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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Dating older men
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27 Mar 2009, 05:54
So In Love 12-12-07
Post Count: 5
I'll be 20 next month and I'm dating (and marrying in 5 years) a man that just turned 49. He's even older than my mom. I'm sick of people saying I have "daddy issues" or that it will fade and it's not love. I believe that it's love and he does too.

I say, if you're going to break "the rules", really go all out and break them to the max! Make it worth it!
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27 Mar 2009, 13:07
.Blue Bella.
Post Count: 743
I think it comes down to the person...
I've dated older men. I've dated guys my age. Some older men are only older in age, not mind!
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27 Mar 2009, 16:24
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
I've dated older & younger. In my option age is nothing but a number. For me the older guy acted like he was 15 where the younger guy acted like he was 23. So I think people just get to wrapped up in the Number. You love him, right? Then that is all that should matter. The people giving you shit about age & "daddy issues" {trust me you only have daddy issues if the man is exactly like your dad} are just jealous because they didn't find a man who loves them as much as your man loves you. So honey, congratulations on find your love!
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27 Mar 2009, 16:25
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
*on finding your love!
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27 Mar 2009, 23:47
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
"{trust me you only have daddy issues if the man is exactly like your dad}"

That's not true at all. You have Daddy issues if you use a man (regardless of age) to make up for your lack of a Daddy, REGARDLESS of if he is exactly like your Daddy or not. The reason people CALL it "Daddy issues" is because you can see in some women who date older men that they have chosen a man who will spoil them, typically like Daddy didn't (because he was never around).

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28 Mar 2009, 01:24
-Raiin
Post Count: 11
Also I will add to this,
Not only a man who will spoil her but a man who will "take care" of her.
Maybe not just financially, but physically or any other sort of way.
She is used to having to look after her self because daddy was never there to "protect" her.

I could be way wrong too.......
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28 Mar 2009, 01:26
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
No, you are not way wrong. what you have mentioned is also very true.
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30 Mar 2009, 19:46
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
Im sorry but I don't agree with you. In my experience "daddy issues" stem from a dad not being their so when someone gives you the attention you want & is exactly like your father in actions, thoughts, & behavior then you have "daddy issues". But I also think it is a cop out for not actually trying to find someone & just going with what you are given.
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30 Mar 2009, 20:12
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
How can a man be exactly like your daddy when the man gives you attention that your daddy didn't because your daddy wasn't there but the man is?
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30 Mar 2009, 20:25
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
And anyway, "daddy issues" can be defined in more than one way.

First, we have the woman whose daddy was absent and she didn't get much, if any, attention from him. As a result, she spends her life looking for a "father figure" who will treat her the way she thinks a daddy should treat their daughter in regards to attention (obviously not sex, because that would be a bit oedipus).

Second, we have that same women mentioned above who, as a result of the absent father, spends her life getting into relationships that have the same male-absence quality. Sometimes it is sub-conscious, sometimes she is very conscious of it.

And frankly, it's only a cop-out when the woman understands why she behaves the way she does and continues to do so. For the woman who doesn't understand that she behaves in that manner because of the absence of her father, it's not a cop out, but something that needs to be pointed out to her so she can make steps to change her behavior.
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1 Apr 2009, 14:57
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
Question, if there is more than one way why did you first say "That's not true at all. You have Daddy issues if you use a man (regardless of age) to make up for your lack of a Daddy, REGARDLESS of if he is exactly like your Daddy or not. The reason people CALL it "Daddy issues" is because you can see in some women who date older men that they have chosen a man who will spoil them, typically like Daddy didn't (because he was never around)."?

Now you are saying there is more then one way, so how can I be wrong, so to speak, in how I view "Daddy Issues"? In my experience & the way I view it, when you date someone that is exactly like your father in actions, thoughts, & behavior & gives you that attention you wanted & needed from him, you have "Daddy Issues".

There is more then one way to view it, & I'm not trying to be rude or bitchy, I'm just trying to understand why you would say that my view of it is not true & then say "Daddy Issues" can be defined in more than one way. Because the way I see it my views fall under "defined in more than one way", therefor it is neither true or false & just falls into a gray area.
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2 Apr 2009, 02:52
~*Shannon*~
Post Count: 462
You're right. They do. HOWEVER, you DID say "You ONLY have Daddy issues if.....", which means that according to you, the man must be exactly as your daddy was in order to have daddy issues, and if he isn't exactly like your daddy was, then you don't have daddy issues. Which was, in fact, completely inaccurate.
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2 Apr 2009, 14:34
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
I went back & read my first post & say that. I'm sorry I forgot I had said it that way. I did not mean it that way.

Like I said I'm not trying to be rude or bitchy. I just was trying to understand where you where coming from & why you said it the way that you did.
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30 Mar 2009, 23:09
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
"is exactly like your father in actions, thoughts, & behavior"

My ex fiancee was exactly like my biological father in those aspects but he gave me the attention i always wanted from my father.
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28 Mar 2009, 14:26
-Raiin
Post Count: 11
I love a man who will protect me.
Not because I can't stand up for myself but because I feel safe around him.
Now this could very possibly be with all woman.

Just last night he was telling me if I need him to "kill" someone just tell him.
LOL of course he was just kidding but again, the protection factor.
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28 Mar 2009, 15:43
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
'Daddy issues' is a load of bull in my opinion.
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2 Apr 2009, 15:03
.Amber.
Post Count: 260
Those kind of Daddy issues are, lol.

Now Daddy issues from a BDSM perspective..... *grinsss8
that's my fave.
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28 Mar 2009, 15:59
Mrs_V_To_Be
Post Count: 2
Well I am 24, 25 in December and my man is 40.
I actually really like it, we've been together four years now and he makes me really happy. We'll be engaged soon aswell!
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28 Mar 2009, 20:56
LCMS Challenges
Post Count: 8
my husband is 9 yrs younger than my real father to the day (no shitting you, they were both born on March 9th; my father 1957 and my husband 1966) and my mom which makes him about 15 years my senior. He was 36 and I was 22 when we started dating. It works for us.
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28 Mar 2009, 20:59
Catch May If You Can
Post Count: 157
well, im 22 and the oldest i've dated is 3 years older than me, but honestly, i don't care about age differences. To me, its just a number. if two people are really compatible for eachother, who cares about the age? as long as its not illegal!
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28 Mar 2009, 22:50
Newmommy09
Post Count: 89
Iv dated older..The guys im seeing now is 32 and im 22..before that I was dating a 32 year old when I was 19. I say as long as your happy thats all that should matter!
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28 Mar 2009, 22:51
Newmommy09
Post Count: 89
oops..I meant the guy..not guys..lol
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29 Mar 2009, 00:01
take me there
Post Count: 40
i am a 17 year old girl dating a 24 year old guy. he acts alot more mature and sure of himself then guys my age. he doesn't get swayed by others and is independent and living on his own. plus i am more attracted to him then guys my age. i think maturity is part of it, and ive always had a problem dating somebody younger than me because i like being the younger one haha.
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29 Mar 2009, 00:16
Krisstah
Post Count: 127
Thats what attracts me to older guys, well.. most of the time anyway they can make their own decisions without their friends telling them what to do, or that im a cunt or something and that he should dump me all the time.
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29 Mar 2009, 03:38
take me there
Post Count: 40
exactly. also that he listens to his parents but they can't forbid him from seeing me or doing anything else for that matter haha.
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