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You Can Dance if You Want To
by powerofwhy

previous entry: Super-Doofus!

next entry: The courtroom and the seige.

Burnt hair smoke, new gadget and bad old news.

07/22/2010

This is the first entry I am writing on a new laptop. It feels like a fresh start. I can't smell that new laptop smell, however, because I left water boiling on a cast-iron skillet and forgot about it. So now our entire house smells like burnt hamburgers and cat hair. But we will survive. Incense, incense, incense, you soothe the spirits, suck away smells, and cover up smoking in any enclosure.


Elle, our former roommate, the 92-lb goth drama queen just found out her ex-fiance committed suicide. Before he did he posted a suicide note on his myspace page listing reasons for his depressed state and subsequent decision. Elle was number 6 on this list.

I would have been insulted. Number 6 and you expect me to care? Write me back when I am number 2 or so.

10 years or so ago a beautiful girl with braid hair, dark eyes, and handcuffs had a crush on me. If I were single I would have gone for her, but she moved to Florida a month later and shot herself shortly after. The found her in a bathtub in the sweltering summer, body half eaten by cicadas. That sort of thing pulls your emotions down for a long time afterword like a cartoon raincloud that follows you around that noone else can see.

"I am just wet, ok? It doesn't matter how it happened, go away, I'm brooding. And bring me a towel to sit on, dammit!"


In the case of Elle, the police cleared out his social networking pages by the next day, it is now like he never existed. Spooky. One less target for spammers, one less abandoned profile, one less digital tombstone complete with a guilt trip. Ce la vie.

Do you have any interesting suicide or death stories? I have more that were lost last time Bloop crashed. Maybe I will retread more of this morbid ground when the alcohol hits me right. Until then, let your sadness drift in sea of sex, shots, and song. love, love.

previous entry: Super-Doofus!

next entry: The courtroom and the seige.

0 likes, 6 comments

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For real # 6 on the list. Wow I'd feel horrible.

[RaisingBean|0 likes] [|reply]

my ex-fiance killed himself. Left no note or any sign. He was such a happy person and had so much going for him. But his ambitions pushed him away from me and he picked his studies/career over me (and every other girl before and after me). He emailed me about 2 weeks before he committed suicide and apologized, something very rare for him. I always wonder if he regetted his decisions. I miss him so much sometimes.

[holyemoly.|0 likes] [|reply]

There was a boy on our street that commited suicide when I was growing up. There were 3 brothers and my brother was friends with them all.. i was friends with the youngest brother. I guess the oldest brother and youngest brother were home alone together and the older brother (sad, i can't remember their names now) started talking about the things of his that his younger brother could have then went into another room and shot himself in the head. Careflight had to land in our neighbor's yard but he obviously didn't make it. The youngest brother ended up staying at our house that night.

I tried to semi-commit suicide once. I took probably 12 sleeping pills, but not all at once.. i took them over the span of an hour or so. I just slept really hard. I did it because I felt horrible about myself and I thought I was in love with a boy that my friend was trying to hook up with just for fun.. or at least thats how I felt at the time. Glad nothing happened from it.. I would have missed out so much that I'm glad I get to experience.

I used to be very closed to people who said they wanted to commit suicide. I had a "if you really want to be that selfish then I don't even want to hear about it" 0 tolerance kind of attitude. Now I think I'd know how to better handle it if someone came my way who was having problems. Life is rough.. its hard to adapt to being here in this place. Humanity lives in such a limited, stifling state that we just want to be free of it and don't know any other way.

[Evidence Of Joy|0 likes] [|reply]

RYC:

Thank ya.
(:

[Duct Tape Dreams|0 likes] [|reply]

the police took the time to clear out social network accounts? that sounds odd.

i have... lots of them. too many for sanity, which explains much.

[seasongster|0 likes] [|reply]

I do so enjoy you.. I wish you wrote more often.

[Evidence Of Joy|0 likes] [|reply]

previous entry: Super-Doofus!

next entry: The courtroom and the seige.

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