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Discussion Forums » General Discussion
Interracial dating
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20 Mar 2009, 00:09
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Ahh I know what you mean by the personality differences...

My college which I attend one day a week is very multi-racial, but nobody mixes. The black people stick together, the Asians stick together, and the whites stick together. And it's so funny watching the other groups - the Asians walk stupid (they limp whilst holding their balls) and blast rap music really loud, and the black group have adopted a strange London accent... despite being 200 miles away from London. Also, I would not approach a member of either group because they all look like they would happily beat somebody up. Then again so do the rougher looking white people haha. It's so strange! Like, why does that happen? I presume it's all to just fit in, but it really interests me. I end up staring at people and then they give me evil looks and I realise I was staring... lol.
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20 Mar 2009, 00:35
Estella
Post Count: 1779
BTW, WHEN YOU SAY 'ASIAN', DO YOU MEAN, LIKE, INDIAN AND PAKISTANI, OR DO YOU MEAN, LIKE, CHINESE AND JAPANESE? JUST BECAUSE THE AMERICANS USE IT TO MEAN THE LATTER CATEGORY, BUT I DON'T THINK WE BRITS DO - ALTHOUGH I'M NOT SURE, BECAUSE THE TERMS COULD HAVE CHANGED.
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20 Mar 2009, 00:39
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Ahh yes I usually say it to mean Indian, Pakistani, Middle-Eastern etc, although I have used it to mean the latter before!
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20 Mar 2009, 09:23
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
I've never known anyone to call Middle-Eastern people Asian! The things I learn reading forums. ;D
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20 Mar 2009, 10:04
Estella
Post Count: 1779
YES, YO. WE CALL INDIAN FOLKS 'ASIAN', AND WE CALL CHINESE/JAPANESE/ETC 'ORIENTAL'. BEFORE THE NORTH AMERICANS TELL ME HOW DREADFUL I AM FOR USING SUCH A WORD, I SHALL QUOTE FROM THE ALL-KNOWING WIKIPEDIA, YO:

To describe a person as Oriental is considered to be impolite and politically incorrect by some in the United States, Canada and Ireland; the term Asian is now widely used. In the United States Oriental refers to objects and material good such as rugs and teapots. However, the term Oriental does not carry any such connotations in the United Kingdom, where the word Asian commonly refers to people of Indian/Bangladeshi/Pakistani/Sri Lankan descent. (These people are called South Asians in the United States.)

SEE HOW COMPLICATED IT GETS, YO!
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20 Mar 2009, 10:20
Jessica [Private]
Post Count: 1751
Rofl, "south asian" I've never once heard that term!
Where I live, we generally refer to them as middle-easterners ;D

And of course a wide amount of mean names :(
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18 Mar 2009, 23:23
Lindy
Post Count: 27
Lol how stupid is this.. why would there be a reason? You either like someone or you don't, you are attracted or you're not.. what reasons would there be, "I believe in equal opportunities".. "I believe everyone deserves a chance with my hot piece of ass"? I have never dated a black guy simply because where I live the majority of the population is white but if a black guy asked me out or I went out and really fancied a black guy, his skin colour wouldn't matter, what would matter is if there was an attraction there, he made me laugh and he was good in bed.
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18 Mar 2009, 23:48
Khoquetishღ
Post Count: 47
It's just a personal preference and what YOU find attractive. To each their own
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19 Mar 2009, 01:47
Mami 2 ♥ 1
Post Count: 361
I have dated outside of my race many times. I dont have a reason I just really liked the guys not their skin colors or their heritage. I joke now and then and say I have sworn off white guys. (they have hurt me the most.) but i dont mean it. If I find someone I click with it doesnt matter what race they are. in the end we are all the same....human.
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19 Mar 2009, 01:54
Lauren.
Post Count: 885
How does someone even justify asking a question like that? Why do they date who THEY date? You don't NEED a reason!
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19 Mar 2009, 02:50
valerieeeee
Post Count: 274
I think he was just curious to see how others felt.
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19 Mar 2009, 03:07
Chris
Post Count: 1938
Will's a racist, am I right or am I right?
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19 Mar 2009, 03:13
already gone.
Post Count: 153
Where I'm from the black guys are just more attractive to me. I also grew up around mainly black guys...
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20 Mar 2009, 00:11
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
See, I think what you're used to has a very wide bearing on who you're attracted to. Which ties in nicely of why most people only tend to date within their race.

