So I've seen a thousand of those e-harmony commercials and got into a discussion with my fiancee about the site. We both know that we would not be matched. So, knowing that we both won't be matched to one another, does that make us incompatible? Does a site like e-harmony really work and match people who are "perfect" for each other? If it does, than are people who aren't matched not the best for one another?

What are your thoughts?

The thing is, what does it really mean to be "perfect for each other"?

For one person, that just might mean someone completely opposite of them; for another, it might mean someone practically identical to them. You can have a couple who is completely opposite in beliefs and interests that lasts forever because of each partner's ability to let their partner be an individual and not let the dissimilarities come between them. And you can have a couple who has just about all the same interests fail to last even a decade because they have too many similarities and can't find their individuality anymore.

Compatibility doesn't necessarily mean you have all or a majority of the same interests. It simply means you have the ability to let the other person be themselves and not let it come between you.

I tried to sign up for eHarmony once last year. And they said that I couldn't sign up at this time because after searching their records they had no one I would be compatible with. I suppose they work for some people, but not everyone.

They said the same thing to me four years ago when I signed up.

I found it kind of amusing lol. Story of my life haha ;)

that happened with my friend brandon. he was pissed bc out of like a billion users, no one would like him lol.

I think I had the same experience a couple of years ago. Lol.

I'm sure I read somewhere once that they won't let you join the site if you don't measure up against their Christian beliefs when you take the test.

I think the emphasis is on people looking for committed relationships and on family values. I don't think it has so much to do with Christian beliefs specifically. Except for the question which asks what is your religion (and there's a long list including 'none'), there's no other questions which assess Christian beliefs.

Hmm, I think perhaps when it was first conceived it was developed for Christians, but as it grew that took a back seat.

From Wikipedia:
'eHarmony does not match gay individuals, which led to criticism.[12] Warren explained that he had not done the same amount of research on same-sex match-making as he had done on heterosexual match-making.[12] He also notes that eHarmony emphasizes marriage, and that same-sex marriage is not legal in most states.[12] In a discussion regarding eHarmony's lack of services to gay individuals, Warren, a practising evangeligical christian, is reported as having said, "Where Focus on the Family and a lot of these other places come from is that there are six places in the Bible that say homosexuality is wrong." But then he continued: "On the other hand, in the Old Testament if you work on the Sabbath day and you're guilty then you should be shot."'

I believe sites like that can bring people together. In fact me and my husband met on Cupid.com and on the 26th of this month we will be having our 3yr wedding anniversary, we've been together just over four years. I wasn't even really lookin for someone when I met him on there was just bored one night and was like why not. It's a lot different than e-harmony. I think i started to fill it out but had way to many questions but that's cause they use them to try to find people who have a lot of things in common with you. But at the same have a lot in common isn't always the best. Me and my hubby are pretty opposite for the most part. We do have our tough times due to being so much different but that's what makes us stronger

I've always wondered that too.
I met my husband on MySpace LOL

i never tried it... i mean whypay money to meet people?

i heard it works

I use OkCupid for quizzes, but it also has a dating element.

However, you yourself answer questions, and then put how you would like your ideal match to answer those questions. It seems a much more sensible method of matching to me.

Also, it's free! And it's a great confidence booster ;)

that's totally why I joined okcupid & then I started to get hilarious messages. Now I stick around for the confidence boost when I need one. I've met a few cool people there too. Most that try to talk to me are just nutjobs though.

i don't know if it works, but i always joke with my fiance that we should both sign up and see if we'd get matched together.

lol I always say the same thing to my fiance.

i tried signing up about 6 years ago, and i got that they didnt have anyone for me either haha...yay me?

But my brother and sister in law met on there.... they've been together for 4 years, married 3, and have 2 babies...My brother said right when he saw her he knew she was the one.

I'm not disputing that internet dating sites, and internet matching companies cannot work. What I'm saying is that, if you and a current spouse/significant other, signed up and were not matched, does that mean you are not compatible? What system or tools do they use to match people together?

My sister did the whole internet dating thing. She even was engaged to a man from e-harmony. Than it turned to disaster when he said he could not take that they lived far away from each other. But yet he was unwilling to do anything to change the circumstances.

I don't think it means you aren't compatible. Plenty people are matched on those sites and it doesn't work out. Some people are.
I'm not sure what kind of tools they use. I think it's based on this questionare you fill out. Your results compared to that of others.

I don't think it means you aren't compatible. Plenty people are matched on those sites and it doesn't work out. Some people are.
I'm not sure what kind of tools they use. I think it's based on this questionare you fill out. Your results compared to that of others.

I hear e-Harmony is a Christian dating site. Say your not Christian, I heard there are no matches for you. My friend tried it once to see and the same thing happened to her. With all those people on that site there has to be a match for everyone.

I'm a Christian, and I still didn't get any matches, so I'm not sure if that's why some people are coming up matchless.

DID YOU ACTUALLY PAY IN ORDER FOR THEM TO TELL YOU THEY HAD NO MATCHES FOR YOU?

No. You go through a rather large questionnaire about yourself and what you are looking for, then it sends you an email telling you that you can't be matched with someone.