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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
How young is too young?
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16 Jun 2009, 21:15
The Ryan
Post Count: 415
I am 24 and I am not emotionally ready for sex, yo!!
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16 Jun 2009, 21:17
Azkabound
Post Count: 162
That explains last night. :( You're the reason I keep the stuffed animals near the bed, hon.
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16 Jun 2009, 21:18
Fiat
Post Count: 288
There is no right or wrong age to be a mother. It's an opinion-based question, and one that is based on cultural norms as well. An 18 year old here in the U.S. is generally seen as "young" to be married and having children, but an 18 year old in, say, Guatemala might be considered over the hill in terms of parenting!
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17 Jun 2009, 00:15
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
True but it is a very different life style and mentality... I was looking at it from more of a western world perspective.
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17 Jun 2009, 09:01
.love.struck.
Post Count: 492
See, I disagree with you here. I agree about cultural differences, but 12 years old for example is way too young! Maybe in medical terms it means they are ready, but it just seems strange to think someone that young is ready. At least wait until they are 18.
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16 Jun 2009, 22:30
prettylittlekitty
Post Count: 78
18 is considered "adult" but it depends on how mature that person really is. But 12..... is really really too young. I wasn't even thinking about sex or boys at that time. My friends and I were out playing at the park still lol. I am going to keep my kids in a bubble! Not really... but I would love to.
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16 Jun 2009, 22:33
KerriBlue
Post Count: 260
In my honest opinion, here's how I see it..and I go on the record for saying I may get a little bit hypocritical here, but thats only because some of the decisions I made as a teenager I have come to understand just how wrong they were and how wrong I was.

Feel free (anyone) to disagree with me here, I'm just stating my opinion and what I feel, I'm in no way saying I'm right and everyone else is wrong...as most of my readers know by know - I support people who's opinions and beliefs are different to mine. It makes for a less ignorant world sometimes haha.

Now that the disclaimer is over - here's my thoughts. I don't think in the western society - or developed countries that at the age of 12 ANYONE is ready to become a parent - mentally and psychologically speaking. A woman may be physically ready, according to medical opinion - but going by the mental aspects - there is no way that a person can be ready at such a young age. I believe, in reflection of this news story that has appeared, that any CHILD up until the age of 15 who gets pregnant should have the child taken away. I don't think at that age you understand just how, incredibly massive the responsibilities and sacrifices are when it comes to having a child. I remember being 12 years old, and in all honesty - I don't think I fully understood how a baby was created - in my defence, I knew HOW it occured, I just didn't know it quite as clearly as I do now. All I wanted to do at 12 years old, was go to the movies and wear glitter hair spray & rub on tattoos..but I have to admit - a lot has changed in 11 years. 12 year olds are very different to the kind I grew up with.

I understand that in some cultures - it's not uncommon for young girls to be having children, but I believe there is a huge difference between a 12 year old who has a child in an undeveloped country and a 12 year old who has a child in countries like the United States, Australia & England. For starters children in developed countries DO have the education, they SHOULD have parents warning them about the dangers, they SHOULD have parents who discipline them etc etc.

As for the teen sex debate, here's where I'm going to get a bit hypocritical. I had sex at 15...or 16...I can't remember exactly - it was around my 16th birthday anyway. And at the time, and for years onward, I believed that not only was I physically ready, but I was also emotionally ready. Infact I would have argued that point until I was blue in the face. I'm 22 next month and my view on that has changed dramatically. I DON'T Agree - with myself - I don't think I was ready, I think I should have waited. I do regret the decisions I made simply based on the fact that looking back now, I realise just how stupid I was and just how stupid that decision was. I believe that, yes the laws should say a person is ready to have sex from 16 onward, but a person...should..take it upon themselves to wait until they are 18. Even then - it's a huge thing that shouldn't be taken lightly.

And even though there may be some great young mums out there - personally, I was not ready to be a parent while I was a teenager. At all. Financially, mentally, emotionally, physically. I was not ready. I'm also willing to say at 20 I was not ready...and at nearly 22 I'm probably only just getting to the stage of being ready.
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16 Jun 2009, 22:33
KerriBlue
Post Count: 260
whoa..write a freaking book why don't I.....

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17 Jun 2009, 00:08
Kelsey Lynn xox
Post Count: 150
the only point i disagree with you is the part this sentence.

