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Why do you come to the forums?
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28 Oct 2009, 13:42
Post Count: 162
I agree with that sentiment. Over my years here, I have had some topics and things said by people get under my skin, and my solution was not to visit that forum again, even if I kept getting messages that my post was being replied to. I stopped checking the box "message me when somebody replies" in my posts also. Because if I don't want to know, then I keep myself protected. And if something offends me, or if someone offends me, then I take it upon myself to not visit that forum again, because I know that I will be inclined to jump back into the argument again. I don't let curiosity get the better of me in that situation. I have to be strong enough not to click the link.
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28 Oct 2009, 16:04
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
That is why I left when I did.
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28 Oct 2009, 16:45
Post Count: 162
I don't want to argue with you, but even you told me yourself that you kept coming back to the forum because curiosity got the better of you... Then you said it was for a different reason. It doesn't matter what the reason is, honestly.

I was simply agreeing with Genes. If something upsets me THAT much, for my own temper, sanity, etc, I don't go back to that forum again. The time Red Fraggle and I exchanged words, I knew she'd responded to what I posted because I got a message... but I did not even open the message or go back to that forum because that would have made me want to respond back. By then, it was all a moot point anyway, and I didn't want to be upset anymore. I realized it was not worth me getting upset & I had more important things going on in my life at that moment in time. I knew if I went to see what she'd written, I'd have been pissed off all over again. (That was months ago, though, and I no longer have any issue with her.) And so, I never visited that forum again.

I'm sorry if I misstated your opinion. You did not get upset because people asked for research. I was wrong to word it the way that I did. My wording of it made it look like you felt something that you did not. As you stated to me, you got upset because you felt people were acting superior, at which point you feel there is no point in discussing it further with the person. I told you that I felt you should continue to defend yourself on that topic because you felt SO strongly about it. Because there are other people out there who wanted to know what you had to say, not just the person you felt was acting superior.

This forum was not for you or all because of you. Yes, our conversation "prompted" my curiosity as to why people come to the forums...but I posted it because I really wanted to hear what people had to say. I like hearing what people have to say. I like knowing what's going on in other people's heads. There is something I find interesting about it when you try to figure out what they think or do, and why they do it, and understand where they're coming from, and then maybe see if you can open their mind. Open mindedness is one of the best traits I think someone can possess. Some people I know come to start drama. Some people I know come to have their minds opened. Some people come to debate and discuss with people of like and different minds.

And I would like to know your opinion on that as well. What makes you come to the forums? Do you come to debate or discuss? Do you come to change people's minds? Etc, etc. I really want to know, 'cause you never really answered.
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28 Oct 2009, 20:58
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
Even if she wasn't upset about people asking for research, you made a valid point any way. There are plenty of other people who are guilty of the same.
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28 Oct 2009, 19:09
Post Count: 2651
Can I suggest you perhaps just stay away from the forums? You take everything really personally, and get hurt so easily, is it really worth it?
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28 Oct 2009, 12:33
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
I don't actually disagree with people asking for sources if someone wants to throw out the research card in their argument. That being said I don't think it would be fair to expect 10 years worth of research, with every book.... but SOMETHING. By making a comment, stating an opinion, or whatever, they are opening themselves to questioning by people who don't necessarily agree with them. And I'm sure if they wanted 'sources' from someone, it would be ok for them to ask.
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28 Oct 2009, 19:08
Post Count: 2651
Exactly. No-one asked her to provide 10 years of research... just something. But she provided nothing. I don't really see how ASKING for someone's sources of the 'research' they claim to have done makes someone arrogant. :P If they'd asked for my sources, I'd quite happily have provided them (in fact I did provide some), and it wouldn't even cross my mind to accuse them of being arrogant for asking. :P
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28 Oct 2009, 23:19
Post Count: 162
For what it is worth, you did not act arrogant or superior on that forum. You asked valid questions, which went unanswered, and remain unanswered.
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28 Oct 2009, 21:55
Mojo Jojo
Post Count: 278
Why do you come to the forums to post, read the topics, and what other people post? Do you come to post your opinion, to discuss the topic, or to debate the topics?
- Generally to post my own, wonderful, opinion. I also love a decent debate, which is increasingly difficult to find on here.

Do you come to ask questions of other people so that you can learn a different viewpoint?
- Not really, I'm always interested in what other people say, but I don't specifically set out with that in mind.

Do you come to make people feel badly for their opinions?
- No. Occasionally, I feel the need to pull people up on uneducated bollocks though

Do you come for the 'drama'?
- No, dramaz is a waste of time.

Do you hope to see drama?
- No, but it seems to happen anyway.

Do you come to try to change their minds or are you genuinely curious about what other people think??
- Some of the stuff I read on the forums CONCERNS me.

Do you come specifically to pick an argument with people or make snide comments to people who disagree with you?
- No, I try to keep the upper hand. As soon as it degenerates into insult-throwing, the person who remains calm and logical has won.

Do you like to find out what everyone else in the community, especially those who aren't your friends on the site, think about something?
- If I want to know, I make a post.

Do you think that everyone should have the same opinions on things?
- Good God no, that would be thought control.

Do you like talking with people who think just like you and agree with you, or do you like talking to people who have differing opinions, and why?
- Differing opinions, of course.
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