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Motherhood and Compassion (if you hate mommy dia
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6 Jul 2009, 21:44
Mami 2 ♥ 1
Post Count: 361
Last week I was watching the Oprah Winfrey Show. It was a salute to moms. I was watching and laughing my ass off at some of these comments and completely agreeing with others. So I went online and got some quotes. I have just copy and pasted some of the quotes to give you an example of what was discussed.

Oprah show quotes begins!!!

Oprah is saluting moms everywhere and letting them know they have support. "We hear from mothers all the time who say they feel alone. They feel overwhelmed; they feel sometimes inadequate. And you say you're afraid to admit the truth for fear of being judged," Oprah says. "So today we're creating a judgment-free zone, a sisterhood of motherhood where anything goes."

Bodily fluids are a point of contention for the mothers across the board. Vicki Glembocki, a mom of two, says she had a "pee incident" recently during a seven-hour drive with her kids. "I looked in the back, and the kids were sleeping, which was literally a miracle from God, but the problem was I had to pee," she says. "So I'm thinking, 'If I stop at a rest area, they're totally going to wake up, and I do not want them to wake up.' So I reach into the diaper bag, I pulled out a diaper and I peed into it."

Dee-Dee Jackson, a mother of five, has her own diaper confession. After running out of diapers in the middle of the night, she says she had to make her own. "What we had to do was use a maxi pad until the next morning," she says. "It worked so well, we took our time the next day to get diapers."

Vicki says the most surprising thing about motherhood was that she didn't feel maternal right away. "I swore to God that the moment my daughter issued forth from my loins that … my life would finally be complete and I would finally know my purpose. It was not like that," she says. "I couldn't get her to sleep. I couldn't get her to stop crying. I completely believed that I was the only woman in the history of time who did not have the maternal gene, and I thought I was completely alone." Four years later, Vicki says she's just now getting the hang of it.

The biggest adjustment Cheryl Hines (star of into the motherhood on ABC) says she had to make when her daughter was born was to accept the loss of her old self. "Suddenly, you're responsible for this little baby 24/7. You [used to be able to say]: 'Oh, I'm on my way home. I'm going to stop at my friend's house and say hi.' You don't do that anymore, you can't, and it's sad," she says. "One of my friends was going through a bad breakup right when Catherine was born, and I physically, emotionally could not be there for her because I had a baby."

Most mothers are prepared for sacrifice when they get pregnant, but Cheryl says you don't always realize how much that sacrifice includes. "Things like when your best friend needs you, you don't realize that's going to be part of the sacrifice," she says.


One popular topic on Heather's blog is sex and how it changes when you are a mom. "It took seven months [before I had sex after giving birth]. No one had told me that it was going to take that long after what the baby did to me," Heather says. "Any guy who wants to have unprotected sex? Seven months without it. Just think about that for a minute. Let that number circulate in your head for a little bit."

Oprah show quotes ends!!

I totally agree i did not feel an instant connection and bond with Moises when he was born. I loved him of course he was in my body for 9 months, I grew him inside of me. But when he was born i was just like. Um, hi, nice to meet you. I definitely thought we would have this instant bond and I would feel differently than i actually did. I didnt want to put him down or let him out of my sight because I was scared something might happen to him. But it wasnt the lovey dovey feeling i thought i would have.

I didnt know I could be pee'd on, pooped on, and vomitted on all in a matter of 5 minutes. My son definitely introduced me to mother hood properly.


I didnt know that baby boys got lil woodies. hahaha. i was like OMG!!! i later found out its completely normal but i was also thinking I am his mother I dont want to see his woody. haha.

I completely mourned the person I used to be before I gave birth. I had to make a huge adjustment that I didnt think would have to happen. I literally cried because i lost my body(i lost my smaller frame and breastfeeding felt like i may as well still be pregnant), my freedom (not that i am not free but i cant just do whatever i want to do now), my dream car ( i had to buy a mommy car because moises' car seat and stroller didnt fit in my G6 coupe), my friends (once i became a mommy people stopped calling and inviting me out). I felt lost like I didnt know who I was anymore. Yes I was still Tamika but I was definitely not the Tamika I used to be and definitely did not know how hard it would be adjusting to the new me. I didnt think my life would be completely turned upside down once i had a baby.

I was absolutely tramatized by breastfeeding in the begining. I didnt know it would be such hard work but I am honestly glad we did it and made it through our rough patch. I thought it would come to me naturally but I literally had to work for almost 2-3 months to get it down.


Ok mommies feel free to discuss....remember i would like for this to stay a judgement freezone anything (except something that would be considered abuse or neglect) goes.





