My mother is getting married! Her wedding will be 10/14/12, in three months. Well, she is marrying a man named Brian and he has two daughters, Jenn and Amie. Jenn is a drama queen. Bad. Apparently, so is Amie. This is a conversation that blew up between me, Mom, Jenn, and Amie about Jamie. Who is their cousin, and Kristy is mentioned, which is Jamies sister. This is about the wedding being an adults only wedding. This is all text message, screen shots, and emails. I will copy/paste and format so it doesn't look like shit. I have to keep this shit somewhere, because I KNOW it will bite me down the road if I don't. Enjoy!
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ORIGINAL CONVERSATION:
Mom: Ok I am very confused right now. Jenn, what did you tell your dad abt the wedding today and something abt Jamie and kids? Very confused abt this conversation.
Jenn: I just asked him if Jamie's girls could go in place of my boys since Kyle & Ethan are not going. Cause if Jamies girls don't go Jamie can not make it. Cause the only babysitter she has is Gram & Gram will be at the wedding
Mom: How old his her girls?
Jenn: Same exact age as my boys
Mom: My only fear is that if her girls go then kristys son needs to come then next thing you know adult only rule is out window
Between YOU and ME if kristy isn't coming, I hv no issues w it. I will explain
Jenn:Well then call Jamie and explain that. Cause i know the sisters are not close like me n Amie are. This is a group message
Mom: Do u think Kristy is coming. Oh. That's ok... I am Not hiding anything. Lol
Jenn: I talked to Jamie this a.m and honestly her feelings were hugely hurt. Especially since she was so excited to see me and Amie for the first time in 6 yrs and she just loves Uncle Brian to pieces
Mom: Is aunt Chris going??? Why is she taking it personal? I hv not problems w Jamie or her daughters. I was always taught weddings and funerals are for adults. Party's are for kids. So I am confused. I like Jamie and her kids are great kids.
Jenn: It's a very close family.. And when she heard on the 4th that no kids she said it broke her heart...People are just getting invitations so I don't know. I have to be back in Ky the next day. Cameron is in school. We will see family at reception and then i'm gone the next a.m. I work Fri.I only get three days
Mom: Ok! You know what I am damn if I do and damn if I don't here! So I don't care! So if Jamie needs to bring them, then bring them! But if this becomes a domino affect, I.,.,, will just shut my mouth right now! I seriously don't want this to turn into a kids party! Just please please understand that. I would hope people would understand that. But I guess not
Jenn: Well the only problem is You sent invites to people with kids.. They will take it personal..It is what it is.It's a catch 22. I was taught weddings were for families, families first including kids. And i am sure that's how she's taking it. But if dad's fine with it. Then where & what is the real issue??
Mom: Well ur dad wasn't fine w it until he talked to you today, now he is feeling the same pressure I am feeling now! In your wedding you can hv what you want and I WOULD respect that. OUR wedding should be what we want and I would hope people could respect that also. But hey if in 3 months she can't find a friend, neighbor, co worker , in laws to watch the kids. Then fine bring them
Jenn: I know that this is your wedding and all but it is Dads too and excluding his family is just wrong regardless of age. Make it a no kids except family kids. But to send out an invite to them (Kristy and Jamie) saying no kids when they are the only two in the family with the kids is a slap in the face. I am not surprised that Jamie was hurt. I would be devestated if my child was excluded from a family event.
Amie :Not to get in the middle of the conversation but this was sent to me with no regard for me not contributing. And please Melissa, I love you but don't talk bad about my family. We are closer than you think.
