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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Daycare and Stay At Home Mothers
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7 Apr 2009, 07:09
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
Just wanted to see what peoples opinion on this are.

If you are a stay at home mum to a child under say 3.5 - 4 years old (which is around preschool age, in Australia) - do you feel that you are entitled to put your child in to day care a day or two a week. If yes, why?

My views on this topic: SAHM generally choose to be SAHM's, and therefore should not be palming their kids off on to a daycare centre. And those who use the excuse that they are doing it for the social interaction of their child, should put take the child to a play group for that interaction, and be there WITH them. Utilising that time with the child, and also not taking up much needed childcare places for families who work full time.

What do you think on the matter?
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7 Apr 2009, 07:50
septemberocio
Post Count: 61
Yeah, I would put them in daycare a few times a week that way they could mingle. I have been thinking about this a lot lately.
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7 Apr 2009, 08:50
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
For mingling though? Or time out for you?
Because would they not get the social interaction from "mingling" with children from a playgroup?
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7 Apr 2009, 20:46
septemberocio
Post Count: 61
for both.

Time for you and then time for them. My son doesn't spend much time with kids his age, so it will do both of us some good.
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7 Apr 2009, 13:13
~*Pagan*~
Post Count: 378
I happen to agree with you...people who do not work should not be taking day care places away from those who need them.

and socialising? thats what playgroup is for. dont palm the responsibility of socialising your child onto someone else if you dont have to.
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7 Apr 2009, 13:24
Independant.Mama
Post Count: 9
I am a SAHM mom and I wish I could afford to put my daughter in daycare a day or two a week. I have her in some play groups, but not all moms' have the means to get to play groups, or their city/town does not offer playgroups. And not all playgroups are meant for the age of the child. There may be a playgroup for children birth to age 1, but not playgroup for ages 2-3. Then what do you do? My daughter LOVED daycare and if I could afford it I'd enroll her back in daycare a day or two a week.
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7 Apr 2009, 14:22
Villy
Post Count: 204
I believe that everyone deserves a bit of peace and quiet. So putting your child in daycare for a couple hours a week should be fine. People seem to think that because someone chooses to be a SAHM that it means they have given up the right to ever be ANYTHING but a mother ever again. So they should never be allowed to have a couple of hours to run errands, clean house, or even just take a nice long bath without having Sweet Little Darling in tow. But its okay for everyone else to have "me time"? Bullshit.

And if its about them taking up space for others, well, then, they can get a babysitter for a couple hours once a week.

Choosing to stay at home, for most people, does not mean choosing to have your child up your ass 24/7/365.
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7 Apr 2009, 15:49
~RedFraggle~
Post Count: 2651
Working mums don't get "me time". Because they go to work during the day THEN go home and care for their child on the evenings and weekends. I bet there's not many working mothers who ship their kid off to someone else during the weekend so they can get the chores done. Somehow they find a way to do both. So I really don't see why SAHM should get the luxury of taking up a daycare space which someone else NEEDS, so they can get some time to themselves.
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7 Apr 2009, 16:51
Villy
Post Count: 204
I know plenty that do. Whether or not its to have the father watch them, or a family member, a LOT of working mothers are able to get some time to themselves.

A lot of people seem to take for granted even the little bit of time they get when they work, be it a lunch break, or the commute to and from work. Even that is little bit of a break. And as I said, if the issue is that they are taking up space in a daycare, then they should get a babysitter for a couple of hours once a week.

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7 Apr 2009, 16:53
Makayla
Post Count: 751
Agreed.
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7 Apr 2009, 14:54
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
Two or three days a week? No. If the kid is going to be in daycare that often, Mama might as well be working.

But once a week? Or every other week? I think it's perfectly acceptable. Whether it be social interaction or time out for mom, it doesn't matter.
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7 Apr 2009, 16:08
starsmaycollide
Post Count: 408
I am not a mom myself, but I did get an answer about daycare from someone I work with yesterday. He works, and his wife works part time. He said that sometimes when his wife has the day off, she will still take their 3 year old son in to the day care. The reason was they are already paying for more days than they take him because of how the charges are set up at the place. He also mentioned how it messes up the child's routine when it changes on what days he goes where....and I imagine that's rough to deal with.

I do think that at a certain point right before their first form of 'school' some people may want their kids to get used to the idea of socializing with many others, listening to a teacher, and being part of a group that isn't with their mom. They have to be able to be okay on their own when preschool comes around, and that's tough on a 4 year old that is always home with Mommy.

(mind you, I'm not saying it's bad to be at home, I plan to be a SAHM myself.)

I don't think it should be assumed that a parent would only be doing that just for themselves. Some children may need extra assistance or socialization for whatever the reason , and it doesn't mean that the mom or dad just doesn't want to deal with them. Some kids really benefit from structure and home is not the same as "school" as young children see it. In some cases, daycares may be able to help head off behavior issues or whatnot before the child gets old enough to be in a real preschool program.




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7 Apr 2009, 16:14
starsmaycollide
Post Count: 408
Also, just wanted to say: having worked in daycares, I'd prefer not to use them, period. I'd personally like them to just go to preschool.

so to clarify: I think it depends on the situation. Nobody should be using a daycare if it's truly not needed, but I don't think working is the only possible reason. There's also a lot of different kinds of programs so it depends on what you are talking about.