I found black men attractive for a while because they were something new, they were different to all the white boys. Then it turned out they weren't so great, so I went off them haha.
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19 Mar 2009, 12:12
Leona Wren
Post Count: 425
I've dated every type of race. This is how I equate it. Just like different types of foods and we have our certain "flavor" their are different races. A lot of people date many different types of people but they have a certain type of flavor. I have dated Japanese, Black, Mexican, White and Chinese. Now I am with a man who is half black, half Chinese. Why? Because I fell in love and sometimes you can't control who you fall in love with.
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19 Mar 2009, 16:00
monoboo
Post Count: 36
i personally date(d) assholes and apparently they come in all different races.

but yeah, for the most part, i don't think i ever "chose" to date outside of my race. being multi-racial, i've only met one guy who was the exact "mix" i was. i had NO idea what race my husband was when we started dating because it wasn't obvious from his skin color.
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19 Mar 2009, 17:49
mixie
Post Count: 196
It is indeed a stupid question. I think a more poignant question is, "why do you choose NOT to date outside of your race?" Because apparently whomever asked the question is keenly aware of race when determining whether or not a person is suitable to date. Last time I checked, a person of any race can have a healthy baby with another person of any race they want to. Yet somehow, there is still the concept of 'interracial dating.' The word 'race' itself connotates one is going to win, and the rest will lose. STUPID.
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19 Mar 2009, 23:47
Estella
Post Count: 1779
WELL, I THINK MOST PEOPLE WHO ARE AWARE OF THE WORLD AROUND THEM ARE AWARE OF THE FACT THAT THERE ARE DIFFERENT RACES AND THAT THIS CAUSES A PROBLEM FOR SOME PEOPLE. AND THE PEOPLE WHO ARE MOST AWARE OF THIS TEND TO BE NON-WHITE PEOPLE IN PREDOMINANTLY WHITE COUNTRIES (LIKE THE PERSON WHO ASKED THE QUESTION) BECAUSE THEY ARE OFTEN AT THE RECEIVING END OF DISCRIMINATION. SO I'M NOT SURE WHY IT'S STUPID TO ENQUIRE ABOUT PEOPLE'S ATTITUDES TO DATING OTHER RACES.

AND THE WORD 'RACE' IN THIS CONTEXT HAS NO CONNOTATIONS OF THE 'RUNNING' MEANING OF RACE. THE TWO WORDS, THOUGH SPELT AND PRONOUNCED THE SAME, HAVE COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ETYMOLOGICAL ORIGINS.
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20 Mar 2009, 00:00
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
Yeah I don't think it's a stupid question, it's a perfectly valid question, and one I have often wondered about myself.

A lot of the time, people of a different race may have a different cultural background which can make dating very hard on the couple and on friends/family as well.

Whenever people say things like 'oh that's a stupid question, I don't see colour blah blah blah', I automatically think 'Ooooh, you're trying so hard to not sound racist.' and it makes me laugh. They're probably not, I do realise that lol but that thought just automatically occurs to me.

I heard an Iranian/English (born in Iran, moved to England as a teenager) comedian once tell a story about how she was trying to tell her mate about a bloke over the other side of the room at a party. He was the only black man there. She was trying so hard to be politically correct, that she ended up saying, 'Oh, you know Steve! Tall guy, curly hair, blue t-shirt... Nigerian accent.' ;D That really cracked me up, because I know some people like that.
I don't believe that anyone doesn't notice colour at all, they just don't make somebody's colour mean anything to them is what they mean... if you follow me!

