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My Life
by ~*Invisible•∆•Ninja*~

previous entry: First injections done, 2 rounds to go

next entry: It's a lot to handle

Same old same old


I got my second round of injections and they weren't as painful as the first. So doc said that's a good sign. Also, my referral for the pain clinic was denied. So I gave up on that. I'm done asking my PCP for help. And once I get the money saved up I'm going to try getting medical marijuana card. I am still hopeful that these injections help my knees. Doc said it can take up to 6 weeks after the 3rd round to really know if they work. In the meantime I'm noticing more pain in other places. Plus I think I may have a uti or something going on in that general area. I had some pain and random bleeding that idk where it was coming from. But it still makes me concerned about my last bloodwork with my rbc and platelets being high. I feel a couple lumps on back of my neck and they hurt but they are like deep under the skin so it's not like some weird pimple or something. My left foot hurts on the side and feels like something is messed up  not unusual for my feet to have probs. Been that way since I was a teen  just not this particular feeling. My little toe on my right foot hurts and its red with a lump and idk why. But that's just new stuff. Lots of other regular pain I always have on top of that  my life sucks. My bday is tomorrow and no one even remembered. My mom even forgot Haha. Story of my life. 

previous entry: First injections done, 2 rounds to go

next entry: It's a lot to handle


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Wishing you fast healing ! Hope you're feeling on the up today! I hope you had a great birthday too. I am also a Dec baby. Go us!! [fireworks] [reply]

My bday was crap. Spent the day alone. Then my mom brings me donuts and cupcakes with dairy in them that I cant eat because of dairy allergy. But if I didn't eat them she'd be offended so it was either fight about it or eat them and quietly suffer. Told her I didn't want cake cuz I would have had to make it myself to be dairy free. So she brings home stuff that makes me sick. Haha.

Then my friend that wants to date me blasts all over my FB that I shouldn't have to spend my bday alone. Well he's 3 hours away and the only one that cared I was alone. My so called friends that live 2 minutes away didn't care. It was their boyfriends weekend and the first year they didn't make me cake and dinner for my bday because boyfriends are more important. So yeah. [~*Invisible•∆•] [reply]

Well first off, you're important and just because they were too preoccupied with their own lives it doesnt make you any less special to them. And if they eluded that you were, they are not special enough for you.

Man, my mom has done the same to me before. It's like, I am not saying NO THANK YOU and secretly wanting it, I want you to truly NOT bring me stuff. It's nice you thought of her feelings but don't compromise yourself to make anyone happy. You come first! It is awkward as hell sometimes to make that choice but you are #1 To hell with the rest of em.

A few years ago, i spent my birthday alone during a rough time. I ended up making my own cake for myself and crying on the floor eating it. I felt like a loser. I knew I wasnt but I was very sad in that moment and I vowed from that day on to never let someone make me feel small and to be alone on my birthday.

Wanna do -over? we can toast online together and celebrate with GIFs, Emojis and a shared Spotify playlist! Lol.

It is nice about the friend that made a point to announce your special day. Total bittersweet. He wasnt close enough but he still wished you a happy one. That is cool.

xo [fireworks] [reply]

Not complaining that he wished me a happy bday. But it upset me that he argued that I shouldn't spend my bday alone. He made it seem like I decided to be alone on my bday. It wasn't a choice I made, I just chose to accept that it was what it was. It just bothered me that he posted it on my FB for all to see. It didn't change anything of course because I was still alone and no one bothered to notice, but I didn't want everyone to know either. But I appreciated that he cares in his own way. [~*Invisible•∆•] [reply]

Oh I gotcha on that one. I would have been like, hey pal! You drive to me then.

Yes, I am sure it was all in goodness and not to hurt your feelings posting it. But that feeling for everyone else to see can be nerve-wreckin' and uncomfortable.

Today's a new day though, have you done anything fun for your first few days of the new aged youd? I am also a early Dec birthday baby so Happy Birthday, even if I am a few days late! [fireworks] [reply]

Happy birthday to you as well. I haven't done much of anything but the same old stuff I always do. [~*Invisible•∆•] [reply]

previous entry: First injections done, 2 rounds to go

next entry: It's a lot to handle