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Case of the Ex
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11 Nov 2009, 23:45
Post Count: 239
not friends with anyyyy of mine. it would just be too weird
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12 Nov 2009, 22:10
Post Count: 162
Why do you think that it's weird? Is that because of how the relationships ended, or because you still have feelings for them deep inside, or because you don't want to be, or just because you don't know anyone who has done it successfully?

I find it comfortable to be around someone that I have known for years and years. They know me well and I know them well. Unless it ended badly or we never got along, I like staying friends with people who I find interesting, caring, or really like as a person.
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13 Nov 2009, 03:20
Post Count: 239
ha definitely don't have feelings for any of them. it's because i'm so devoted to the relationship i'm in now that i would never give a second of my time to any exes that i could be giving to my boyfriend. he deserves to be free of worrying about me talking to any exes. i know i would hate it if he would ever start talking to any of his exes again. also, i guess i've never really dated any of my friends either. all of the guys i've dated we've had an attraction from the beginning, so i guess i don't feel the need to stay friends with any of them since we were never friends in the first place.
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13 Nov 2009, 03:39
Post Count: 162
That makes perfect sense, and I bet your BF appreciates that, too.

There are lots of people who have that fear that if someone hangs out with an ex it means they'll end up back together. My last ex had an ex who he was good friends with but he hated me being friends with my ex - would even go through my phone checking for stuff while he was talking to her on the phone!!! I told him how crazy that crap was. I mean, there is a reason that people are broken up in the first place - so that means no getting back together... Guys have a tendency to have double standards sometimes. lol.

But now that guy is my ex [cos he was a horrible boyfriend] and dating some girl who won't "let" him be friends with me because she's too jealous and insecure about it, even though we were friends before we ever dated. Oddly, he was a horrible boyfriend but a good friend. lol.

I let it be - because I'm not going to try to be someone's friend if their significant other is uncomfortable with it in any way. If we can be friends, then great, but if not then that's fine too.
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12 Nov 2009, 00:26
Post Count: 56
i'm kinda friends with my first ex. i even got him a job at my work & people still ask me if it's still awkward. it's not. it's been four years since we've broken up. i'm pretty sure he's friends will all of his exes though

the other ex i haven't talked to ever since. he cheated on me & didn't have the balls to tell me. but whatever. i don't wanna be friends with him anyways
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12 Nov 2009, 02:03
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
depends on the behaviour of the ex, and how good or bad the break up was.

i'm friends with an ex, but we dated when we were like 12. another i'm not friends with because he behaved like i was destined for him and he lost his shit when we broke up. i'd like to set fire to him.

my latest ex and i just split up. we were kinda more best friends than boy/girlfriend towards the end anyway, so so far it's nice just being friends with him. takes some pressure off actually.
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12 Nov 2009, 13:59
Post Count: 27
im not proper friends with my exes but i would say hi to all of them if i bumped into them, and i speak to a couple now and then online. its all done and dusted now and any issues that were there are long gone.
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12 Nov 2009, 15:28
Post Count: 38
My Ex and I are... not quite friends but not quite not friends. We are in a bit of an awkward situation. He is dating my best friends little sister right now. We hang out occasionally just because we are both sorta "part of the family" -- my best friend's family. But it is REALLY weird when people bring up something that happened while we were dating while he is sitting cuddling with Sammi.
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12 Nov 2009, 16:18
Post Count: 47
oh geez, that is quite awkward. i definitely would not wanna be part of that situation. =/
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12 Nov 2009, 22:17
Post Count: 162
Dang!! That is weird! LOL.

I have a similar situation with one of my ex's. He's been around my family and best friends with my cousins for over 25 years. He's also really good friends with my uncles and aunts who live in the neighborhood where we grew up. My grandmother has basically "adopted" him. He has a key to her house and stays there if he gets too drunk to drive since it's close to the bar - and we all tend to go to the same 'neighborhood' bar so we do see each other, but we're not good friends anymore since he is dating another girl who grew up in that same neighborhood. In fact, when we were kids that girl and I used to be good friends and played dolls and such together. Now, though, she is much too jealous and insecure to allow him to be real friends with me and talk to me, but he is still around my family and as far as I'm concerned, he will always be part of my family.
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12 Nov 2009, 19:36
i blame mac
Post Count: 136
I'm only friends with one of my ex's. She's actually one of my best friends..but the situation was an interesting one to say the least. We were both dumb, but we're still really close. My other ex's were complete disasters and there's no way a friendship could come of any of them after we broke up.
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12 Nov 2009, 21:21
jessi bear(:
Post Count: 300
my first love and i are still friends. not the first person i thought i was in love with (because i was a very emotional young girl ;D) but my first real love. i think that the reason we're still friends is because we were so close and we meant so much to each other that not having him around just wasn't an option. it didn't happen right away. at first, it was hard. his new girlfriend was not a fan of mine because of our history and then after they broke up, we tried to get back together again, which ended badly. it's been a rocky road but he's a very important person in my life, nevertheless. i don't know if i'd recommend it or not. we've been through a lot and we still go through a lot. my fiance isn't crazy about it, knowing i'm still in contact with someone that i loved before him. he's not crazy about the idea of evan being invited to our wedding, though he did say that it's okay. evan's girlfriends have all been incredibly jealous of us also. we rarely hang out and the few times that we have were not exclusive. when we see each other in public, it's awkward when in company of our significant others because it's hard for them to understand. his mother likes to tell me she misses me, as does his sister, but it is a friendship that i would not trade despite it all because he knows me like few other people will ever know me and i know that he'll have my back no matter what. but i do acknowledge the fact that we're pretty rare.
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12 Nov 2009, 21:25
Post Count: 89
Im not friends with any of my exs..I only have to deal with the most recent one because i have his child..otherwise I wouldnt want anything to do with him either.
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12 Nov 2009, 21:33
Minda Hey Hey™
Post Count: 330
I'm not friends with many of my ex's except for a couple. One I dated for like a month in high school so I don't count him as a "true love" type thing. As for my most recent ex, he tries his hardest to stay in my life even when I want nothing to do with him. Too much stuff happened between us for me to ever really be his friend without wanting more. It's a very confusing thing for me.
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13 Nov 2009, 13:09
Let It Be
Post Count: 226
I have one ex that I'm not friends with at all, in fact I run and hide if I see him in public lol. I'm kind of friends with my other two exs. We don't call each other or hang out or anything, but we're friends on facebook and we'll talk and see how everything is going once in a while. And I'm good with that. I really wouldn't want to hang out with one of them, but the other I probably would because we were friends for a long time both before and after our relationship and it would probably involve lots of other mutual friends, too. It's been a long time since I was in a relationship with anyone but my current guy, so I'm long over any hard feelings. Well, except for towards that one. He's a douche bag lol.
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13 Nov 2009, 18:52
Post Count: 35
I'm friends with all of the exes that I was either 1) not in love with or 2) was friends with before we started dating. It's also a bit different now because I'm married.
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13 Nov 2009, 21:01
Blitch. [+1]
Post Count: 82
I am friends with almost all of my ex's. My boyfriend doesn't particularly like it... but the only reason I carry on my friendship is because I don't think it's any different than being friends with a girl. IF they ever made any inappropriate comments or were in any way disrespectful towards my relationship with my boyfriend I would terminate the friendship. One of my absolute closest guy friend is my ex. We dated for probably 6 months back when I was 18 [I'm 21 now] and he's one of the people I trust most in this world. There are a few of my ex's that I don't talk to anymore... for good reason.

