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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Daycare and Stay At Home Mothers
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7 Apr 2009, 22:40
Post Count: 132
Everyone is respecting everyone else in this thread, Blue Bella was just asking for opinions on what other people thought about the issue!
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8 Apr 2009, 05:54
Post Count: 61
That part wasn't for Blue Bella, it was for the people who were rather rude about the subject when answering.

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7 Apr 2009, 22:53
brooke !
Post Count: 100
I agree with "broke and famous" completely. my children haven't been in daycare, my oldest is in first grade though. if i had no family around to watch my infant son, then i would more than likely have him in a daycare for at least a day out of the week, so i could have time to myself.
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7 Apr 2009, 21:19
Post Count: 300
i agree with you completely..
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8 Apr 2009, 00:12
Post Count: 89
ATM Im not working but I still put my child in daycare. Yes Im sure I could save a tonof money by just watching him myself but I dont want to..honestly. He actually looks forward to Monday cause he knows hes going to "school" Why would I want to dissapoint him by telling him he cant go and see his friends anymore? While hes in daycare there are some days that I do go out and look for a job but there are other days where I go to the beach or I will sleep until 1-2 in the afternoon..I do things for myself. My son is number one in my life and Im not going to dissapoint him and make him wonder why mommy wont let him see people who he has fun with and who he enjoys being with. Also when hes at daycare its not like hes not doing anything. Its not like hes just playing with toys..hes learning. He will be 3 in September and already he knows how to count say his ABC's he knows all his colors..they are teaching him there..Im not going to tear him away because I want some more "me"
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8 Apr 2009, 00:13
The Mama
Post Count: 51
I am a stay at home mom now, but when my daughter was a baby, and up until she was 5, I was a full time working mother, and she was in a daycare center. I stay at home with my 9 month old son and I have no plans to put him into daycare, HOWEVER, I do plan to enroll him into some kind of pre-school program when he is around 4 years old. This way, he can learn the social skills he needs and other things he will need to prepare him for kindergarten.
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8 Apr 2009, 01:27
something amazing.
Post Count: 105
No, the worst is when a SAHM has a NANNY!!!! I did a temporary nanny job for a McDonald's exec (yes, the restaurant) and the mom was home all the time. She often sat in the room while myself and their other nanny took care of her two month old twins. She even had a third nanny who watched her other set of twins. Why this woman had children, I have no clue. After that, I refused to ever work for SAHMs full-time. I do believe that it's important to get your kids around other children. I don't like the idea of daycares because they're grossly understaffed, dirty, and the children are often ignored. Believe me, I've worked in a bunch and they were horrendous. I didn't even stay a week at some. I do believe that moms need a break. You cannot be with your children 24/7. Staying at home with your child is like a full-time job you NEVER leave. I like playdates/nanny shares the most. Watching your friend's children while your friend goes out is a great way to socialize your kids and also gives your friend (and then you the next week) a break to have uninterrupted time. It makes you a better parent to get time outs from the kids. You feel more refreshed, energized, happy and your kids get a chance to miss you.
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8 Apr 2009, 01:55
Post Count: 82
wow, that is bad!
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8 Apr 2009, 01:51
Post Count: 19
I am a sahm, and i would not put my kids in daycare... Honestly if there isnt a playgroup in your area, or for your kids age group... Start one... Not hard... We did it in North Carolina... One: there are people out there that need those spots, and it is hard to get them in there... Two, I agree about socailizing your kids... But there are other ways, and least expensive ways... Yeah sometimes I want my kids to be gone for the day for me time... But it passes there after...
So I wouldnt do it...
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8 Apr 2009, 08:04
Miss Murder
Post Count: 33
Ill be going back to work when my son is 10 months old because I literally cant afford to be a SAHM but im going back to work on nights and my husband is working days so I dont have to put my son in daycare or nursery. But you can bet as soon as he hits 2 and a half or 3 ill definatly put him into nursery or pre school whether I am working or not. I think children do need interaction with other children because I never went to nursery and I used to SCREAM every day when I got left and when I started what in England is called a "first" school [i started a new one age 7] I couldnt make friends because I was scared of them.