Mom: I wasn't talking bad abt ur family in anyway. However, I also sent the same invite to MY family and friends with Kids. No hurt feelings nor offended. This is why I am shocked this is even being discussed? I hv only been to weddings where it's all adults. I hv never been to a wedding w kids there. So again I am not seeing an issue here.And Also I already said she can bring them. Oh and Jenn please stop copy pasting my messages to your dad. That is not nice
Jenn: I think everyone needs to sleep. This is getting too tense. And I can't have sugar... So i can't have ice cream to feel better
Me: Ok, now I am stepping in. I was not offended that my kids were not included in all parts of the wedding. When I AM FOOTING THE BILL THEN IT'S MY DECISION. but guess what? I'm not. Yep it's Brian's wedding too. And Brian mutually agreed to the rule. You guys make my mom out to be some mean person and she's not! If you knew what she was paying then you would probably get it. Oh, and with the bad mouthing of the family??? Jenn made a little passive aggressive comment about OUR family I wasn't too happy with. You all need to put your phones down and get on with your lives! And here's the kicker... None of this is EVEN DIRECTLY ABOUT YOU! Instead of creating a fight over this, let Brian, my mom, and Jamie hash it out and step out of the equation. Ok?
Jenn: You know what! I'll gladly just keep my ass in KY Heather Cause I have NEVER ATRACKED your family I only know your mom. Secondly, melissa sent this a group msgs which is bringing more people into it than needed to include you heather. Further more it's just as bad if not worse than copying a msg! So to hell all of it. Jamie and I will free up plenty of space for who ever else needs to. If it's not nice to copy & paste then apparently you do have something to hide. Unfucking real
Me: Good riddance. The only people that need to show up at this wedding are Brian, mom, and whoever is marrying them. Your just that much less of an expense.
Mom: The difference Jenn, is everyone can read ALL comments, not just what you copy paste. And 2nd Heather you need to take a breathe and stop! 3rdly I DONT KNOW WHAT ELSE TO SAY! I SAID SHE CAN BRING HER GIRLS! Ain't that what you wanted?
Me: Sorry. What I said on my last thing was harsh Jennifer. Your father and my mother want you ALL there to support them. That's what this is about, them. Let's keep it that way, ok? 
Mom: I really think I will plan a S****** family reunion prior to wedding. Let me know the dates and I will set it up. Cuz I would like our wedding to be abt brian and I union as husband and wife not abt a family reunion. So let's plan it ahead of time.
Jenn: The knife is in the back already Heather. Good night!! All of you!! Just phucking good night!! This is so phucking drama Micromanagement Bridezilla and her daughter. I'm over this shit!! This isn't a wedding. It's a phucking train wreck
Amie: Everybody needs to take a breath and put the phones away.Night
Me: I agree Amie. Jenn I said something out of anger in which you are doing right now, so I will forgive you in advance. But a word of advice to you, my soon to be stepsister, be careful what you say. Just because we aren't blood, doesn't mean we all aren't family now. And we are willing to have your back just as much as your own blood. That's how we are. Sleep on it. Sweet dreams, hun!
Jenn: Are you phucking bi-polar!?! That is such bull shit And i didn't ask for your forgiveness!!!! You should have just never commented cause you don't know the whole damn story!!
Mom: Heather? I am confused w your text. Amie is suggesting every to sleep on it. Which is a good idea. Please seriously let's all say good night now! Jenn, good night! Please
Me: Excuse me, but you don't know me. Im just watching out for my own. I know more than you think I do. Good night Jen.
Mom: Heather!!!!! STOP NOW!
Me: I did!
Jenn: First your mom tosses out all the damn Hawaiian shirt me and Amie bought him. Then my dad's family isn't invited to the wedding Are we trying to change my dad? And detach him from his family. I once had a husband that did the very same damn thing! i'm looking out for my own!
He being my dad. So you don't know shit!
Amie: I have no desire to be in this mess so from now on leave me out of your group messages and I will coordinate the rest of the wedding plans with my Father which is how the grooms side usually does things anyhow.
Jenn: Wear a hawian shirt sis!! Heather Word from the wise; Don't use that passive aggressive shit on me again. I see right thru that shit!
Mom: I didn't throw away any Hawaiian shirt. So not sure what that is abt. And I am all abt family! So, cuz I want an adult affair that is taking him away from family? Really? Ummm before I came along Jenn when was the last time you saw your dad? So don't EVER say I am taking him away from family Good night everyone! Amie do whatever you want.