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7 Apr 2009, 20:36
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I work in a nursery and for reasons I am too lazy to say, I would never put my kid in a nursery/daycare. No way.
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7 Apr 2009, 20:54
brooke !
Post Count: 100
I think that while yes, it is their choice to be a stay at home mom, they should still be able to get time to themselves, without the kids. i disagree with you about the whole social interaction thing. i think daycare is a great way to socialize children, and it gives the mom some time to get things done without the kids interrupting her.
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8 Apr 2009, 07:27
trying4miracle#1
Post Count: 102
I'm all for being a SAHM that's what I would like to be able to do and use like a mothers day out type program that is a couple times a week for a few hours to have a little me time.
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8 Apr 2009, 11:59
Meghans Follie
Post Count: 433
My best friend puts her 3 yr old in daycare once a week so she can get some things done. Either errands that are easier without a 3 yr old tagging along or things around the house such as steam cleaning her carpets or moping the floors.
Since her hubby is deployed I think its a great idea for her.
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8 Apr 2009, 13:24
- cynthia -
Post Count: 45
i dont see anything wrong with it. my friend put her 3 yr old daughter in daycare/preschool while she was a stay at home mom. her daughter went to school 3 days a week, and half days. she loved it!! she even asked her mom if she could go throughout the summer.

i think its a great idea...it helps them better understand school once they're older.
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9 Apr 2009, 07:40
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
Everyone who keeps saying they are taking up spots of people who really need them - does it matter, as long as they are paying for the child care? lol
I don't put my daughter in day care and I work FT :P But if I was a SAHM, I still wouldn't put her in daycare. It's too expensive. My daughter does go to her Grandparent's house on Saturday nights, though. I get my "me time" then.
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9 Apr 2009, 07:55
Lovin'MyLittles
Post Count: 322
I have a 7 year old. She goes to school full time now, so this is the "me time". I also work full time, but I work in the evening. She stays home with my fiance. I'm only planning on working FT right now until my fiance gets a FT job [he's currently been laid off bleh.] and saving some extra money as well as paying our bills. Once September rolls around, I'd like to be at home again. I won't put my daughter in daycare, as I said before, she's in school. I see nothing wrong with putting your child in daycare for 1-2 days a week so you can accomplish things. It's great for your child to socialize. It makes it easier for them once they start school. Play groups can be fun, but ultimately your child knows you are there and that is different from a daycare or school setting. My next baby, I will probably be a SAHM with that baby, but once they hit 2-3, if I find myself slacking on house work etc, I may put them in daycare :] If I'm paying for it, then it's our slot, and that's all there is to it. So selfish am I :)
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7 Apr 2009, 08:30
RealLifeComics
Post Count: 571
Depends on circumstances I guess. I mean a day or two to catch on work around the house or just some time to spend alone is cool I think. Apart from mums group/play group, Id say its good for the kid to spend time alone too, not just with the mum all the time. I would agree with the mother of my kid to put him in daycare, but not for the entire week if shes just at home watching TV or meeting up with friends. Thats not cool.

Australia definately needs more child care centers though,
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7 Apr 2009, 13:24
ღPhoenix
Post Count: 126
I'm a stay at home mom and i CHOSE to be one.

I cant see for the life of me putting my son in daycare so i can "catch a break", or do things around the house. You learn to cook/clean/do laundry and entertain your child(children) at the same time. And parenthood isnt about breaks. Sure, you need to get out once in a while, do something for YOU... but shouldnt ship your kids off a few days a week so you can get some "you" time and sit on your ass...

and i agree about the socialising part. Take them to a play group, make a "play date" with a friend, or just take them to the park/pool/gym and let them socialize... its not hard to do.
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7 Apr 2009, 13:45
Bec💕
Post Count: 82
omg!

my INLAWS (my ex's dumbass family) always hassled me to put my children in daycare because its "so good for them!!" yeah SO GOOD that they come home with ear infections and stomach bugs and all that nasty stuff. I put my eldest in honestly just to shut them up. She goes to preschool now tho (shes almost 5). Im a SAHM to my 1yo and 2yo daughters ATM. there's no point putting them in daycare unless im working. IMO if you need a 'break' from your child maybe you should think twice before having them???? yeah.
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7 Apr 2009, 14:01
panda bear.
Post Count: 150
"IMO if you need a 'break' from your child maybe you should think twice before having them???? yeah." really?! REALLY!? Are you pretty much saying that when you have kids, your life is doomed. You'll never get some you time, because that kid needs your every move to be theirs as well. I'm sorry but I STRONGLY disagree with what you just said. I know plenty of women, who are GREAT mothers. And when they need a little bit of "them" time, they bring their child to their parents house for a few hours. The child is still getting the SAME EXACT CARE that it would if it were chillen with mommy.

Why is it so wrong, to want a little you time when you have a kid?
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7 Apr 2009, 14:04
Bec💕
Post Count: 82
I didn't ask you to agree with me, did i? no? ok then. each to their own!
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