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6 Jul 2009, 23:16
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Haha they are fabulous.
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7 Jul 2009, 07:13
brooke !
Post Count: 100
sooo true, lol.
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6 Jul 2009, 22:05
Lily-my one and only
Post Count: 62
lmao i'm not a mom, but these all made me laugh! and i nanny for a two year old boy and i was so shocked when he got a little woodie! i was like "really? thats possiable!?!" lol
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6 Jul 2009, 22:14
bakerjessica87
Post Count: 86
I watch my 2 year old nephew almost everyday.. first thing we do when he wakes is change his diaper to a pull up.. Every morning he has a morning wood.. and every morning he swears it hurts to put on a pull up because of it..he'll grab his penis and run around "it hurts it hurts it hurts!" I just tell him wait a few mins and itll go away.. and he's all good.
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6 Jul 2009, 22:20
Mami 2 ♥ 1
Post Count: 361
lol
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6 Jul 2009, 23:18
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Haha I so didn't know that could happen to little boys!
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7 Jul 2009, 02:38
Greta Garbage
Bloop Community Organizer
Post Count: 302
I didn't either...lol omg I want little girls!!!!
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7 Jul 2009, 02:51
»Olivia«
Post Count: 90
Hehehehe yeah, I've babysat a little boy and he had a woodie when I changed his diaper. It was quite shocking to me at first, but it's normal! They just don't know what to do with it yet. haha But this thread is cute. I'm glad I have a little girl. And I had that instant bond with her thankfully. It was weird that she was out, instead of inside of me, but the more time I spent with her, the more I loved her each day. and I still have ever-growing love for her 3 months later :) That quote about the mom peeing in the diaper cracked me up though :-D Gotta do whatcha gotta do!! lol I'll actually add one myself....

You know you're a mommy when you switch from your usual perfume to eau de formula (for non breastfeeders) or eau de baby powder. haha
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7 Jul 2009, 10:56
.November.Butterfly.
Post Count: 210
eau de breastmilk! i swore i smelt like yoghurt or cream cheese for a couple of months! i wonder if i still do but i got used to it?! lol
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8 Jul 2009, 04:58
Fiat
Post Count: 288
I am definitely sporting eau de breastmilk every day. lol!
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7 Jul 2009, 04:56
DecentralizedByGuilt
Post Count: 460
she peed in a diaper, lol


taking kids to a public bathroom is always an experience. not one i'm to found of. so i totally get trying to avoid that whenever possible, but peeing into a diaper,lol
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7 Jul 2009, 05:26
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
My bub isn't even three weeks old yet and I can't help but laugh at the fact that it no longer grosses me out that I've already been pee'd, pooped and vomited on more than I can count. Bitta vomit in the hair? No time for a shower, just wipe it out with a baby wipe - it'll be right lol.

And like the OP I found (find!?) breastfeeding traumatising too... no one told me what I was in for with the breast feeding... no one told me (warned me) what it felt like when my milk came in! I cried from that pain, yet didn't cry from pain when I gave birth! Go bloody figure! Everyone was too busy telling me how horrid labour is (I had a great labour so it has all been lost on me!), and failed to mention milk production is horrible.

Oh, and all dignity goes with breastfeeding... even if I WANTED to be private about it (and I try!), people are still too nosey and just can't leave you and your baby be to have a feed! I've had people follow me to different rooms, my mother pulled the cover I had over myself because she 'wants to see Alexis', and a family friend goes "Ooooh can I have a peak?" and before I can respond she's peaking under the cover to see how bub is latching! As if it isn't hard enough feeding her as it is (I use a nipple shield and she's really fidgety when trying to latch), without people like that! And the worst... family restaurants that don't provide facilities for parents!

No one told me to step to the side if bub sneezes during nappy change either... sneezing can push out farts... and most of my daughters farts follow through :P Nothing like a poo spray straight on to your pj's in the middle of the night, lol.
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7 Jul 2009, 14:31
Mami 2 ♥ 1
Post Count: 361
the only pain i ever got was when i went back to work and was to busy to pump or when moises latch was not proper and i would have blisters and sores. other than that BFing was painless.

