I’m in a bleh mood lately. Everyone has noticed, they ask me whats wrong as if i’d actually tell them, so I just say oh nothing i’m just “tired” or i’ll blame headache or whatever. I don’t want my anxiety and lack of not wanting to be social spoken about. Why would I tell someone? No one ever keeps secrets anymore. Everything ends up on facebook or people whisper behind your back and one person hears and the whole world knows your business. Who can I trust? No one, well my husband but I don’t want to tell him either... i’m a debbie downer ya know? So I just keep it to myself... its easier that way. Talking about it just makes things worse.
Everyone thinks i’m this funny outgoing person but honestly I can’t stand small talk, I can’t stand talking to people I don’t know (face to face, online is easy but real life .. its too hard for me.) I don’t want to be there, panic attacks and Its hard to explain. It just pisses me off that I can’t be normal.
If there is any advice I could give... I saw a meme who was TRUTH! “I just want to raise my kids right so they don’t spend the rest of their lives recovering from their childhood.”
I’ll go to my grave this broken woman