I know how hard it can be raising a child but I think we all need a break now and again. When my husband has time off work he looks after Connor while I go to my mums for a few hours or tidy up etc or we all go out together and he holds him while I look in shops.

At the end of the day though its your own personal preference.
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8 Apr 2009, 08:54
Post Count: 210
lol i read a blog online about a SAHM with a nanny. it makes me laugh... and makes me feel better haha
Everyone needs a break now and then. I don't know anything about daycares and spaces etc.... if i need a break DD will spent the afternoon with the inlaws, its good for her relationships with them and her langauge skills. and yes its totaly selfish to want a break... but its so good for me to feel refreshed and look at my daughter in new eyes.. and miss her! When she gets to about 3 or 4 then she'll go to preschool if i'm happy with it. but really theres more to life than socialising with your own age... once you leave school you're talking and making friends with people all ages.
maybe i'll feel different and need extra time when i have another baby. toddlers and newborns are hard work.
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8 Apr 2009, 11:00
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
For the time I will be at home with my daughter (will be the first year of her life at this stage) I will NOT be putting her in childcare for a day a week. I'm sorry, but because I need some "me" time, isn't reason enough to put her into a daycare centre that young for a whole day. I think its a piss poor excuse. If I that desperately need me time, my partner can stay with her for a few hours. And if we need us, my parents can have her for a few hours. And I'm not talking "a week" here. I am talking, here and there. Now and then. What the hell is the point of me staying at home, if I'm going to palm her off to someone else? I hate the fact that I will have to go back to work after my maternity leave is over - and I have dragged that out and extended that like nothing else to get as much time as possible. I want to indulge in every minute I can with her, because she is mine. She is my responsibility and if I wanted "me" time once a week for 8 or 9 hours a day, I prolly should have got another pet rather than got pregnant.

I dont think it is selfish to want "me" time, and no doubt I will want it. But not in such structure and certainly not in that capacity when she is perfectly fine having bonding time with daddy or her grandparents.

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8 Apr 2009, 16:08
Post Count: 9
Daycares are not all bad. My daughter's EI (early intervention specialist) said that daycare would do WONDERS for her. When my husband and I seperated and I had no choioce but to put her in daycare, it did just that. Her vocabulary and speech took off, she went from being incrediably shy to saying hi to just about anyone. Her socialization skills sky rocketed as well. She use to LOVE daycare. Now that my husband and I are back together I am a SAHM mom again. Every parent needs "me" time. All the parents I know who work get "me" time. Whether it be a day off and they still bring their children to daycare or the child(ren) go to a family's house for a couple hours. All the SAHM's I know get "me" time as well. There is nothing wrong with "me" time every once in a while. Even if it means you take a half hour to yourself while your child is taking a nap.
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8 Apr 2009, 20:11
Post Count: 462
Just loving the judgmental attitudes from people who have never had children.
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8 Apr 2009, 20:20
Post Count: 462
For those who don't think Mommy needs "me time" that using a daycare would require, then don't do it. But don't judge someone else just because they do. Like I said, two or three (or more) days a week using a daycare when Mommy is at home (and child is pre-preschool) just says that Mommy might as well be working anyway. But one day a week (MAYBE two, at the MOST) for some "me time" or even a chance to get caught up on housework that just isn't getting done, no big deal. If you don't want to do it, don't. And just wait to get your me-time when Daddy comes home from a long day at work. Yeah, he's REALLY going to be happy about doing it. He's going to want his relaxation time, too, just like you. And if you decide THAT is the time you get your me-time, and he isn't feeling up to it because of an extra-hard day at work, and you make him do it anyway, you're not going to have a very happy home.

And I have noticed that there are some people responding negatively about such Mothers who have said themselves "It really pisses me off when you judge me for decisions I have/will make as a Mother. I don't do it to you, so don't do it to me," and yet here they are judging other Mothers for a decision THEY'VE made.