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Okay, so there's the start of it. I realize now that I escalated it more than I should have, but I did immediately apologized. Well, My Mom puts a status up on Facebook about re-reading your texts the day after and realizing that they mean something different today than they did yesterday. So, here are the screen shots:
So, that's that. My Mom decides to contact Jamie, since this is about her anyways, right?
Screen Shot!
So that should clear it up, right? Nope. Jenn wants an apology. So my Mom sends her one:
Mom: Jennifer, I was told you want an apology from Heather and myself. Heather already apologized last night, so there is the apl
Apology from her. For your dad sake and to stop this, I apologize. I hv read back at our conversation a few times today along w your dad and really cannot see what I could of said to get to the direction it went. But here is your apology.
Jenn: Wow, That's soo heartfelt. This went south because you txt all upset last night because I spoke to MY dad about our family. A situation that as of Sun afternoon I felt was not only NEVER. A situation, but was resolved. It got hateful when your daughter chimed in which never would have happened had you not of sent your original txt to me, Amie & Heather... You brought two extra people into a conversation thus opening the door for the attack from heather! Amie was highly offended and I'm ticked as hell. But hey for all i know you could've deleted anything from last night conversation before showing dad. Cause normally dad is sharp as nails and can put it all together... Would be kinda hard if parts of the conversation are missing. Which would explain why you were pissed at me for sending him your msgs. I already told dad I don't need a forced apology. You either admit when you mess up and offer heartfelt in life or you don't
You chose not to And that's fine! Well noted. To think at 50 you are still above admitting when you are wrong and actually apologizing like an adult instead of some spoiled teenager totally has changed my opinion on you. That only proves her apology wasn't sincere
She can't stop bringing it up. Don't send me another damn friend req. You just bashed me in an email to my sister. Publicly bashed me on facebook. So obviously you're not very sorry & you LIVE for drama. Get over it & yourself. You got what you want No go on about your merry Little one sided way
Mom: Sorry, I was trying to block you.
Jenn: Like i care to see your page!
Get over yourself
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Oh, does anyone see where I attacked her? Because at this point, I am being told I physically threatened her, and I do not see that! Oh well. The e-mail convo between Amie and Mom:
Amie,
I hate the fact this is going on in our family.
I wanted to call Jamie and to apologize for her hurt feelings cuz that not my intent. After talking with Jamie, she insisted that she never said that! She said that she told Jenn that she don't know If she could get a sitter. That was it. So, I insisted for her to bring the girls. I hope she takes me up on the offer. She also said she is very upset with Jenn for inserting words she never said! She said she could just kill Jenn for creating this drama that didn't exist.
She also said that she understood where I was coming from and she feels bad for ever saying anything to Jenn.
I understand you and Jenn haven't seen your family in awhile and I would like to make a reunion prior to the wedding. But your dad and myself feel very strong about making this wedding a celebration about OUR union as husband and wife, not as a family reunion.
I believe this was a non-issue made into an issue cuz Jenn wants to make this into a family reunion.
I was very confused because I just spent July 4th with jamie and we talked with her extensively about this very topic and she was ok with it and seemed understanding. We gave hugs afterwards and she invited Brian and I over sometime. She gave me a exercise machine. I also was confused about the whole adult wedding thing cuz we all talked about this for months and it seemed like a non issue with you and Jenn. And now all of a sudden it's an issue.
Remember that invitation you got is the exact invitation that our friends and my side of family got. So therefore the ones with children on both sides will be getting a sitter. Everyone I have talked to said they were NOT offended. (I had to call and ask, after our conversation)
Your dad is very upset that this whole thing is going on. As you know he hates drama. But feels that Jenn got him involved by her calling him and asked to talk to him to go into a private room and then made statements that were not true.
I am hoping this can get behind us and we all can move forward. I don't do well with drama and I will refuse to be a part of it anymore.
