they were shorthanded and it was crazy if only I would've come in. You know something, its rare that people answer the phone when I'm shorthanded, here I am calling 10 people and I get 10 voicemails, by 10 people who've all hit the fuck you ignore button on their cellphones. So yeah I really feel like I need to help you. The general manager is out of the store this week and then he comes back monday for 3 days, then he leaves on vacation for another week. So if the store isn't already a wreck it will be by the time he gets back. I was short a person on a $1000 night, for us 400 between 3pm and 11pm is normal. Most of the business is breakfast. Plus he gives me the slowest people to cook and my best cook is running a register because they moved him up to management training so he has to learn, so I'm given instructions not to put him back there to cook. Well fuck, I hope you're happy with 4 eight minute cars in drive thru...cause omg they spent all that time waiting for food cause your choice of cooks sucked ass. Am I sorry? Nope, fuck you general manager dude, cause you're the one who gets the fucking bonuses for all our hard fucking work. When was the last time you got really fucking dirty. Usually I stick up for him to the other managers, but he's been fucking up the schedule left and right and refusing to fire or write up people for not coming in. If I write someone up he has to approve it and most of the time he just tosses them. Wtf?? What kind of authority do I have if you're just letting people walk all over me?????? I wish I could find another job, I apply on a constant basis. I hate working fast food. There isn't a good part to any of it. I'd rather shovel dog shit right about now then make another burger for some ungrateful bastard.

On a brighter note, went to Austin's IEP meeting to set up goals for next year. They say he's one of the smartest kids in his class. He can spell his first and last name plus the first names of most of the kids in the class. Plus my lil man has a girlfriend at 4 yrs old. They say he's a lady's man but that there is one girl that he goes to when he's upset, holds her hand walking down the hall, eats breakfast and lunch with and they get upset when the other one doesn't go to school. I think that's so sweet. They also said that he didn't meet his goals for physical and occupational therapy but mainly because he didn't want to go, he didn't want to listen. But the focalin has been helping tremendously. They're upping it to, twice a day now. The teachers say they have seen an amazing difference in him, he actually focuses, cooperates and does what he's supposed to do. Makes me wish we had given in and done this a year ago. But what parent wants there kid on a form of ritalin at age 4? At least he's got another whole year in preschool before we have to worry about kindergarten.

My personal life is pretty much nonexistent. Work gossip has me dating an 18 yr old blonde nursing student that works there. I think that's funny since I'm a bisexual girl who favors men and she's a totally straight girl who favors men. But yet we're dating. Its amazing. I've been hanging out with Cliff again, he's been trying to watch Austin while I do things. Unfortunately we end up fighting a lot, mainly because we don't agree on anything. We're still fighting over him not working, its been over a year since he's held a job. I know how hard it is, but if that was the case I'd either quit smoking or find a means to get my own cigs if I'm smoking almost a pack a day. I'm glad I never did smoke, seems like such a useless habit, especially when he expects me to pay for his. He's in Mt. Airy for a few days to help some family move. That's cool, I needed a freaking break. I thought about hanging out with some friends tonight but ended up just spending the night playing with Austin. We played in the sandtable, I helped him ride his new bike, we played cars, watched cartoons and read a whole pile of books about the ABC's since that's his favorite subject. Oh he knows all his letters, and even if you mix them up he can fix them. He can count to 30 without prompting, higher with help. He knows all his shapes, colors, body parts and the names of a whole bunch of items. Some words he knows by sight, and he can say them. I'm so proud of him. But he still has no concept of safety at all, needs a full time aid for that reason, isn't close to being potty trained, doesn't have very good balance, doesn't have very good upper body strength. How do you help a 4 yr old build upper body strength? Any ideas? Well I've rambled, there is more I want to talk about but I don't have the time really. I need sleep. Night everyone.

previous entry: Things...and more things

next entry: Awake again....night 2

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