All that said, I have already told you about my interracial nookie experience ;D
Where I live and work is predominantly very white (apart from the Japanese, they love it over here!) and so any interracial couple is going to get a few second glances. I'm sure my friends would have something to say about it! So there are so many extraneous factors that can come into this debate. But I am a great believer of fuck everyone else if you love someone!
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20 Mar 2009, 00:20
Estella
Post Count: 1779
YES, I AGREE THAT IT'S DAFT WHEN PEOPLE SAY THEY DON'T SEE COLOUR. THEY ARE PERFECTLY ABLE TO RECALL WHAT COLOUR HAIR AND EYES SOMEONE HAS - I'M PRETTY SURE THEY DON'T COMPLETELY OVERLOOK THE FACT THAT SOMEONE'S SKIN IS BLACK OR WHITE. MOST BLACK PEOPLE I KNOW REFER TO PEOPLE AS 'BLACK' OR 'WHITE' ALL THE TIME, SO I'M NOT SURE WHY WHITE PEOPLE CONSIDER IT OFFENSIVE TO USE THESE TERMS.

SOMETHING I FIND IS THAT WHEN AN INTERNET FORUM THREAD ABOUT SEXUALITY OR RACE IS CREATED, ALL THE STRAIGHT/WHITE PEOPLE RESPOND WITH GREAT INDIGNATION, SAYING WHAT A DREADFULLY PREJUDICED QUESTION IT IS TOWARDS GAY/BLACK PEOPLE. WHEREAS THE GAY AND BLACK PEOPLE THEMSELVES ACTUALLY DON'T HAVE A PROBLEM WITH IT, AND ARE QUITE CURIOUS TO SEE WHAT PEOPLE'S ATTITUDES ARE. I THINK IT'S MORE THAT THE STRAIGHT/WHITE GROUP ARE AFRAID OF LOOKING PREJUDICED, AND THEY THINK THE QUESTION IS AN INSULT TO THEMSELVES BECAUSE IT ALLOWS FOR THE POSSIBILITY THAT THEY MIGHT BE PREJUDICED.
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19 Mar 2009, 23:59
Estella
Post Count: 1779
OH NEVER MIND, YO - I SEE I MISREAD THE QUESTION! I THOUGHT WILL WAS ASKING PEOPLE WHETHER THEY WOULD DATE OTHER RACES! I WAS TOTALLY GETTING CONFUSED WHY PEOPLE WERE REACTING SO STRONGLY AGAINST THE QUESTION! I SEE YOUR POINT NOW, YO. ALTHOUGH EQUALLY, I THINK THAT THE QUESTION IS NOT NECESSARILY STUPID. I CAN THINK OF AN ANSWER TO IT, IN FACT. I SHALL GO AND ANSWER, YO!
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20 Mar 2009, 00:16
Acid Fairy
Post Count: 1849
I don't know anybody who doesn't notice race though, which is why there is still the phrase 'interracial dating'. Would you prefer 'Inter-ethnicity dating'? ;D Unless you live in a culture that is very mixed, you are going to pick up on it.

And I LOVE how you have equated race to running race haha, it sounds good! Like, proper bullshit you'd put into an essay haha, good work! ;D
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20 Mar 2009, 00:28
mixie
Post Count: 196
I think you are right! It is my idealism that one day race will go away that gets in the way of me seeing the world how it really is. I would really just prefer that "race," "ethnicity," whatever you want to call it wasn't an issue. As in, if someone that only dates people within their races sees an interracial couple, I would PREFER they think, "those are two people that like each other" instead of, "wow I wonder why they do that." *shrug* Thanks, I'm a good bullshitter.
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19 Mar 2009, 18:43
Opie's Old Lady
Post Count: 459
Well for me I don't much care about color. I mean as long as they are respectful of me, faithful, can cook *always a bonus*, a complete & total gentleman, & are all about family, then I don't give a flying rats ass if they are blue with fucking puke green polka-dots. Haha.

Seriously! I think that question is rather random & weird, but hey whatev' really. Granted I have only had white boyfriends but in my opinion they are nothing but bitchy little mamas boys who want a girl that will be their mama when they need it & a fuck buddy when they are horny. No thank you. I will pass on that.
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19 Mar 2009, 21:02
.November.Butterfly.
Post Count: 210
I married someone from another country, because i love him. not because of his sexy olive skin hah.
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