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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
21 and still living at home?
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9 May 2009, 18:04
Post Count: 51
i don't have a problem with doing the chores, really. it's just unfair that THEY don't help with the chores. they make me do most of them/all of them every weekend.
my mom is a worry-wart, and says that she can't sleep when i'm out all hours of the night.
but i keep telling her, what is she going to do when the time comes that i do actually move out and she doesn't have as much control over my life?
then she replies "you don't have to move out." with a laugh.
i think the underlying factor is that they don't have as much respect for me as they should.
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9 May 2009, 18:08
panda bear.
Post Count: 150
ahh it sounds like they can't come to terms with the fact that you're growing up. What I would do, is save up as much money as possible, and move out. I'm 19 y.o and I moved out last summer, right before I turned 19. I couldn't completely afford it, but I mean... I had two jobs at one point WHILE I was going to college full time to pay for my bills. I mean, I'm getting myself in debt at the same time, but this is the time to get yourself in debt. Why? Because whatever you're taking in college is going to help you pay for that debt later on. I mean, I hate having the responsibility over my shoulders, and I didn't think I'd move out till I was out of College.

But I was forced to move out, so I could attend college two hours away. Trust me, if you NEED to find a way to make it work, you will. And if you need someone to talk to, you can talk to me, I can try to help you out, seeing as I'm totally in the broke college girl situation atm. I seriously wish you the best of luck though, and I hope you can work it out with your parents, or work it out for yourself.
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9 May 2009, 18:28
Post Count: 51
i can honestly say that i'm not really in debt. and i'm thankful for that.
and i could probably thank my parents for that also.

thank you greatly for the luck.
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9 May 2009, 22:26
Post Count: 1096
So your not in debt, but the reason you have no money is that you are paying off debt? Not only that someone on here has looked up your state laws where wages are concerned which show you earn more than you say. You live in a house for free and find it disrespectful that you are expected to help maintain the house and to up hold your parents wishes, their roof, their rules.
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9 May 2009, 23:26
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
Ok, THEY don't do chores. But they are clearly funding your living expenses... your rent, your food, your internet, your utilities. Don't be so god damn selfish!
Wait till you move out and you have to do all the chores anyway, AS WELL as pay all that stuff.
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10 May 2009, 00:56
Post Count: 3
You don't sound very adult with the "it's unfair that they don't help with chores"...... who pays the bills? them... who is providing everything for you? them... who keeps a roof over your head.... them... they do a lot for you. stop being a whiney little spoiled brat.
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10 May 2009, 02:17
Post Count: 51
first off all, you don't know me personally. i am NOT a spoiled brat.
just because i don't agree with my parents does NOT make a spoiled brat.
and since when does saying "it's unfair...." make me less of an adult?
i've heard a lot of adults say that.
they are not providing EVERYTHING for me.
so, until you know ALL the details, i suggest you stop being immature and a bitch about it.
i was only looking for advice, which a lot of bloopers have given.
i wasn't looking for stupid answers like yours. thanks.

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11 May 2009, 18:55
Post Count: 76
I might suggest that if you are looking for advice the source you might want to inquire into are fathers and mothers of your parents age who will have a far greater insight than those here on Bloop who medium age is less than 25
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12 May 2009, 23:00
Post Count: 3
You want advice, give all the details. All you've been doing is whining that you have to do chores, and you have a cerfew.. your parents provide your basic needs to LIVE and all you do is bitch about having to obey basic rules.. Yes you are a spoiled little brat.
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11 May 2009, 18:54
Post Count: 76
my mom is a worry-wart, and says that she can't sleep when i'm out all hours of the night.

As a father of two girls I can tell you that this is pretty normal. It is hard to sleep when you know that they are out and not knowing when to expect them. I don't give my daughter a curfew, but I do like to have the respect of her telling me when she plans on being home.
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9 May 2009, 18:23
Post Count: 425
I'm sorry Erin I don't have any other advice except move out. But you can't right now. I moved out when I was 17, and that was to avoid problems like this, and I have the best relationship with my family that I ever have.
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9 May 2009, 18:25
Post Count: 51
it's okay.
thanks for your input though.
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9 May 2009, 18:48
Post Count: 274
I'm 21 and I live at home still. During the school year, I live in a dorm, and I usually come home on weekends/during break/etc. When I am home, even if it's just for the evening, my mom feels perfectly okay with asking me to do things, and to have just as many chores/responsibilities as my younger brother, who lives at home full time. And the way I see it, it's perfectly fair. I have a work study job while I'm at school, and I keep all of it. When I'm at home for the summer, etc, I don't pay rent. I feel in my personal situation, it's perfectly fair that I do chores and contribute, especially considering that she still pays for things for me, you know? If she asks for me to buy something, whatever, I usually do. As for a curfew? I just let her know an idea of where I'm going and when I'll be home.
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10 May 2009, 00:25
Post Count: 260
I'm about to turn 22 this year and I still live at home....I think I have more of a "roommate" type situation going on...I don't pay rent...but I help out where I can..I clean up when I can...I cook dinner sometimes...I take care of "my side" of the house etc etc. When it comes to going out...I'm allowed to go out when ever I desire...with who ever I desire...and I have no curfew...but it's just a general...unspoken rule that I let my mum know where I am and when I plan on coming home - I think because of safety...just being able to know where I am and who I'm with - it's reasons.