Everything depends on your past and how things happened. I wouldn't trade any of my friends/ex's for anything. New boyfriends shouldn't effect friendships of any kind even if it is with an ex. There is a REASON why you're not with the ex. If the current boyfriend doesn't understand that then it means he doesn't trust you and then is the relationship really worth it?
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13 Nov 2009, 21:02
Blitch. [+1]
Post Count: 82
Oh and another thing I forgot to mention - my boyfriend and I have rules regarding the ex's. No hanging out alone unless in public [mall, food, etc.], we must meet the ex before we hang out with them [he's met mine & he doesn't want to hang out with any of his ex's so I've never met them..], and we make sure to hang out in a group or together just so no feelings get hurt. :]
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13 Nov 2009, 23:02
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
I'm kinda friends with one ex & that's because when we dated we didn't really date. He was still in school and I was working. We never saw each other & never really did anything beyond making out 2 or 3 times in the relationship because our schedules didn't allow a lot of time together. Though, we fight so much more now that we hardly talk to each other.

My other ex, well to say I hope he rots in hell about covers it. Fucker cheated on me TWICE. Stupid me I didn't learn from when we dated for all of 2 weeks in high school, because 4 years later we were together again. Hell even engaged. 6 months later he ended the engagement because & I quote "I don't want us to end up like my Uncle and his wife." Who are getting a divorce because they don't get along anymore. Okay, I guess I could see that, except that I wasn't the one in our relationship pushing for kids. Then a week after I blew an entire paycheck on going to see him, he broke up with me because & again I quote "I have to do things the hard way." He figured the whole "let someone go & if they come back they really love you" theory was going to work on this. Too bad I figured out that his baby mama is some skank he was cheating on me with.

I tried to be his friend because once upon a time he was my first love & I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. However, the lies & acting like a 5 year old child was just too much for me to deal with. Then last week he started emailing me from a fake myspace to "apologize" for acting like a child. Yeah, I would believe it & I would have forgiven him if he didn't tell me who he was via a fucking riddle & trying to give me a guilt trip because I was honest with him about how I felt. I do have to say that I hope he does grow up & starts acting like a man because his son deserves that.

Some people say that it's possible to be friends with an ex.... maybe. If you can then awesome. I just feel that, just based off my experience, the whole "they are your ex for a reason" means that being friends is probably not such a great idea. But that could just be me.
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13 Nov 2009, 23:09
kid at heart.
Post Count: 108
I really have no desire to be friends with any of my exes.
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14 Nov 2009, 04:28
- misseriin*
Post Count: 64
I had 2 nasty break ups so we are no longer friends. The one guy cheated on me and and left me for the girl he cheated with. She was a psycho bitch and didnt let him talk to me. We were best friends...
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14 Nov 2009, 04:59
Post Count: 263
I'm not friends with any of my exs, I tried it in the past, and either I still had feelings or he did. Plus, I am a very jealous person and probably wouldn't feel comfortable with my boyfriend being friends with his ex, and so I don't do it either. I do have an ex who is my friend's brother and so I see him every once in a while and we chat a bit and catch up but nothing like friends. I don't think I can be friends with an ex, they are an ex for a reason.
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15 Nov 2009, 06:15
Post Count: 34
I'm friends with one of my exes and another ex I had maintained a friendship with and he's now married to a good friend of mine, my latest ex broke up with me because she kept logging onto my bloop and was reading way to much into private messages between me and one of my exes that i'm still friends with.

but c'est la vie yet its funny cause i moved 3,000 miles to be with her instead of moving 100 miles to be closer to him
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16 Nov 2009, 05:58
Post Count: 2
it really depends on how mature the two parties are. Ive had three serious boyfriends, one of which i had children with, and we cant be friends, one of which just broke my heart, and I am friends with him, and the latter i am currently with but he was my best friend before hand. Its just different for everyone.
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