I never felt the need to cover up I mean if you keep your blouse around his face none of the boob is showing. I used to have fun with Moises day care teachers cuz I would nurse infront of them. They used to ask me all the time. DO you want a blanket? and i would always respond "why? um..no thanks...hahaha"
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8 Jul 2009, 05:01
Fiat
Post Count: 288
Breastfeeding has been slightly traumatizing for me too. During pregnancy I did everything I could to read up on it, take classes, etc. I was really prepared. Milk production never hurt, but my daughter has a very strong latch. I could probably stick her to the wall if I wanted to! It's been tempting to reach for the formula but I'm sticking with it. Tomorrow marks six weeks of breastfeeding and I'm happy to say that it's slowly getting easier. It truly is a lifestyle adjustment!
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8 Jul 2009, 05:48
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
Ahhh! I am kind of glad that I didn't read up on it... I just knew it was better for her and that I had to try... but I guess I didn't want any expectations!. My daughter is actually the opposite... she is very hard to latch and it makes feeding times hard. I have to use a nipple shield because she had such a tiny mouth at birth that she had trouble latching and it didn't help that I have flat nipples either. These were two obstacles I was never prepared for (not that I think anything could have prepared me), along with the really bad wind she gets from using the shield. We're slowly getting there, 3 weeks tomorrow and I'm trying to wean her from the shield... and like you it's SO TEMPTING to go for formula simply because it would be easier... but I'm trying to stick with it as long as I can! Yay us ;)
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8 Jul 2009, 10:15
.November.Butterfly.
Post Count: 210
it really is a huge lifestyle adjustment! I knew i wanted to breastfeed and was really keen to do it, i had fantastic support, my hospital sent peple round nearly every day to make sure we were getting on okay etc. and as much as I wanted to do it for her I hated it!!!! i had to set myself small goals like 2 weeks, 6 weeks, 3 months, etc where i swore i would give up if i still hated it. it was like i wanted my body back after she was born and i had no idea that by breastfeeding i'd still be sharing it! We had weight gain issues and i had to supplement for a month and at one point she as getting more formula than breastmilk.
However i'm still breastfeeding at 19 months and its a really nice relationship, i had no idea i would keep going this long.
What does make me cross is people pushing breastfeeding on people instead of being supportive. breastfeeding needs alot of support! any milk is better than no milk and if a person gives it a go for however long they should get a big gold star because its not the easiest thing to do.
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8 Jul 2009, 14:47
Fiat
Post Count: 288
Wow, 19 months! A big congrats to you! I totally know what you mean about setting mini goals. My next mini goal was six weeks, which I met today! Now I'm striving for three months, etc. I'd love to make it a year, and I know I can. It's just too overwhelming to think that far ahead, lol!
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8 Jul 2009, 19:06
.November.Butterfly.
Post Count: 210
haha take it one milestone at a time! i was terrified of feeding to a year and couldnt get my head around feeding to 6 months even!! but when we got to a year i didn't see any reason to stop there as i was comfortable with feeding her by then and as they say 2 years or more is good.
I just realised shes actually 20 months today!

well done with sticking with it!
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7 Jul 2009, 07:59
Lady Lazarus
Post Count: 126
I think people tried to warn me before I had Ben, especially my mum who had post natal depression with me. I know now I had so many misconceptions about motherhood, and I remember my mum trying to tell me it would be hard work and it wouldn't be all the things I thought it would be. I thought she was a party pooper because my non-mummy brain just couldn't comprehend the reality of motherhood. When I had Ben... it was literally like being hit with a ton of bricks. It's the most overwhelming, life altering moment of your life, and it's a moment that lasts for 18 years or even the rest of your life some would say. Nothing is ever the same again. I didn't bond with Ben straight away... like you said Mami, I didn't wanna put him down or let him out of my sight, but the bond took much longer. For me I think I was so scared to let him out of my sight because I was scared somebody would see through me and see that things weren't as perfect as I was pretending they were! Of course we bonded eventually and I love him more than life itself now. Once I got the hang of it I figured, well if my life is already owned by one little guy (and I now adore that!) then I might as well make this twosome a threesome! So now we're waiting for number 2, and I'm expecting a whole different lot of nerosis' and mini-breakdowns.... but I'm sure, nay I know, it'll be worth it in the end....

Great thread. X
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7 Jul 2009, 10:59
.November.Butterfly.
Post Count: 210
i relate to that too! i didn't bond like they make out in the films... when they first put her on me i was like... who the hell is this?!! i then spent the next year feeling like she wasn't mine but was too afraid to say anything to anyone incase they thought bad of me. especially as i'd been hiding it for so long! at the same time i missed her when she wasn't with me and worried about her constantly! a very bizarre time.
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7 Jul 2009, 10:07
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
I don't think I've ever seen a little boy with a woody before.
My sister has two boys, and I changed both of their diapers all of the time, and even helped with potty training both of them, never saw anything like that.
But then again I wasn't the primary diaper changer lol.

Good to have the heads up on that one though. If/when I have boys, I won't be so shocked then ;D
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7 Jul 2009, 13:38
Dreamer ♥
Post Count: 167
im a first time mum with a boy and yes he does get a woodie! lol! Not everyday, just once in a while! lol! Hes currently laying on the sofa crying and I don't know why. I still suffer from depression but its nowhere near as bad as what it was when I had him. I was so unhappy, at the end of the section when I was passed him, I pushed him away. I didn't want him. I didn't feel like a proper mother until he was a few months old. I was angry, unhappy and even didn't know if I wanted him. I wouldn't change him for the world now. He is beautiful and very happy.

I love the quotes though! They are awesome!
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7 Jul 2009, 14:26
Estella
Post Count: 1779
GOOD HEAVENS, YO - A WOODY?? I CAN GUESS WHAT IT IS, BUT GOSH, I THOUGHT WOODY WAS A BOY'S NAME IN AMERICA. DO THOSE POOR BOYS CALLED WOODY GET TEASED A LOT?

AND I TOTALLY KNEW THAT BABY BOYS GET WOODIES - ALTHOUGH I HAVE NO IDEA HOW I KNOW THIS, AS I'VE NEVER SEEN IT. I MUST HAVE READ IT IN A BOOK.
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7 Jul 2009, 14:35
starsmaycollide
Post Count: 408
LOL, it's not a popular name, I've never met anyone named it- the only Woody I ever heard of in America is Woody Allen.
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