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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
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Friends with your friends ex?
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28 Apr 2009, 17:57
septemberocio
Post Count: 61
I became really good friends with my best friends boyfriend. Cynthia and I have been friends since school, and we're still very close. She use to date Ramon for the last 5 years. I became really good friends, I consider him one of my best guy friends and he sometimes would call me his little sister. When I was pregnant (With Josh's baby. Josh is Ramon's friend too). He was always there for me, and we could always talk about anything. He always confided in me, and I did the same.

Now, Cynthia and him broke up. And they are both being very immature and they fight all the time. I'm still friends with both, even though I have to hear about the drama and it makes me mad. She's never told me that I can't talk to him, but sometimes I feel guilty because unlike her other friends, I still talk to him. I mean, he didn't just hurt her, they BOTH hurt eachother, and the other thing... I know how my friend Cynthia is. They are both good people, but they just didn't work for eachother, they were just crazy together. She knows I talk to him, but she's never shown any sign of discomfort.

So, should I feel guilty because I don't hate him? because I don't talk to him? What should be considered in situations like this? Would you mind if your best friend is friends with your ex?
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28 Apr 2009, 18:14
Soul Rebel
Post Count: 5
If my ex had done something really horrible to me, then I'd probably be upset if a friend of mine was still friends with him. But as long as it wasn't anything like that, I wouldn't care.

I don't think you should feel guilty. Your friend hasn't said anything. Do you think she's secretly upset about it and wants you to stop talking to him? If so, then I'd talk about it with her. But I don't think you have to stop being friends with him.

I had some friends like that. I hung out with them separately for a while until they both stopped being big babies about the whole thing.
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28 Apr 2009, 18:45
IamMe
Post Count: 25
Something like this happened my senior year of high school. My at the time best friend broke up with her boyfriend. I had gotten close to him and I stayed friends with him after they broke up. My friend didn't take it well and we didn't talk at all for about 4 months. We talk once in a while now but the whole thing was just a mess.

If your friend is cool with it I see no reason to not be friends with him. You shouldn't feel guilty just because you're still friends with him.
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28 Apr 2009, 20:39
kein mitleid
Post Count: 592
If your friend is fine with it, fine. If it's more than a friendship and you're feeling guilty, you probably have good reason for feeling that way.

What's worth more, your friendship with her, or with him?
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28 Apr 2009, 21:07
septemberocio
Post Count: 61
no, it's not more than a friendship. their friendship both means a lot to me. i have known her longer but, she's never put me in a spot to choose, so i am happy about that.
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28 Apr 2009, 23:18
Kelsey Lynn xox
Post Count: 150
i hate when this happens, because it seems to me like it happens all the time.
if your girl best friend is really your friend, she should respect ALL of your relationships, no matter who they are.
i mean, unless your friendship with this guy is physically or emotionally hurting you, or putting your life in jepardy, then there is nothing wrong with that. and if your girl friend has a problem, then tell her she needs to realize that you would never tell her who she can't be friends with, so you expect the same.
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29 Apr 2009, 05:15
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
If the problem aint broke, don't fix it.

If she had a real problem with you guys being friends, she'd make it known. I wouldn't stress over it, unless there is an alterior motive to your guilt.
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