And for those who have never had children? Wait until you have children before you make grand statements as you have been making.
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9 Apr 2009, 18:50
Post Count: 408
exactly! that's precisely why my comment was trying to say "here's what I think I want to do, but it totally depends on circumstances, and peeople have different reasons". to do anything otherwise is just making assumptions.
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9 Apr 2009, 04:25
Post Count: 378
In australia there are barely enough daycare positions for people who DO work. I dont believe people who want freaking TIME OUT should be taking places from people who work in order to give their children a better future, while the bludgers who sit at home and collect benefits get their fucking child care SUBSIDISED because their income isnt high.
My heart bleeds, get a job like the rest of us.
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9 Apr 2009, 05:14
Post Count: 462
In the U.S. anyone who gets subsidized childcare assistance is not allowed to have the child in daycare unless they are out looking for a job. If they aren't out looking for a job, the childcare is paid for out of pocket. And they are required to show proof of job search if they use the childcare.
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9 Apr 2009, 05:25
Post Count: 378
Here it is not. If you are not working then your costs are pretty much totlly covered where as people who work pay almost full price. Doesnt give much encouragement to people to actually get a job does it?
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9 Apr 2009, 05:30
Post Count: 462
"Doesnt give much encouragement to people to actually get a job does it?"

No it doesn't. Sounds like you guys have a really lax public assistance program there. Seems like you can get help thrown at you if you wanted it, without ever being held accountable for what you do with that assistance. And I don't get why the gov't would pay for childcare ANYWAY if someone ISN'T working or looking for a job. Back when my kids were babies and I had to look for a job (single mom), I was granted subsidized childcare, but I was required to be looking for a job. I never even THOUGHT of putting them in childcare on the days I wasn't out looking for a job. Just another way people take advantage of the system.
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9 Apr 2009, 08:27
Post Count: 378
If you are on benefits dont NEED to work. You dont pay full price for anything and have money thrown at you constantly. If you are working and need help with childcare etc then fair enough.
I think that was a lot of the point of this thread. If you dont need the help...then you shouldnt get it. Why should you get paid for childcare when you dont work when people who DO get off their arses cant get help bcause they actually earn money. Child care here is expensive as well...frustrates me when people who dont need it take such blatant advantage of the system.

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9 Apr 2009, 09:47
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
Our system here pretty encourages 'bludgers' to continue their way of life. There is very little incentive to work for a lot of people. Especially around where I live and where Pagan lives too - which isn't far from me. It's ridiculous and it's very unfair. For my partner and I, because he works and is well paid (according to welfare) we get little subsidy from them for childcare, and when I return to work we get at most 56 CENTS an hour if we are lucky. IAday in childcare is approximately $50 - $60. 56 cents an hour is bullshit, when a stay at home mum on welfare benefits (which I see nothing wrong with them getting those benefits if they're staying at home) can get like $5 an hour subsidised. It's bullshit.
Whilst the money they are given from Centrelink (essentially our welfare system) is not great and doesn't allow for a lot... it is certainly made that its JUST ENOUGH that its abused.
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9 Apr 2009, 04:49
Post Count: 28
haha i dont even know where to begin. i have NEVER put my children in daycare. personally i think its too expensive. I totally agree that Mommys need "me time" trust me i need it often with going to school full time, but i believe that IF you have family that are willing and able to keep an eye on your children/child for you then you should take advantage of that, other than pay to have them in daycare, i know that some daycares have rules, the one i wanted to get my oldest daughter into when i started a job wanted a minimum of 3 days a week and that was 100 dollars sometimes its not worth it or not even an option with the whole contract crap they want from you. But for women who dont have the family or friends to help if thats their only option then go for it, theres nothing wrong with it as long as they are NOT using it to just get away all the time. I love being a SAHM and i would never want to miss my babies younger years
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9 Apr 2009, 11:40
Mojo Jojo
Post Count: 278
I'm going back to work when my baby's 9 months, part time. I'm planning on putting him in daycare (at a school) once he's 18 months for one of the days I work. If I didn't work - then I wouldn't. Too expensive
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