Also your dad had to laugh about the Hawaiian shirt thing, because he said the shirts don't mean anything to him. He started the Hawaiian shirt thing just because he wanted to piss off Bernice. But the one thing you all don't know, is that I have bought him 4 Hawaiian shirts. If you look at the pic Jenn has on fb of when Brian and I met Jeremy he was wearing a Hawaiian shirt. He said, and I will quote: "it's just fuckin clothes, I don't really give a fuck abt any of the fuckin Hawaiian shirts." ok he was pissed at this time.
As far as the dress's goes, every dress you all have shown me are nice, but I got to see in person. So I am going to bridal shops this week. Also on the sites it says 2 weeks shipping. Which means we still hv plenty of time. I was trying to celebrate my mothers 70 birthday on Sunday, so I really could get to involved in looking at dress's at that time.
If I say what I want I am a bridezilla if I don't say anything, then I really am not getting the wedding I want am I? The only thing I really don't talk to Brian about is the girly stuff, like dress's. Just cuz he don't care. He is a guy!
So, I hope this clears up the whole thing. Because at this time Brian and I will be moving forward and we are so done with this.
Even though it's me speaking, it's a united feelings about decisions on OUR wedding. And we will be having the wedding WE want. You and Jenn are invited to celebrate this wonderful occasion but the focus should be on OUR devotion and love for one another.
I know this was long, but felt like there where a lot of misunderstanding that I had to clear up. I hope you are with us on putting this behind us and moving forward. I tried to clear it up with Jenn, but she started the conversation very confrontational and I can't deal with that. Your dad was so upset he hung up on her and threw the phone across the room. It's a shame she didn't want to listen. She only wanted to argue. So perhaps she will get over it on her own. Idk? But Brian has made it clear we are moving forward with or without her. The ball is in her court. I hope you are with us on moving forward. We are all family now. There is no division between your side or my side. We are One.
Melissa
Mellissa,
I have included all of the people involved in the recipients. I believe that we should all know what is being said about us and what is being put in our mouths as well.
First of all, this whole misunderstanding has gone too far and could have been ended before it began and had quite a few less repercussions if dealt with properly. The reason it has taken me so long to respond is two-fold. I wanted to make sure I gathered enough factual data instead of hearsay for a proper response and because we all needed to take a step back from the situation allowing us all to cool off a bit. Unfortunately not all of us have taken that opportunity.
Secondly, It is very hard to be on the same page with you when I don't believe in your sincerity to actually put this behind you and move on. You have continued to bash my sister in private and public forums. I, nor my sister, have received a sincere apology for any of the indiscretions made since the start of this event. Those discretions include: the verbal attacks and slander of my family from yourself and your daughter, the threat of bodily harm from your daughter, the falsification of statements of all parties involved and the blatant lies (Hawaiian shirts included) you have contradicted yourself with.
This incident started as an innocent, thoughtful gesture from my sister to have Jamie's girls able to come to the wedding in place of her own sons. The reason the conversation took place between Jennifer and our Dad is because of the simple fact that he is our Dad, this is his wedding as well and the conversation involved his family. It was never meant as an action behind your back and to take the position of betrayal on your part was foolish.
From the start, Jennifer and I welcomed you into our hearts and into our homes without hesitation. We have spent countless hours together searching for dresses for your wedding to make your job easier. We have been in full support of this wedding and have planned on making great sacrifices to attend said wedding. In order for Jennifer to attend she has to miss work and will not be paid for those days missed. Unfortunately she has used up all of her vacation days dealing with not one but two miscarriages this year. Despite her own personal pain she is enduring she continued to be there for you listening to phone calls from you, searching for dresses and being supportive from many miles away. Through all of this her pain has been unnoticed and unsympathized with.
In order for me to attend this wedding, I was forced to back out of two productions hindering my advancement in my University program. I did this so that I could be there in support of my Father and his upcoming nuptials. Since the date has been changed to a Sunday, I now have to miss a day of school making me lose a letter grade in 6 classes dropping my grade point average and bringing me down in the eyes of the University and my programs heads of departments. Not to mention the cost we will both endure to attend with travel, dresses and hotels since we have been told via invitation that we will be booking a hotel room instead of staying with our father. Yet through all of the sacrifices we are going to have to make to attend we have not complained but have tried in every way to be supportive and help out.
