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Case of the Ex
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11 Nov 2009, 18:35
Post Count: 47
[b]Just out of curiousity, what's your opinion on staying friends with an ex? Why or why wouldn't you be friends with them? Care to share any experiences?[/b]

In my case, I know I can't stay friends with someone I used to date. I've had one guy try to stay friends with me, but it was a bad idea because he would always bring up our past which in turn made me start to miss that and I'd want him back. It was for that reason I had never attempted to be friends with any of my ex's.
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11 Nov 2009, 19:06
Post Count: 74
Yeah. I'm the same way as you, Khoquetishღ . Well, that's if it was an ex that I had something serious with. I have a few friends who I used to date but those are the ones where we couldn't get past the being more than friends stage. Personally, I don't think it's a good idea to be friends with them. It usually just causes trouble and hurt feelings in the end.
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11 Nov 2009, 19:12
Post Count: 162
It depends on the person, the circumstances of the breakup, the length of time I was with them, and whether or not I really wanted to be friends.

I have an ex who I was with for over 7 years who I am still very good friends with (as you know), and I will always be friends with him simply because of the history that we had together. And that's actually saying something about our ability to be friends because I left him for another man, and he hated me for a long time, but once all that died down, we became friends again.

I am not friends with other ex's, not because there are ill feelings, but simply because I have no desire to be friends with them. And there is always the fact that the new girlfriends don't allow them to be friends with ex's because they're too jealous to let them be friends with an ex.

When a breakup first happens, then it's difficult to remain friends with that person. But, in time, once the feelings are gone, then you can be friends with someone if you want to be. It can be done, but as long as there are any lingering feelings, it is not a good idea because it will lead back to wanting to get back together, etc.
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11 Nov 2009, 19:19
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I tried to stay friends with my recent ex, I really did.
However, him cheating on me, coupled with him not finding out if she had any STIs for MONTHS, coupled with a new controlling girlfriend who threatened to break up with him if he spoke to me did not bode well. I tried despite all of this, but he didn't want to know.

Meh, he's a douche ;D
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12 Nov 2009, 03:22
Post Count: 43
im still sort of friends with my exes, all of my high school exes I stayed friends with, but those were silly high school relationships which I don't really count as "real". But after high school we've drifted, as will tend to happen with most high school friends, though I still talk to them occasionally. The one other serious relationship I've had since high school, aside from the one with my now wife, we didn't speak for a couple years after the break up, then we talked a little bit, now we talk every now and then, we're facebook friends lol
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12 Nov 2009, 09:29
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
There are so many things that play in to it.

I am friends with a couple of my exes. My current boyfriend and the guy I was with before him are great mates now... although it took a while to get there. But still.
And then there are some exes where I just can't be friends with them. It just wouldn't work. I certainly cannot be friends with my ex-fiance but that is because I just don't want him in my life (feeling is mutual). I dunno... I think it really depends on the person.
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12 Nov 2009, 10:06
Mojo Jojo
Post Count: 278
I don't really have any exes. My first serious boyfriend was my husband. Before him, I had a few flings, and I've stayed on good terms with all of them. I did fall out with the guy I lost my virginity to for generally being a TOOL but we made up a couple of years later. If I ever split up with my husband though, God I don't know...we have a kid and that chucks all convention out the window!
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12 Nov 2009, 21:41
Post Count: 1938
I am currently friends with one of my exes. We broke up due to distance, and just stayed friends. We continued talking, even as we both moved on to other people. She's now with someone, I'm now with someone, and neither of us seem to have the slightest bit of feelings left from each other.
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13 Nov 2009, 04:18
Post Count: 322
It depends on several things for me.
1)How long we were together? Sometimes, a lengthy relationship can mean a BAD break up.. however it could mean a GOOD friendship underneath the breakup and worthy of trying.
2)What's the reasons for the breakup? Again, bad breakup equals hard to maintain friendship.
3)How long I've known that ex. If he was a friend before the relationship, I'll try harder to maintain that friendship.
4)Mutual friends. This is a big one. If you are GOING to see this person again on a regular basis, it's better to stay nice!
5)Work related - If you work together, you either maintain a friendship or you end up having to quit.

I'm friends with a few of my ex's. I used to feel a lot of hatred towards some of them - but now, I only wish them the best. There's only one of my ex's who I wouldn't dare speak to if I saw him in public (and that would be my daughter's sperm donor). Most of them, I would be friendly to. :)
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15 Nov 2009, 14:13
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
I dun stay friends with x I wasn't their friend when I dated em when I'm done with em I'm done
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15 Nov 2009, 14:46
Post Count: 1096
No wonder they are x's if you aren't friends when you are together!
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15 Nov 2009, 15:03
*~Loving You~*
Post Count: 507
*raise eye brow*
My rule was -- never date friends they add complications

And why would I want 2 stay friends with em afterwards? With all instant jealous pssoible from me or him or the new bf or gf we get?

