SHAPE of my Heart

I think the lack of sleep and constant up and down to use the facilities, as it were, were a bit too much for my body to handle yesterday.  I came down with one of the worst migraines I've had in a long time.  I was nauseous and light-sensitive to a degree I never thought possible.  I even started getting panicky, so I took a tranquilizer, curled up on the couch with a blanket and my kitty blanket of Jericho sleeping on me, covered my eyes and went right out.  I slept for most of the day, with only brief periods of awakeness through various parts of my beloved football games.

I caught the end of the New Orleans/Seattle game, and was pleased to see Seattle coming out victorious.  No grief from the in-laws this year.  Thank goodness.  And then I caught brief bits of the Colts/Jets game, but never did see the outcome.  I was happy though, that the Jets won.  That means that Seattle should be the team going up against the Bears next week.  (Oh, Leisah, we're going to have fun with that rivalry.)

Today it's the Packers/Eagles and Baltimore/Kansas City.  I'd like Baltimore's defense to do well, since they're my post season defense in post season fantasy football this week, and I'd like to see Aaron Rodgers do well over the Eagles - mostly because I can't stand Michael Vick.

Anyway, we never did get out to get my nails done, or do the grocery shopping yesterday because I was so out of it.  I didn't actually feel better and stay awake until dinner time.  Al made spaghetti, since that's what I was going to fix, and he didn't mind doing the cooking because I wasn't in any shape to do much of anything.

It doesn't look like we're going to get out until well after the football games today, so my nails won't get done, but we will manage to get the grocery shopping accomplished.  I guess that's something.  I could probably try and get my nails done at the nail place inside Wal-Mart, if I really need it.  I do really need it, so we'll see.  My nails need to be cut down, badly, and the Christmas polish is wearing off and chipping now, so my nails just look awful.  I suppose I could just take the polish off myself and try filing my nails down, but I'd rather have the manicure.

Other than that, it's going to be another day in front of the television, in my pajamas, until I absolutely must get up and get dressed to go out.  I've got a vested interest in all these football games, because of the post season play, so you can best believe I will be watching.

I thought I'd be reading through my current book, Sisterchicks in Gondolas!, a lot faster than what I have been, but it's still coming along nicely.  Fortunately for me, I've already completed one book for Twelve in 12, so anything over that is just gravy for me.  I've got a couple of books sitting here that I'd really like to read, but I'll get around to them eventually.  I knocked out a good chunk of my book last night, so I'll probably be finishing it in the next day or so.  I need to go to the library and order the rest of the books in this series so I can say I've read them all.

It's another overcast day here, and I can already feel it inside of me.  Stupid SAD.  I hate that my emotions can be so tied to the weather.  I just don't have any energy, and at the same time, I'm quite restless.  It totally sucks to be fighting yourself all the time, and that's usually what happens when I go through this.

It's SO difficult to know you have things to do and not have any energy to do them.  Al is going to have to fight with me to get in the shower today, or else he'll be going to the grocery all on his own, and I know he doesn't like to do that.  Sometimes he will go alone, because it's just easier than fighting me to get ready, especially when he knows that either the depression or the mania have taken hold of me. 

If he wants to stay within a specific budget, he's probably better off going without me, to tell you the truth.  There's things I want to pick up at the store, so if he doesn't want me to spend money, then he should go alone.  I really won't mind if he does.

Point to Ponder:  I was shaped for serving God.

Verse to Remember:  1 Corinthians 12:6 - God works through different men in different ways, but it is the same God who achieves his purposes through them all.

Question to Consider:  In what way can I see myself passionately serving others and loving it?

So the book, The Purpose Driven Life, has been talking about how all Christians are called to ministry, and in this chapter, specifically it discusses how God shapes us for whatever our given ministry is meant to be.  The combination of capabilities, specifically designed in us, is called our SHAPE.

• Spiritual gifts


• Heart


• Abilities


• Personality


• Experience

I remember when I went through the Lay Ministry program, we studied and learned about our spiritual gifts, but for the life of me, I can't remember what mine were.  I've been blessed with a number of gifts, and a heart of passion to use them.  So in what way can I see myself passionately serving others?  It would have to be in the way I used to serve others when I was the DRE at our parish.  I could serve by teaching in some capacity.  I loved doing it.  I loved running the Religious Education Program.  I doubt seriously if I will ever be a DRE again, but I could get back into teaching.  I could get back into leading a scripture study again, if I find a place for that in the parish.  They already have a bible study.  I'm sure something will come up or I'll be shown something for me to do.

There is an old adage that says, "on't put the cart before the horse."  Many people try to lose weight without a specific goal in mind.  Often people set a goal that is unrealistic. In our attempts to become more mature as Christians, we grow a little at a time.  God doesn't expect us to be perfect right away.  He knows that our groth takes time.  The same is true of our attempts to lose weight.  We need to take it a little at a time.  Crash diets and heavy exercise programs are not the way to go.  Our Christian growth should provide us with an example.  Let us approach our diets with patience and take it a small step at a time.

Today's thought:  Dieting is easier if we try to lose weight little by little.

I could go work out every single day, but why?  The exercise is always good, no question about that, but I'm not trying to kill myself or force a grand weight loss by adopting a regimen that I can't stick with over the long haul.  It's ludicrous to even try.  I'm happy to go a couple of days a week, watch what I'm eating, and if I'm lucky, drop a pound or two every week or even every other week.  I've stopped obsessing over my weight and I don't even know where our scale is, so I don't step on it every day or even every week.  I'm content to let the doctor weight me when I go in every three months to see if I've gained, lost, or just maintained where I am.  Truthfully, I think I may have gained a couple of pounds in the past six months, but mostly I'm on the maintaining side.

Slow and steady wins the race.  I didn't get like this overnight, and it will not come off overnight, and I both accept and can live with that.