This supportiveness has been met with hostility and can continue no further. I was worried last week when we spoke and I found out that not only were you hiding the cost of your dress, which you told me not to tell him that you had spent that much, but also that you were down to your last $50 and had your card declined and were "afraid" to tell him. I told you during that conversation that a relationship cannot be built on deceit and that you should talk to him. I even offered to talk to him myself. I have told you countless times that I am here for you in any capacity, but I cannot stand by while you hide things from him.
Regardless of the fact that the text message war should never have started, it could have been taken care of and this situation be done with had you sincerely apologized to myself and my sister. Telling my sister, "For your dad sake and to stop this, I apologize,' is not a sincere apology. It is an attempt to patronize my sister and appease my father. Then, to send this email, not to me but forwarded to me after sent to my father, bashing my sister and claiming innocence while putting words in peoples mouths who have acknowledged that these are fallacies, is a slap in the face to myself and everyone involved. When I told you I no longer wanted to be part of your discussions, that is what I meant. I told you that I would coordinate wedding plans with my father and you gave me your blessing saying, "Amie do whatever you want." I have no desire to be part of the malicious event that has unfolded.
Frankly after the barrage of attacks from yourself and your daughter via text message I can only assume that you didn't show that whole conversation to my father or he would be a little less supportive of "moving forward with or without her." If needed I have the entire conversation photographed to show anyone interested for reference. Many things were said out of line during that conversation but to claim total innocence and say, "I hv read back at our conversation a few times today along w your dad and really cannot see what I could have said to get to the direction it went," is ridiculous. You state that you hate the fact that this is going on in "our" family but have made no effort to drop it repeatedly making comments about the conversation and posting sayings on your facebook relating to it. If you want to move on then do that. If you want to be part of our family you should probably stop trying to slander my sister, but then unfriending and blocking us both takes the cake.
If you haven't deleted that section of the messages you will see that Jennifer was the first person to suggest calling it a night and putting the phones away before it got to the point of no return. So saying that it is all her fault when she tried to end it like an adult, is preposterous. I kept my mouth shut until you started talking about my cousin Kristy, assuming it was a private conversation saying, "Between YOU and ME if kristy isn't coming, I hv no issues w it." Kristy was my closest cousin growing up and although we are not close anymore when you spoke about not wanting her at the wedding that cut me to the core. Family is family! You have no right to exclude anyone in my fathers family. He has every right to make decisions regarding his family but you do not. I love all of my family equally and talking about any one of them hurts my heart.
Furthermore, stating that my father said, "It's just fuckin clothes, I don't really give a fuck abt any of the fuckin Hawaiian shirts," cuts me deep. His Hawaiian shirts were something that I took pride in getting him. Thanks for telling me that my father never cared for my gifts. That is a great way to not divide my family. As far as you stating, "I didn't throw away any Hawaiian shirt," please explain to me how Jennifer and I came to be in possession of several of these shirts because you said you were getting rid of them.
While I appreciate the attempt to "clear things up," your email just contradicted your actions. I am not sure how this can be repaired with such blatant disregard for my family's feelings. I am sure however that trying to turn us against each other and turn our father against us has made this unbearable situation much worse. If you can figure out a way to sincerely make attempts to fix this and smooth things over I am all ears but if your desires are to argue and bash myself or any other member of my family I want no part of it.
With respect and hope for the future,
Amie Lea H*****
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Ok, so that is the end of it so far.
To clear things up, my Mom only put up that Facebook status because Jenn kept posting pics and things about the situation at hand. Amie here is full of shit. Jenn didn't ave miscarriages, she only made that up for attention and we know it. Amie refuses to believe it. Mom wasn't bashing anyone here, she's telling her like it is! But bashing was the wring word. I never bashed anyone or meant to hurt any feelings, I said things when I was pissed. WE ALL have our part in this! But the only ones that have apologized was us! Oh well. I hope they don't come to this wedding. I really do. I have to be MOH here, and don't wanna be getting in any fist fights!
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