They r x cuz they were bad men
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15 Nov 2009, 15:20
Post Count: 1
i couldn't be friends with any of my ex's either. if they hurt you while u were together that's not a true friend anyway. it also depends on how well you control and handle your feelings. and how mature BOTH ppl are and if they want each other or one even wants the other or not. there's a lot to take into account
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11 Nov 2009, 18:40
Post Count: 210
i've always been on good terms with all of mine, but i wouldn't call them friends much... more like, people i used to be with but still speak to! lol
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11 Nov 2009, 19:38
Post Count: 1096
I'm friends with all of my ex's, never had a single problem.
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11 Nov 2009, 19:43
Post Count: 308
My ex and I were friends for years before we started dating. After he left me, I refused to speak to him, until several years later, when he figured out that all he needed to do was apologize for his actions. Since then, we've been friends again. :P

I dislike having enemies.
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11 Nov 2009, 20:29
Post Count: 751
I stayed friends with just one of my ex's. He is passed away now, but he was the only one worth staying friends with. So I think it's possible, just depends on why you two broke up.
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11 Nov 2009, 20:52
feisty one.
Post Count: 25
I tried to be friends with an ex once before, but it was terribly difficult. I would always end up sleeping with him even though he had other girlfriends. And before anyone judges me, I wasn't doing it to be a bitch to the other girls; he was telling me he still wanted to be with me and was going to "leave her". I was stupid enough to believe him - all 3 times :(

He still texts me sometimes and I answer him but I don't consider him a FRIEND at all and I'm pretty sure I never could be, especially with the fact it would hurt my boyfriend too much, plus he broke my heart so many times. But I still like to know how he's doing from time to time - because well I did love him once upon a time.
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11 Nov 2009, 21:46
Post Count: 26
OMG I have someone I used to be best friends with from 8th grade and she keeps in contact with almost all of her significant ex-boyfriends. Come to find out she is also having sex with a majority of them as well. I am sorry I don't care if you are friends with your exs but god damn just cause you can't find someone else don't keep going back to your exs that is the wrong thing to do geeze. There is always going to be pressure there to go out or to be more than friends even if it isn't brought up at all. Then if she can't find someone new or something she went to match making on MYSPACE and started out as friends with the guy, but the HUGE CATCH the DUDE is MARRIED just separated from his wife who has 1 of his kids and 2 by 2 other guys eeeks. The guy even gave my ex friend a promise ring for xmas I almost shit my pants that she even excepted it geeze. But they are broken up so she says but they still hang out and I saw them one day kissing outside a store so I am not sure if they are broken up at all or not lol.
Long story short now don't be friends with exs so you don't have weird shit happen to you.
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12 Nov 2009, 22:01
Post Count: 162
I think that there is something wrong with this friend of yours...and that it's not the fact that she's friends with her ex's. I think that she'd be sleeping around with strangers even if she wasn't friends with her ex's. I know that it can be done that people are friends with ex's because I am - and it's especially true if you're friends first anyway. There's more likelihood that you'll be friends afterwards.

I have found, too, that the attraction is greater and the probability of sleeping with a male friend is higher if they're not an ex - especially if your relationship ended badly or you have lost all feelings for the person.

The problem really seems to be that a lot of people move forward in their lives but they carry those feelings for their ex's along with them, so when they're around the ex the feelings are still there. People often don't take the time necessary to fully get over the person before moving on to the next person.
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12 Nov 2009, 22:03
Post Count: 26
trust me this is why she is no longer my friend at all haha. But for some reason she keeps messaging me on things and trying to get ahold of me and wanting to hang out and I decline all the time and I had already told her I don't want to be friends with her so yeah.
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11 Nov 2009, 21:58
Post Count: 377
I've only had two exes (and a half-one, sorta), but I've remained friends with them.
One guy I only dated for a short while, but we were friends before, and it was easy to transition back to friends. The half was the same way.
The most recent was a guy I dated for almost two years. We were really good friends IN the relationship, and once he left for college, we broke up. It was kind of hard for a while, but about a year later, we started being friends again, and I don't find it awkward at all. I don't see why it's so hard to be friends with an ex. I suppose it depends on the break up, though. If it was a hard, drama-filled relationship, then don't be friends with them.
But if you were good friends before, then I don't see how it's hard to stay friends.
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11 Nov 2009, 22:05
Catch May If You Can
Post Count: 157
i am friends with 80% of my exes.

my ex Will and I are best friends, and we broke up mutually because we agreed we rushed into a relationship without building a solid friendship and realized we just made better friends than a couple and it worked out for the best

now, i am friends with another ex John, the problem with that is, we never quite put out our old flame (or,i should say, HE never put it out...i kind of don't like what hes become...but i care about him so i would never say anything) which has led to a lot of trouble in the past. we both have not physically seen each other in quite some time but we talk almost every day and its fine, so i guess that 1/2 worked out

2 of my exes called me a whore and said they never wanted to speak to me again, which is just fine with me
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11 Nov 2009, 23:18
Immortal Shadows
Post Count: 109
I'm still friends with two of my exes. They were both internet "loves", only one of them I've met in person, and he's the one that's in Afghanistan right now. The other one is a good friend too, even though we've never met, lol.
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11 Nov 2009, 23:43
Post Count: 492
I think it depends on the person and how the relationship ended.

I'm friends with 70% of my exes. I don't really talk to them as much, but when we do talk it's civil. There is only one ex I don't talk to because he was a total ass.
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