"but a person...should..take it upon themselves to wait until they are 18. Even then - it's a huge thing that shouldn't be taken lightly."

i don't think they necessarily have to wait until 18. i think it should be "they have to wait until they are completely ready." because a 17 could be more prepared for the outcomes than a 23 year old, and vise versa. it's a touchy subject that's different for every person. but you did make some really vaild points. (:
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17 Jun 2009, 01:07
Mary Magdelene
Post Count: 506
The problem with "they have to wait until they are completely ready" is the fact that no one is every truly completely ready, and you are never as ready as you think you are.
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17 Jun 2009, 23:04
.Love.Freely.
Post Count: 54
100% agree with this. i commented on one of her eariler posts that I planned this pregnancy and sometimes I worry if I'm ready and I'm married and have a good job.
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18 Jun 2009, 12:57
Leona Wren
Post Count: 425
I agree with that saying! I was 20 when I delivered my daughter and to this day I am not ready for some of the things we have faced with her. I think with parenting, it's a learn as you go type thing. At least I know it is for me. I have my set boundaries, and ideas and thoughts, but sometimes I have to adjust certain things because it's not healthy for her type of personality.
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17 Jun 2009, 04:08
KerriBlue
Post Count: 260
(Grr I just wrote a reply to this and I don't think it save properly..now I have to remember what I wrote!)

Thats what I meant when I said "taking it upon themselves".

I have met some very mature 17 year olds, I have met some very immature 23+ year olds. Some people are ready while others may not be. When I said they should take it upon themselves I didn't mean they have toabsolutely MAKE themselves wait until they are 18, I'm saying they should set the aim to be 18...if they feel ready or believe they are ready before turning 18 and feel they are mature enough to handle every thing that comes with sex, then they can go for it by all means. If however they don't feel ready, they can see how they feel when they turn 18+.

I just feel if i could encourage anyone to wait until they are 18...I would..but I in no way wish to force that on any one at all (unless they are 12 years old, and then I wish I could slap some sense into them)

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17 Jun 2009, 19:02
Kelsey Lynn xox
Post Count: 150
yeah, i see what you are saying, i understand now. i agree.

i don't even understand how you could even think about having sex at 12. I think i was still eating bugs at that age. xD
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17 Jun 2009, 11:34
Lady Lazarus
Post Count: 126
I had my son at 22, and I did not have a clue what I was doing beyond my natural instincts to protect and love. Parenting is going to be a HUGE change to your life no matter how old you are. But I do know for a fact that personally I would not have had the emotional ability and mental strength to rise to the challenge of motherhood at say 16 - 18. Physically you may have done growing, but having a healthy body only gets the baby into the world and most mothers will agree that the real work only starts when they're in your arms needing you to take care of them for the next 18 years. It isn't a job you can do half assed either. You need to be prepared to make sacrifices. You will no longer be the number 1 priority in your life, EVER again. You need to be prepared to work hard to give that child the best opportunities in life you can, not to mention being able to raise them into responsible young adults themselves. And that's not something that comes down to luck. Parenting is a full time job, and you don't get a break. Of course I'm emphasising how hard and challenging it is because young people need to know just how big a sacrifice they are making. Yes it is rewarding and there is a great deal of love and I'm quite happy that my children are the centre of my universe... but we just owe it to those children to be emotionally, physically, mentally and if possible - financially - ready to give them the best start in life.
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17 Jun 2009, 11:36
Lady Lazarus
Post Count: 126
Sorry, would just like to add, in conclusion sort of, that a lot of women who have children young do so for very selfish reasons, and that's not a good place to be in mentally when your bringing a child into the world considering that the act of raising children is supposed to be a very slefless thing.
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17 Jun 2009, 12:41
Miss Murder
Post Count: 33
I lost my virginity at 14 and I wasnt ready I dont think. Though I was very mature very young I dont think I could have fully handled a child if I got pregnant but I would have tried my hardest. Im now 20 and I have a husband and a son and I do think im ready, I am willing to give everything I have got up for my son and im ready to sacrifice all my spare time for him. I dont think there is a right age for having sex because people are all different and no one will EVER stick to the age limit whether its illegal or not.
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17 Jun 2009, 18:38
kein mitleid
Post Count: 592
What's black and blue and hates sex?




The twelve year old girl in the trunk of my car.



Wakka wakka wakka.
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17 Jun 2009, 23:06
.Love.Freely.
Post Count: 54
wow
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17 Jun 2009, 23:46
Half Dozen Mama
Post Count: 93
no one should ever have their child taken from them simply because of how old they are. ever. Before we worry about how young "too young" is, there needs to be more of these HORRIBLE 20+ mothers that abuse & neglect their children getting THEIR children taken from them.
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