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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Sex. How many is too many?
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17 Jul 2009, 22:37
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
So if you really loved someone, and they rejected you, that wouldn't bother you? Hmm ok. I doubt I am the only person who worries about their performance in bed from time to time, or doesn't want someone they love to reject them.

And yes, it probably would bother me, as people I know who were sluts in their younger life tend to be sluts as they get older (family friends, for example). That's just the way life is and why escort businesses are thriving.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:45
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
Of course we all at times worry about falling in love with someone and them rejecting us. But you are afraid of someone rejecting you because someone from their past was better at sex than you. They can reject you or get rid of you at the drop of a hat even if the sex is the most spectacular they have ever had. Are you saying you'd rather be the best/only sex they've had so that even if they don't love you, they stay with you? Because if they love you, they won't reject you. And if they don't love you, it doesn't matter how great the sex is, they'll still reject you.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:49
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
No, I'd be afraid of them rejecting me because I would think they'd be capable of that. It's completely stereotyped of course, but to me, someone who has slept with a lot of people is flighty and impulsive, and I wouldn't want that in a partner!

Of course, I COULD meet the love of my life and he could have slept with way more people than I'd like. But I'll get back to you when that happens, because I'd probably act differently if it actually HAPPENED.

Of course, this is all conjecture.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:55
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
Ah, ok, I see the difference in what you are saying to what I was saying. And yes, it is stereotypical. I've been with...*ahem* a few men. Most of them had been with innumerable women. Some of the men were that stereotype, some weren't. Which is why it's important to get to know someone before having sex with them. And I don't mean mere days. Even weeks. Try MONTHS. lol It gives you a better idea of the kind of person you're dealing with.
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18 Jul 2009, 04:59
Endless Love
Post Count: 102
Thats not always true.. I actually have a similar situation to Makayla. My husband has been with a lot of women and has never cheated on me and never would cheat on me..

2 guys I was with in the past, I was the first for both of them and they both cheated on me, one cheated on me with 2 other women and the other cheated on me with 3 other women.
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21 Jul 2009, 16:53
~*Jodi*~
Post Count: 162
You really worry about your performance in bed? Do a lot of people worry about this? I knew men had performance anxiety, but I had no clue that women thought of that also.

I never, ever worry about that at all. I know that I'm good in bed. Besides, men like sex, so they'll like it even if I was bad, but I'm certainly not bad. Have more confidence in yourself, chick!

I don't care about someone's past. I only care about what's going on between me and that person. And if they'd slept with 100 other girls, then I wouldn't think they'd throw me to the curb or say that I was bad in bed at all. That wouldn't even come to my mind. It doesn't matter to me.

I'm with Lavender Breeze on this one. The past is past, what's done is done. You can't change it anyway, so if it bothers you what's in their past then that's really only your insecurity standing in the way of a possibly happy future with that person.

[That said, sex is always better between people who are in love.]
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18 Jul 2009, 09:42
Transit
Post Count: 1096
There is no way to test to see if a man carries HPV!
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18 Jul 2009, 16:22
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
And the only way to guarantee he doesn't have it is to make sure he's a virgin and has NEVER been with ANYONE. Because even if he's had even just ONE partner, he could have become a carrier.
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18 Jul 2009, 16:24
Transit
Post Count: 1096
Which is why willys should stay in pants! Plus they are a bit minging!
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18 Jul 2009, 05:13
Khoquetishღ
Post Count: 47
because of STD's.
that's why i worry about the number.
that's why it IS my business because i would much rather lose my virginity to someone with 10 partners rather than 20.
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18 Jul 2009, 16:23
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
Like I said, the ONLY reason to know how many partners they have had is to make sure they don't have any STD's. Once you know they are clean and don't have any STD's, why does the number matter?
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18 Jul 2009, 09:39
Transit
Post Count: 1096
To me it isn't just the number, its the situation, someone can have had two sexual partners, but they could be both one night stands, in which case, I wouldn't be interested in that person, just as if someone had had say 7 relationships, all including sexual stuff, I wouldn't be interested. I think anyone my age with 7 past partners has to be quite loose, thats a big number for four years of being legal, almost two people a year. Sex is meaningless to some, to others it isn't.
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20 Jul 2009, 10:47
& skull.
Post Count: 1701
i would probably go ahead and have sex with that person, but the more partners they've had the more i guess i'd feel that maybe i wasn't as good at it as other partners of theirs may have been? lol. but really sex takes a few goes to get in sync with each other. past partners shouldn't matter.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:16
wollstone(d)craft
Post Count: 5
It hurts me to see everyone slut-shaming. This is the kind of shit that is used in court when a woman gets raped, they say, oh well, she is a huge slut, she must have had it coming. First off, sex is a healthy, natural endeavour, and as long as you are using protection, sleep with as many peeps as you like. Don't you all have better things to worry about, like your own lives, rather than how many sexual partners someone has had? Try being less uptight and maybe you'd enjoy the sex too.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:33
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
'This is the kind of shit that is used in court when a woman gets raped, they say, oh well, she is a huge slut, she must have had it coming.'