I think having a curfew at my probably a bit strict - I probably wouldn't listen to it anyway...but I think the important thing is..I respect my mothers concerns and so forth...and I just long as she knows where I am...then there won't be any issues. I guess it helps that I can (now days) tell my mother pretty much she has reason to trust me and let me live my own as I wish long as I'm safe and out of harms way.
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10 May 2009, 01:06
Minda Hey Hey™
Post Count: 330
I'm just curious, what do your chores consist of?

I lived with my parents and paid rent--and did the chores. I lived under their roof so I had to obey their rules, but they weren't that strict anyway--just the normal checking in which I think should be done out of respect anyway.
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10 May 2009, 02:27
Post Count: 492
I didn't move out of my house until I was 25, so 21 is nothing. I don't think anything is wrong with it either. Times are tough and it is hard to be on your own nowadays. When my mom and dad were our age, life seemed easier to live and it was. Everything is so expensive now; college, rent, groceries, everything! Now it is harder with the whole economy situation too. If living at home saves you finanically then I say go for it. I'd rather save money and take myself out of debt then deal with it everyday. Talk about stress.
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10 May 2009, 03:16
just samma;
Post Count: 204
I moved out before I turned 18.
But a lot of what your saying you do now i've never had to do. I never had chores or a set curfew after i was about 13.
If you really did want to leave you could. You could pick up a second job, pull more hours in at your current job, go to school & survive. Students do it everyday, even full time students.
If you NEED to make it, you find ways to do so.
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10 May 2009, 04:02
Post Count: 82
i moved out when i was 16 but now im living back at home, not by choice! my stupid ex decided to fuck things up soooo i had to come back here. im moving out in july tho :] wooooohoooo
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10 May 2009, 04:37
Toffee Sprinkles
Post Count: 87
I'm 22 and I live with my parents.

I work and go to school full time. On my days off, I have chores to do -- I clean one of the bathrooms and clean all of the floors downstairs (my brother and I alternate cleaning the bathroom we share).

I'm responsible for my own food and bills (car, tuition, student loans, etc.), and I pay $400 a month for rent. I either have to be home by midnight, or I have to call/text my parents letting them know where I am and what time I'll be home, or if I'll be home at all. For the most part, they don't care if I'm home late or if I'm out all night, as long as I let them know.

Have you tried compromising with the curfew thing? Maybe you could talk them into letting you stay out later on Fridays or Saturdays if you come home early every other night of the week. You're an adult, so the early curfew really sucks, but it's your parents' house, and their rules. Rebelling might only make things worse.
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10 May 2009, 06:47
Post Count: 247
I lived with my parents until 3 months after I turned 21.

My Dad made me pay him 240 a MONTH [60$ a week]

They treated me like I was still 16 years old, I had no freedom or anything.

I am NEVER going back!
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10 May 2009, 14:39
Catch May If You Can
Post Count: 157
bah, i still live at home at 22. i help out with money, cleaning and i have a part time job and i got to school. i plan to move out withen the next 2 years.
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10 May 2009, 14:40
Catch May If You Can
Post Count: 157
oops, sorry, i forgot that changed, i now work full time (hours changed ) and after work i go straight to classes
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10 May 2009, 16:22
Post Count: 16
I'm 22 and still live at home. I pay rent, work 25-30 hours a week and am studying full-time for a degree. I help out around the house as much as I can, cook at least 2 meals a week for the whole family and have my own bills to pay too. When I go out I let someone know where I am and roughly what time I'll be back. If I'm going to be in any later I call or text to let my parents know out of respect, because afterall it is their house. I don't have a curfew, but as someone said earlier I generally abide by the 'If not back by midnight, don't come back until the next day' rule! My parents work hard, and I know I'm not paying enough rent to cover everything they have to pay for e.g. food/water/electric/tv license etc. At the same time I simply cannot afford to move out even though I would love to.
I'd suggest maybe saying that if you really HAVE to have a curfew then ask if it could be later than 10pm. It would be a starting point :)
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10 May 2009, 17:53
Beautiful Lies
Post Count: 402
I guess I don't really understand why people think it's 'unfair' that they're over 18 and have a curfew and have to clean the house and all that if they're still living with their parents.

There are really 2 options here: 1. Move out. 2. Live in your parents home and abide by their rules. If you don't want to have to do chores or come home earlier than you wish, then you need to move out. If it's not an option to move out then you just need to deal with it until you are able to move out.

If you live with your parents and you're no longer a minor anymore I think it's perfectly acceptable that you are required to have a curfew, chores or rent whatever. Technically your parents can kick your ass out as long as your 18, so be lucky they're only making you clean the house and have a curfew.
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11 May 2009, 18:58
Post Count: 76
Interesting advice straight and to the point. You must have wen to the Dr. Phil school of psychology lol :) BTW, it is good solid advice
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