First of all, that's nice. Just because we don't like to shag everything that moves, you seem to think that we'd say a rape victim was deserving of it? Right. Ok. Your judgement skills aren't the best now are they?

Also, I do enjoy sex, lots, cheers very much. Check out my second to last entry ;D

I love these forum posts where people are all OMG GUYZ JUDGING PPL IS BAD MMMKAY??!
Well I enjoy judging people! I have been judged plenty in my life so why not do it back? People who say they don't judge others are lying.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:37
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I don't judge anyone based off of their sexual history. That doesn't mean I don't judge them on other things. Maybe like their personality, what they have accomplished in life, what kind of person they are to others, etc. ya know things that actually matter.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:41
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Why would what they've accomplished in life matter? See, it's the same. People always judge, for reasons that you often can't fathom yourself. People just need to admit it more :-)
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17 Jul 2009, 22:44
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I look at what they have accomplished in life because it can tell you a lot about the person. If they are independant, driven, motivated, intelligent, etc. All those qualities matter to me (not someone's sexual history). But that's what makes us all different. We all have different things we value in people.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:46
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Fair enough. I am the same tbh heh.
Friends who have slept with a lot of people don't bother me, but a future partner would, as I have already put somewhere in here!
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18 Jul 2009, 03:52
jodi
Post Count: 300
"Maybe like their personality, what they have accomplished in life, what kind of person they are to others, etc. ya know things that actually matter."

i don't know if i were to judge someone based on accomplishments - actually..i wouldn't. you don't know why they haven't "accomplished" things in life. they might be independent, driven, motivated and intelligent yet have went nowhere based on their atmosphere and other factors. i try very hard at everything i do and i have hardly anything to show for it. would you judge me based on what i don't have and things that i have won, etc? and maybe they haven't had the chance? judging based on accomplishments seems pretty silly. especially if you're younger because there hasn't been enough time to let a person develop and try things.

why would you judge someone based on their personality? maybe someone is rude because that is what their personality is like. can you sit there and say they're a bad person because of that? that's just stupid. it's them. it's who they are. who are you to actually make assumptions about who they are or what they do based on those silly things? i knew a girl who was extremely bitchy. i would stay away from her and tell everyone she was terrible. then one day i just started talking to her. i found out it was just who she was and that she was awkward around people and couldn't get her tone right. you are who you are. i stopped judging people after that. i let people be who they are and i try not to get pissed off. :]

i don't think you are a slut. i don't usually think people are sluts. i just assume [:S] it's a bad choice and move on. it's not my place to say "omg she's a fat slutty bitch." :o

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18 Jul 2009, 04:30
Makayla
Post Count: 751
Then me and you are two totally different people. I judge someone on their personality because personally I don't want to be around an arrogant, bossy, control-freak like myself. We would just but heads constantly. I don't think someone is a bad person because of their personality, I just don't want to be around people with "said" personalities.

When I say I judge people on their accomplishments, I don't mean that they have to be a graduate from college, or have all their shit together. I just mean they have made the best from where they have come from. If they are lazy and do nothing, then personally no I don't like to be around people that are like that. I like to be around goal-orientated people.

Thank you for not thinking I'm a slut. Though personally I wouldn't care if someone thought I was anyways, because only I know my life and my choices.
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17 Jul 2009, 22:39
The Ryan
Post Count: 414
I love a good judge. I judge myself constantly too, just so I'm not missing out!! ;D
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17 Jul 2009, 22:42
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Haha me too, although judging myself usually consists of, 'GOSH, I look good today!' ;D
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17 Jul 2009, 23:11
Endless Love
Post Count: 102
I'm going to say this at the risk of being judged.

My husband is my 7th.. I am my husbands 31st... And my point is. Does it matter how many people someone has been with? It doesn't change their personality.. But society judges people based on how many sexual partners they have had.. "oh they have been with such and such number.. they are a slut" talk shit behind their backs and never give them the time of day to even find out who they really are.
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18 Jul 2009, 04:36
Makayla
Post Count: 751
I guess both of us hit lucky number 7 then. My hubby is my 7th as well. lol
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